Twins on the brain

RitaLee · April 2014

Is it just me, or does anyone else always feel like when the DO finally get pregnant that they are going to have twins? I feel like I am the only one who has this feeling, maybe it's an inkling or whatever but twins are always on my mind. Maybe I am projecting because I do want to have a "big" family (3 hopefully). Anyone else on this boat with me?

I don't have any kids, Hubby and I are not actively "trying" but we aren't actively preventing either. Trying to keep a calm, cool, and collected outlook. Also dealing with being overweight and having PCOS.

RitaLee · April 2014

We are not "trying" for twins one way or another, its just a reoccurring thought that I have. I'll be happy for any number of children. I am keeping my fingers crossed that we can do it on our own without any assistance from medicine. Trying to get my PCOS to cooperate :-$

normandyn7 · April 2014

Kimbus22 said:

No. But I lived in fear of twins until the first ultrasound in both pregnancies. Two babies at once scares the shit out of me.

This!

ks3pink · April 2014

I have twins and I never in my wildest dreams thought that I would. Complete shock to see two babies on that ultrasound screen.

Helenahhandbasket · April 2014

I think a lot of women think about this.

GL to you FX for a healthy pregnancy.

Jags8 · April 2014

I hope on all hopes that I am never pregnant with more than one at a time! I am a very small person (4'11"), so that just sounds awful and uncomfortable to me.

Twinkie0612 · April 2014

I am a fraternal twin. There's a chance that I will end up with twins, but not because I am a twin, because we will probably transfer two embryos during our donor embryo FET.

Am I hoping for twins? Not really, but our GM was AMA when the embryos were created so the success rates are not not as high. We are willing to risk twins to hopefully increase our chance at success.

veetveet · April 2014

I'd like more children- but not two at one time. Scary!

wishiwaspreggo · April 2014

NariaDreaming said:

I'm quite afraid of twins at this point because I'm going through fertility treatment and with the # of mature and near mature follies that I have, I'm running a 50/50 shot of twins if this cycle works.

YUP. That's where I am too, at this point. I've accepted the likelihood of twins with my next IUI. I'm still holding out that there's a 60% chance of a singleton, but there's still a 30% chance of twins if I do get pregnant so... there's that. My mom wants me to have twins. Of course. Because she wants as many grandkids as she can get, RIGHT NOW.

wolowizard · April 2014

Twins run in my mother in laws family. She adopted my husband and forgets it all of the time (it's really sweet though because he is her son, she just forgets sometimes that it's not biological because she was at the hospital when he was born, and was the first person to ever hold him). When we first started dating she told me "maybe you'll have twins one day! They run in our family!"

normandyn7 · April 2014

rentaduckie said:

I'm terrified of having twins. I'm quitting the pill a month before we ttc, because I'm scared of the increased risk of twins after coming off bc. I know it's still a small risk. I do have twins on the brain though. A woman at church is pregnant with twins. Doesn't help my twin anxiety.

I have never heard this. I thought it wasn't proven to be true....

Helenahhandbasket · April 2014

smithaz602 said:

rentaduckie said:

I'm terrified of having twins. I'm quitting the pill a month before we ttc, because I'm scared of the increased risk of twins after coming off bc. I know it's still a small risk. I do have twins on the brain though. A woman at church is pregnant with twins. Doesn't help my twin anxiety.

I have never heard this. I thought it wasn't proven to be true....

It's not true.

wishiwaspreggo · April 2014

NariaDreaming said:

WhoCanItBeNow said:

wishiwaspreggo said:

NariaDreaming said:

I'm quite afraid of twins at this point because I'm going through fertility treatment and with the # of mature and near mature follies that I have, I'm running a 50/50 shot of twins if this cycle works.

YUP. That's where I am too, at this point. I've accepted the likelihood of twins with my next IUI. I'm still holding out that there's a 60% chance of a singleton, but there's still a 30% chance of twins if I do get pregnant so... there's that. My mom wants me to have twins. Of course. Because she wants as many grandkids as she can get, RIGHT NOW.
You need a new RE if those are the stats they are giving you.

Was your comment a sarcastic reply to the math that doesn't add up, or a serious response due to the high multiples rate?

YIKES! Yeah, bad math lol - If I get pregnant on my next cycle, the chance of twins would be 20%. I was holding out hope that it means there's a 80% chance of having one. But that's if I get pregnant at all, which they said was 30%. No clue how I came up with those numbers...

Helenahhandbasket · April 2014

rentaduckie said:

smithaz602 said:

rentaduckie said:

I'm terrified of having twins. I'm quitting the pill a month before we ttc, because I'm scared of the increased risk of twins after coming off bc. I know it's still a small risk. I do have twins on the brain though. A woman at church is pregnant with twins. Doesn't help my twin anxiety.

I have never heard this. I thought it wasn't proven to be true....

It's not true.
----------- Google had conflicting answers. It sounded plausible enough. Either way I wanted to start temping now, and I've heard it's not a bad idea to have a real cycle before ttc.

It's not a bad idea to have a real cycle in between, but there is absolutley no truth to twins being more likely right after coming off of birth control. I would think if it were true, the instance of twinning would be much, much higher than it is.

The rate for twinning is currently only at about 3%, and that includes both spontaneous twins and twins that are a result of assisted reproduction.

sschwege · April 2014

Kimbus22 said:

No. But I lived in fear of twins until the first ultrasound in both pregnancies. Two babies at once scares the shit out of me.

Me too!

I used to wish for twins until I was a nanny for newborn twins. After that I decided I want them one at a time!

RitaLee · April 2014

This proves my thought that maybe it is "just me." LMAO no idea why I keep thinking it I just do! I definitely don't know how I would react if that was ever the case!

8411mommy · April 2014

I think the thought of twins would be cute and adorable, but the reality of having twins would be hard to take in. We could manage but it would be very hard especially with already having a child that would be under 5 .
But I would be happy either way.

msditz00 · April 2014

I always said I never wanted to be pregnant with twins, but I would be OK raising them (my husband and I always had planned to have bio kids and adopt). I have two bio sons, and each pregnancy I was so nervous until one baby was confirmed. Then we got got licensed to foster/adopt. We are licensed for up to 3 siblings under the age of 6, yet the first call we got matching us with kids was for twin newborns.

LimaD · April 2014

My grandma (on my mom's side) had fraternal twins AND triplets.
So yeah...I'm a little nervous about that as well

NevaraDB · April 2014

I'm kind of WANTING twins. I have so many health problems, and going through the process of weaning myself off my meds and taking the risks of NOT being on those meds during a pregnancy, makes me only want to do pregnancy once!

24karat · April 2014

car seat said:

NevaraDB said:

I'm kind of WANTING twins. I have so many health problems, and going through the process of weaning myself off my meds and taking the risks of NOT being on those meds during a pregnancy, makes me only want to do pregnancy once!

If you have health problems you don't want a twin pregnancy. My singleton pregnancy was difficult, but it had absolutely nothing on my twin pregnancy. It's extremely hard on your body, and aside from infertility I'm a very healthy person.

Your siggy says that you're high risk. It's insane to want to want what's automatically considered a high risk pregnancy when you already have conditions that put you at higher risk.

Agree with this 100%. I can see why one might think twins an easier route (BOGO and get it over with) but it really isn't, even if you end up in the lucky minority that has zero complications. I've had great health my entire life but the twin pregnancy took a toll on my body far beyond what my singleton one did...and that's not even touching the heightened risks for babies in a multiples pregnancy.

DebateThis · April 2014

kjkarats03 said:

car seat said:

NevaraDB said:

I'm kind of WANTING twins. I have so many health problems, and going through the process of weaning myself off my meds and taking the risks of NOT being on those meds during a pregnancy, makes me only want to do pregnancy once!

If you have health problems you don't want a twin pregnancy. My singleton pregnancy was difficult, but it had absolutely nothing on my twin pregnancy. It's extremely hard on your body, and aside from infertility I'm a very healthy person.

Your siggy says that you're high risk. It's insane to want to want what's automatically considered a high risk pregnancy when you already have conditions that put you at higher risk.

Agree with this 100%. I can see why one might think twins an easier route (BOGO and get it over with) but it really isn't, even if you end up in the lucky minority that has zero complications. I've had great health my entire life but the twin pregnancy took a toll on my body far beyond what my singleton one did...and that's not even touching the heightened risks for babies in a multiples pregnancy.

Agree with all of this. And I know you're new here, Nevara, so I'll give you the benefit of the doubt once. But just a fair warning - we've had several members lose their babies due to preterm labor complications over the years and several others with micropreemies who've very nearly died or will have lifelong health concerns due to prematurity. These kinds of comments, when you're already high risk, will not fly here.

purple_2012 · April 2014

When I was younger I wanted twins. But, now I don't and don't see myself having any as they don't run in my family. I will gladly take my children one at a time.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

NevaraDB · April 2014

I'm generally only high risk because of my weight and because of my lap band. BUT, I was not aware having twins was an automatic high risk pregnancy. I was basing my limited understanding on the two moms I know who must have had miraculous situations because both had very healthy babies and pregnancies and both were less than 2 weeks early. I'm beginning to think that's not the norm from what I'm hearing. I'm SO genuinely sorry if I offended anyone or hurt you in any way. I most certainly have had a pie in the sky examples around me, so I thought it would be nice to not put my body through it twice, but now I see what y'all mean.

frank3jr · April 2014

I never in a million years thought I would have twins so it was the biggest shock of my life at our first ultrasound. My husband however had a feeling and he was right. My grandpa was a twin so we did have it in the family but I still never thought it would happen.

My twins are almost a year old and although we have had some really tough days and nights, I LOVE having twins. The way they communicate and are best friends is priceless. They crawl/walk around together, make each other giggle and smile. I also love that we really notice how unique they are because they are so different. I'm not sure if we would have noticed all the really unique things about them if we didnt' have them growing up at the same time. Again it can be very difficult at times, but it has been such a blessing to have the twins. You do get tons of crazy and rude comments from strangers and I overall had a high risk but good pregnancy but there are a lot of positives.

One thing though is that when you have twins, it doesn't mean that you are done having kids. We have boy/girl twins so people especially think we are done having kids but really we can't wait to have more and am looking forward to being pregnant again.

NevaraDB · April 2014

frank3jr said:

I never in a million years thought I would have twins so it was the biggest shock of my life at our first ultrasound. My husband however had a feeling and he was right. My grandpa was a twin so we did have it in the family but I still never thought it would happen.

My twins are almost a year old and although we have had some really tough days and nights, I LOVE having twins. The way they communicate and are best friends is priceless. They crawl/walk around together, make each other giggle and smile. I also love that we really notice how unique they are because they are so different. I'm not sure if we would have noticed all the really unique things about them if we didnt' have them growing up at the same time. Again it can be very difficult at times, but it has been such a blessing to have the twins. You do get tons of crazy and rude comments from strangers and I overall had a high risk but good pregnancy but there are a lot of positives.

One thing though is that when you have twins, it doesn't mean that you are done having kids. We have boy/girl twins so people especially think we are done having kids but really we can't wait to have more and am looking forward to being pregnant again.

That stuff is part of why i thought I'd want twins. I was effectively an only child due to my siblings being so far apart from me age wise. I personally love the idea of a close set of kids like that. And like I said, I wrongly assumed a twin pregnancy COULD go well, not that it always did. I did not know that even those who had a good pregnancy with twins still had a very awful time of it.

car seat said:

NevaraDB said:

I'm generally only high risk because of my weight and because of my lap band. BUT, I was not aware having twins was an automatic high risk pregnancy. I was basing my limited understanding on the two moms I know who must have had miraculous situations because both had very healthy babies and pregnancies and both were less than 2 weeks early. I'm beginning to think that's not the norm from what I'm hearing. I'm SO genuinely sorry if I offended anyone or hurt you in any way. I most certainly have had a pie in the sky examples around me, so I thought it would be nice to not put my body through it twice, but now I see what y'all mean.

So... a doctor hasn't classified you as high risk? You just decided that you are?

Still want a twin pregnancy?

I was told by two OBGYN'S that my lap band makes me high risk. So yes, I'm high risk. No I did NOT just label myself that.

I think twins are a gift from God just like any other singleton is. Do I want to endure the pain, no. Do I still like the IDEA of twins, yes. Ultimately my answer is no, but I'm sorry I've seemed to have offended so many people. I am obviously alone in my thoughts that there are advantages to having twins.

LimaD · April 2014

NevaraDB said:

frank3jr said:

I never in a million years thought I would have twins so it was the biggest shock of my life at our first ultrasound. My husband however had a feeling and he was right. My grandpa was a twin so we did have it in the family but I still never thought it would happen.

My twins are almost a year old and although we have had some really tough days and nights, I LOVE having twins. The way they communicate and are best friends is priceless. They crawl/walk around together, make each other giggle and smile. I also love that we really notice how unique they are because they are so different. I'm not sure if we would have noticed all the really unique things about them if we didnt' have them growing up at the same time. Again it can be very difficult at times, but it has been such a blessing to have the twins. You do get tons of crazy and rude comments from strangers and I overall had a high risk but good pregnancy but there are a lot of positives.

One thing though is that when you have twins, it doesn't mean that you are done having kids. We have boy/girl twins so people especially think we are done having kids but really we can't wait to have more and am looking forward to being pregnant again.

That stuff is part of why i thought I'd want twins. I was effectively an only child due to my siblings being so far apart from me age wise. I personally love the idea of a close set of kids like that. And like I said, I wrongly assumed a twin pregnancy COULD go well, not that it always did. I did not know that even those who had a good pregnancy with twins still had a very awful time of it.

car seat said:

NevaraDB said:

I'm generally only high risk because of my weight and because of my lap band. BUT, I was not aware having twins was an automatic high risk pregnancy. I was basing my limited understanding on the two moms I know who must have had miraculous situations because both had very healthy babies and pregnancies and both were less than 2 weeks early. I'm beginning to think that's not the norm from what I'm hearing. I'm SO genuinely sorry if I offended anyone or hurt you in any way. I most certainly have had a pie in the sky examples around me, so I thought it would be nice to not put my body through it twice, but now I see what y'all mean.

So... a doctor hasn't classified you as high risk? You just decided that you are?

Still want a twin pregnancy?

I was told by two OBGYN'S that my lap band makes me high risk. So yes, I'm high risk. No I did NOT just label myself that.

I think twins are a gift from God just like any other singleton is. Do I want to endure the pain, no. Do I still like the IDEA of twins, yes. Ultimately my answer is no, but I'm sorry I've seemed to have offended so many people. I am obviously alone in my thoughts that there are advantages to having twins.

IDK why PP had a problem with this statement.
I agree. I don't really WANT to have twins because I can't imagine how hard the pregnancy would be, and how difficult it would be trying to take care of TWO newborns in addition to my DD. But if I were to have twins, it would also be double the blessing! I wouldn't wish that one of them wasn't there.

LimaD · April 2014

WhoCanItBeNow said:

After everything that has been posted about people's issue with twin pregnancies, it's fucking disgusting that you would call that a gift from God.

I see what you mean.

But at the same time, I think most of these women who have had difficult pregnancies with their twins still consider their babies themselves a blessing/gift. (And I think that's what NevaraDB was saying)

Twinkie0612 · April 2014

LimaD said:

WhoCanItBeNow said:

After everything that has been posted about people's issue with twin pregnancies, it's fucking disgusting that you would call that a gift from God.
I see what you mean.
But at the same time, I think most of these women who have had difficult pregnancies with their twins still consider their babies themselves a blessing/gift. (And I think that's what NevaraDB was saying)

Here's the problem with saying that "twins are a gift from God like any singleton." You are implying that God is deciding who gets twins, who gets singletons, and who (like me) gets no babies. It's basically implying that God has decided for some reason that I don't deserve children. That's kind of a hurtful thing to imply, no?

Also what about people that pregnacy complications from twins, did God want them to suffer? Is that why He gave them twins? What about people who lose one or both twins from these complications? Did God want that to happen since He dicided to give them twins?

Bringing God into the TTC conversation opens up a lot questions/ideas that can be hurtful to others.

LimaD · April 2014

Twinkie0612 said: LimaD said: WhoCanItBeNow said: After everything that has been posted about people's issue with twin pregnancies, it's fucking disgusting that you would call that a gift from God.
I see what you mean. But at the same time, I think most of these women who have had difficult pregnancies with their twins still consider their babies themselves a blessing/gift. (And I think that's what NevaraDB was saying)
Here's the problem with saying that "twins are a gift from God like any singleton." You are implying that God is deciding who gets twins, who gets singletons, and who (like me) gets no babies. It's basically implying that God has decided for some reason that I don't deserve children. That's kind of a hurtful thing to imply, no?

Also what about people that pregnacy complications from twins, did God want them to suffer? Is that why He gave them twins? What about people who lose one or both twins from these complications? Did God want that to happen since He dicided to give them twins?

Bringing God into the TTC conversation opens up a lot questions/ideas that can be hurtful to others.

Ok, I can see your point too.
I believe in God, (and that children are a gift from God, like the Bible says they are) but that doesn't mean I understand all of him and what he does/doesn't allow to happen. Those are questions a lot of people struggle with and not just with TTC...My heart goes out to all the women I know, and anyone here, who have faced any of those situations you mentioned. Sincerely. I would never want to offend any of you in that way

24karat · April 2014

NevaraDB said:
snip
That stuff is part of why i thought I'd want twins. I was effectively an only child due to my siblings being so far apart from me age wise. I personally love the idea of a close set of kids like that. And like I said, I wrongly assumed a twin pregnancy COULD go well, not that it always did. I did not know that even those who had a good pregnancy with twins still had a very awful time of it.
snip

I think twins are a gift from God just like any other singleton is. Do I want to endure the pain, no. Do I still like the IDEA of twins, yes. Ultimately my answer is no, but I'm sorry I've seemed to have offended so many people. I am obviously alone in my thoughts that there are advantages to having twins.

-----------------------Stuck in quote box------------------------------

Even that is a huge misconception. Just because they're twins doesn't mean they'll automatically have a super close friendship. Some do, some don't...it's like any other sibling set in that regard. It's always possible to end up with a set like mine who really don't want anything to do with each other.

After researching multiples pregnancies and parenting plus what I have experienced, I'm of the opinion that there are very few "good" reasons for wanting multiples. I love my babies and wouldn't trade or change them, but people like you who think multiples are just cutesy fun, "convenient", or advantageous come across as very ignorant and out of touch with reality.

NevaraDB · April 2014

Whocanitbenow WOW. Just wow. Grow up and realize I'm not trying to hurt people by having my OWN beliefs!! I'm not forcing what I believe on you. This place is volatile and honestly, immature. So WHAT if I believe in God? I don't happen to care that you don't. Please quit caring that I do. You'll find yourself less bitter and upset if you concern yourself with your own beliefs rather than lashing out at anyone who might be different than you. Wow, tolerance at it's best ladies and gentlemen.

NevaraDB · April 2014

But telling me to get the fuck out with my god stuff?? That's not being a troll? I wasn't aware I was treading dangerous waters. I simply wanted to chime in. I will refrain. To the OP, I hope whatever you are hoping for happens and that you find your womb full very soon! Whether with one or more.

NevaraDB · April 2014

Again, had NO IDEA cfnbc was a signature for child free not by choice.

NevaraDB · April 2014

Ok, sorry to everyone. I can't explain my beliefs in a way that satisfies anyone. I'm just trying to say that you guys aren't the only ones who got hurt here. Being judged FOR my beliefs is pretty hideous too. I don't believe God takes babies away from ppl. Whole other subject. But in any case, I'm moving on from here. I've upset a lot of ppl apparently, so I'll just go.

Twinkie0612 · April 2014

NevaraDB said:

Whocanitbenow WOW. Just wow. Grow up and realize I'm not trying to hurt people by having my OWN beliefs!! I'm not forcing what I believe on you. This place is volatile and honestly, immature. So WHAT if I believe in God? I don't happen to care that you don't. Please quit caring that I do. You'll find yourself less bitter and upset if you concern yourself with your own beliefs rather than lashing out at anyone who might be different than you. Wow, tolerance at it's best ladies and gentlemen.

Yay for pulling the bitter card! If you read my response, I explained why pulling God into TTC can be hurtful to others. FWIW I believe in God, I just don't believe that He is deciding who gets pregnant and how many children they will have. If I believed this then I would be an angry person because it would mean that He has decided that I don't deserve to get pregnant. I also believe in a loving God that would never intentionally cause people pain. I have had two online friends lose babies in the second tri in the last month. I just can't believe that God wanted that to happen.

Twinkie0612 · April 2014

For some reason the bump won't let me edit my comment.

I have no problem with you believing that "God blesses people with children." You are completely entitled to your beliefs. I do think people should be aware of how their beliefs affect others. That is why I pointed out how your beliefs could be hurtful to others. Like WCIBN said, the Westboro Church has the right to believe what they want, but it doesn't make their protests "right."

Pookieson · April 2014

DaisyBlinks said:

I was like....irrationally afraid of twins this time around. Somehow I felt like I would end up with them and I really didn't want to. My last pregnancy ended high risk and I was feeling desperate for everything to go smoothly and I knew twins would throw a wrench in that. I was even nervous for my first ultrasound and the tech told me 'there's only one" and I blurted out "THANK GOD". I can't really wrap my head around wanting a riskier pregnancy.

But anyway...I felt like I was going to, I didn't. I don't think feelings mean much on these matters.

this is me. I am high risk. I have been pregnant with twins twice. I lost one with DD pregnancy and I lost both during my second pregnancy back in August. I am terrified of twins because I am already high risk and I don't have the best track record with them. I don't understand why anyone would want a more complicated/riskier pregnancy so that they can have twins.

ArgyleBride · April 2014

You guys are being completely unfair piling onto Nevara. She wasn't pushing her beliefs on anybody, much less so that you are.

The logical-conclusions game really doesn't apply to faith, and twisting her words to the point of a baby-killing God is pretty damn low.

ETA: Sorry for pulling up a crusty thread, I didn't notice.

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