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Little Rant to get this off my chest

nikkiemyallnikkiemyall member
in 2nd Trimester
My husband and I found out this weekend what we were having. From the VERY beginning I swore up and down it was a girl until the last 2 weeks. I just didn't feel like it was anymore. Of course we found out we're expecting a cute little baby BOY! We're both SUPER estatic!

The thing I'm coming across now that we've announced we're having a boy is that friends are asking me if I'm excited.

I'm sorry?? No excitement left the building when they said it was a boy.

Ughhhh! My response to one person was OF COURSE I'm excited. As long as baby is healthy, pees, and poops I'm happy. Doesn't matter what gender baby is.
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Re: Little Rant to get this off my chest

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  • nikkiemyallnikkiemyall member
    Ok totally in LOVE with that! Hahahaha I needed that for a good laugh. Thank you! :):)
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  • nikkiemyallnikkiemyall member
    HAHAHA Hilarious! Ok I will do that!!!!
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  • 12bailey1812bailey18 member
    I completely understand. It always throws me when people ask me what I 'want.' As if I don't get the sex I want I'll be disappointed? It's a pet peeve of mine.

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  • CiderWenchCiderWench member
    Nicb13 said:
    CiderWench said:
    Nicb13 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
    My husband and I found out this weekend what we were having. From the VERY beginning I swore up and down it was a girl until the last 2 weeks. I just didn't feel like it was anymore. Of course we found out we're expecting a cute little baby BOY! We're both SUPER estatic!

    The thing I'm coming across now that we've announced we're having a boy is that friends are asking me if I'm excited.

    I'm sorry?? No excitement left the building when they said it was a boy.

    Ughhhh! My response to one person was OF COURSE I'm excited. As long as baby is healthy, pees, and poops I'm happy. Doesn't matter what gender baby is.
    How is it weird to ask if you are excited? It's a pretty typical question that pregnant people get just like "how are you feeling?". Not sure why that's so terrible?
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.

    The bolded is just ridiculous. The glass is half empty mentality I suppose.

    Ok so you had someone ask in a way that implied something else but surely the simple question "are you excited?" is not a "rude" question across the boards. It's such a simple thing to ask and even if it's annoying, I doubt most people who ask it, intend for it to come across as rude. I think some people just try to find something negative when that might not be the case at all. 

    Well, I will admit that I'm probably being overly sensitive about it, as well as reading too much into it. As I said, it was coming from my husband's family and I strongly dislike, and frequently butt heads with, many of them.
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  • mfsunshine222mfsunshine222 member
    I get the "how are you feeling?" question all the time.  It isn't this initial question that annoys me, but the follow up questions that get irritating after I tell people I feeel fine.  I read on a post a while ago that if you don't have morning sickness or other annoying pregnancy symptoms don't brag about it because pregnancy has a way of providing you with a "God Smack" if you brag about how well you are doing or how great you are feeling.  But all the questions that people keep prodding me with like, "NOTHING made you sick??? How about smells???? What about cravings???"  I feel like I need to lie and say I fee terrible.
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  • ConversationFearConversationFear member
    mjreilly2 said:
    Nicb13 said:
    CiderWench said:
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.

    The bolded is just ridiculous. The glass is half empty mentality I suppose.

    Ok so you had someone ask in a way that implied something else but surely the simple question "are you excited?" is not a "rude" question across the boards. It's such a simple thing to ask and even if it's annoying, I doubt most people who ask it, intend for it to come across as rude. I think some people just try to find something negative when that might not be the case at all. 

    I agree with this completely! I think most people just use it as a conversation starter—something to say. No different than "How are you?" "Are you ready?" Yada yada yada. Now, if they asked "Are you disappointed?" That is a little different.

    Sorry you are annoyed OP.

    That's what I thought. People asked the same thing when I got engaged...they know you are excited, they are just trying to start the conversation about that excitement.

    And to be fair - not everyone is excited about having a baby. Some people are nervous or scared or, as we've seen in previous topics on this board, some people take a little longer than others to "feel that connection."

    Now if they asked if you are "still excited" after finding out it's a boy - then I see where you are coming from. You're original post doesn't indicate that though, so I'm having a hard time understanding the drama.


     

     

     

     

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  • FriskypuppysFriskypuppys member
    That was one thing that I found irritating was being asked about being excited about being pregnant.  It was like it was the only emotion I was allowed.  But I wasn't excited yet, I was still reeling from the news and trying to figure out wedding and honeymoon logistics that I needed to change.  Even now, excitement isn't the emotion that comes to mind when I think about how I feel.  Yes, I can't wait to meet him, yes he's my son, but there's all the other that comes to mind.  I feel like crap, I feel like screaming, I feel like laughing.  It's such a rollercoaster that summing it up under excitement just doesn't feel honest.  Five minutes from now, I'll feel differently. 

    I think they are excited and that the only thing they can think about is their excitement.  After all, they get to play with the baby, they aren't watching every food that goes into their body, exercising when they really want a nap, internet surfing to make sure they aren't missing some vital piece that will keep that baby from being sick or getting some dehabilitating mental illness. 

    So I understand the irritation at the question.  The gender knowledge doesn't change my base feelings about the baby.  I was thinking boy stuff, and am getting one, but if I found out it was a girl instead, the same stuff I was worried about when I was thinking I was getting a boy, still applies with the additional, Daddy needs to buy a shotgun.  :) 
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  • ss265ss265 member
    The "are you excited" question really irritated me when I was pregnant with DS. Honestly, I wasn't excited. My pregnancy was planned but I am not a baby person and had no idea how to take care of one. I had also heard so many horror stories about sleeping etc. and was very overwhelmed with this new territory I was stepping into. And it's not really a question to which you can respond to with "no, I'm not excited". I understand why people ask it but I really do think it's a silly question to ask a pregnant woman.

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  • mrsH1112mrsH1112 member
    Yeah thats annoying.  Im lucky in the fact that my family and DH's family like the fact that we are team green and we would all be happy with either (thought I secretly think my parents want their 5th grand daughter).

    I agree with someone else here who said sometimes people just dont know what to say to a pregnant woman.  They try and make baby related conversation and just end up saying dumb stuff.

    I have a co worker, this guy is in his 60's, him and I work closely together, and literally he will ask me how Im feeling 10x a day.  Other times he will come in and say to me and my other preg. co worker "Hi moms....I have one question for you...You still pregnant?" He says it in a cutesy voice.  Finally one day I told him "You know Tom, I know you are just sorta kidding and being cute about saying that...but have you ever thought about if something happened w one of us and one of us found we had lost the baby and now were not preg anymore?"
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  • JSS1002JSS1002 member
    CiderWench said:
    Nicb13 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
    My husband and I found out this weekend what we were having. From the VERY beginning I swore up and down it was a girl until the last 2 weeks. I just didn't feel like it was anymore. Of course we found out we're expecting a cute little baby BOY! We're both SUPER estatic!

    The thing I'm coming across now that we've announced we're having a boy is that friends are asking me if I'm excited.

    I'm sorry?? No excitement left the building when they said it was a boy.

    Ughhhh! My response to one person was OF COURSE I'm excited. As long as baby is healthy, pees, and poops I'm happy. Doesn't matter what gender baby is.
    How is it weird to ask if you are excited? It's a pretty typical question that pregnant people get just like "how are you feeling?". Not sure why that's so terrible?
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.
    It doesn't IMPLY a thing. It asks a straight forward question: are you excited. The end.  What the hell are people supposed to say, "oh thank God it isn't a girl?!"  Chill out people.  Everybody just wants to celebrate your baby and ask you how you're doing. Why does everybody always assume bad intent?
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  • JSS1002JSS1002 member
    Nicb13 said:
    CiderWench said:
    Nicb13 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
    My husband and I found out this weekend what we were having. From the VERY beginning I swore up and down it was a girl until the last 2 weeks. I just didn't feel like it was anymore. Of course we found out we're expecting a cute little baby BOY! We're both SUPER estatic!

    The thing I'm coming across now that we've announced we're having a boy is that friends are asking me if I'm excited.

    I'm sorry?? No excitement left the building when they said it was a boy.

    Ughhhh! My response to one person was OF COURSE I'm excited. As long as baby is healthy, pees, and poops I'm happy. Doesn't matter what gender baby is.
    How is it weird to ask if you are excited? It's a pretty typical question that pregnant people get just like "how are you feeling?". Not sure why that's so terrible?
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.

    The bolded is just ridiculous. The glass is half empty mentality I suppose.

    Ok so you had someone ask in a way that implied something else but surely the simple question "are you excited?" is not a "rude" question across the boards. It's such a simple thing to ask and even if it's annoying, I doubt most people who ask it, intend for it to come across as rude. I think some people just try to find something negative when that might not be the case at all. 

    Seriously. A bunch of touchy broads  on this thread.
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    I think you need to calm the fuck down. People do say dumb shit to pregnant women, granted. However, in this instance it's a conversation starter or question to continue conversation in a positive way. I got asked all the time if I was excited.

    Seriously, folks are just trying to be civil & you are acting like it's a damn federal crime to even talk to you.


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  • nikkiemyallnikkiemyall member
    Nicb13 said:
    CiderWench said:
    Nicb13 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
    My husband and I found out this weekend what we were having. From the VERY beginning I swore up and down it was a girl until the last 2 weeks. I just didn't feel like it was anymore. Of course we found out we're expecting a cute little baby BOY! We're both SUPER estatic!

    The thing I'm coming across now that we've announced we're having a boy is that friends are asking me if I'm excited.

    I'm sorry?? No excitement left the building when they said it was a boy.

    Ughhhh! My response to one person was OF COURSE I'm excited. As long as baby is healthy, pees, and poops I'm happy. Doesn't matter what gender baby is.
    How is it weird to ask if you are excited? It's a pretty typical question that pregnant people get just like "how are you feeling?". Not sure why that's so terrible?
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.

    The bolded is just ridiculous. The glass is half empty mentality I suppose.

    Ok so you had someone ask in a way that implied something else but surely the simple question "are you excited?" is not a "rude" question across the boards. It's such a simple thing to ask and even if it's annoying, I doubt most people who ask it, intend for it to come across as rude. I think some people just try to find something negative when that might not be the case at all. 

    I'm not sure you understood the whole point of my post. It came off RUDE because everyone knew that I thought it was a girl. So when we found out we were having a boy to ask IF you're excited it's a boy... RUDE! It shouldn't matter what we're having to make me excited. I cried either way.
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  • nikkiemyallnikkiemyall member
    ConversationFear said:
    mjreilly2 said:
    Nicb13 said:
    CiderWench said:
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.

    The bolded is just ridiculous. The glass is half empty mentality I suppose.

    Ok so you had someone ask in a way that implied something else but surely the simple question "are you excited?" is not a "rude" question across the boards. It's such a simple thing to ask and even if it's annoying, I doubt most people who ask it, intend for it to come across as rude. I think some people just try to find something negative when that might not be the case at all. 

    I agree with this completely! I think most people just use it as a conversation starter—something to say. No different than "How are you?" "Are you ready?" Yada yada yada. Now, if they asked "Are you disappointed?" That is a little different.

    Sorry you are annoyed OP.

    That's what I thought. People asked the same thing when I got engaged...they know you are excited, they are just trying to start the conversation about that excitement.

    And to be fair - not everyone is excited about having a baby. Some people are nervous or scared or, as we've seen in previous topics on this board, some people take a little longer than others to "feel that connection."

    Now if they asked if you are "still excited" after finding out it's a boy - then I see where you are coming from. You're original post doesn't indicate that though, so I'm having a hard time understanding the drama.


     

    I can see asking oh hey are you excited you're pregnant when you first find out. But to ask if you're still excited whether it's a boy or a girl is a little much. Plus it was just a little rant.. I'm glad there are other's who see the frustration. :)
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  • nikkiemyallnikkiemyall member
    NLewis1 said:
    mfsunshine222 said:
    I get the "how are you feeling?" question all the time.  It isn't this initial question that annoys me, but the follow up questions that get irritating after I tell people I feeel fine.  I read on a post a while ago that if you don't have morning sickness or other annoying pregnancy symptoms don't brag about it because pregnancy has a way of providing you with a "God Smack" if you brag about how well you are doing or how great you are feeling.  But all the questions that people keep prodding me with like, "NOTHING made you sick??? How about smells???? What about cravings???"  I feel like I need to lie and say I fee terrible.
    I have one guy at work that LITERALLY asks me "Hows it going?" EVERY. TIME. I. SEE. HIM. which is, about 9-10 times a day. I seriously want to scream "ITS GOING THE SAME AS IT WAS 45 MINUTES AGO WHEN YOU ASKED ME LAST" but I just grit my teeth and say "fine John" and walk away. every. single. day. This guy is going to make my head explode.
    HAHAHA! YES! I have a couple of co-workers who ask the same thing constantly throughout the day. I want a shirt that says, "Yes I'm pregnant, and Yes I'm feel fine" lol
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  • kimek8kimek8 member
    I always feel like people are so disappointed when I tell them that for the most part I've felt pretty good and being tired is the only "problem" I have to offer. 
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  • CiderWenchCiderWench member
    JSS1002 said:
    Nicb13 said:
    CiderWench said:
    Nicb13 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
    My husband and I found out this weekend what we were having. From the VERY beginning I swore up and down it was a girl until the last 2 weeks. I just didn't feel like it was anymore. Of course we found out we're expecting a cute little baby BOY! We're both SUPER estatic!

    The thing I'm coming across now that we've announced we're having a boy is that friends are asking me if I'm excited.

    I'm sorry?? No excitement left the building when they said it was a boy.

    Ughhhh! My response to one person was OF COURSE I'm excited. As long as baby is healthy, pees, and poops I'm happy. Doesn't matter what gender baby is.
    How is it weird to ask if you are excited? It's a pretty typical question that pregnant people get just like "how are you feeling?". Not sure why that's so terrible?
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.

    The bolded is just ridiculous. The glass is half empty mentality I suppose.

    Ok so you had someone ask in a way that implied something else but surely the simple question "are you excited?" is not a "rude" question across the boards. It's such a simple thing to ask and even if it's annoying, I doubt most people who ask it, intend for it to come across as rude. I think some people just try to find something negative when that might not be the case at all. 

    Seriously. A bunch of touchy broads  on this thread.
    Lol. Trust me, it was waaaay worse before the Prozac.
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  • Dani0329Dani0329 member
    edited April 2014
    People are crazy, my estranged aunt messaged me and asked, "are you sure you are ready for this? It is pretty scary, I know I was scared." Who says that to someone who is already pregnant? I wanted to say, oh shit no I'm not ready, I never thought it would be scary.... Lol but I just gave a courteous, short response.

     
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  • JSS1002JSS1002 member
    Nicb13 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
     
    I'm not sure you understood the whole point of my post. It came off RUDE because everyone knew that I thought it was a girl. So when we found out we were having a boy to ask IF you're excited it's a boy... RUDE! It shouldn't matter what we're having to make me excited. I cried either way.

    Nope, not rude IMO but that's ok that you thought it was.
    Agreed. Not the slightest bit rude.  You are way over-interpreting an innocent comment.
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  • Frannavaldez9399Frannavaldez9399 member
    nikkiemyall said:
    Nicb13 said:
    CiderWench said:
    Nicb13 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
    My husband and I found out this weekend what we were having. From the VERY beginning I swore up and down it was a girl until the last 2 weeks. I just didn't feel like it was anymore. Of course we found out we're expecting a cute little baby BOY! We're both SUPER estatic!

    The thing I'm coming across now that we've announced we're having a boy is that friends are asking me if I'm excited.

    I'm sorry?? No excitement left the building when they said it was a boy.

    Ughhhh! My response to one person was OF COURSE I'm excited. As long as baby is healthy, pees, and poops I'm happy. Doesn't matter what gender baby is.
    How is it weird to ask if you are excited? It's a pretty typical question that pregnant people get just like "how are you feeling?". Not sure why that's so terrible?
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.

    The bolded is just ridiculous. The glass is half empty mentality I suppose.

    Ok so you had someone ask in a way that implied something else but surely the simple question "are you excited?" is not a "rude" question across the boards. It's such a simple thing to ask and even if it's annoying, I doubt most people who ask it, intend for it to come across as rude. I think some people just try to find something negative when that might not be the case at all. 

    I'm not sure you understood the whole point of my post. It came off RUDE because everyone knew that I thought it was a girl. So when we found out we were having a boy to ask IF you're excited it's a boy... RUDE! It shouldn't matter what we're having to make me excited. I cried either way.

    OP, you realize they probably asked you this question because for months you walked around telling people you just KNEW it was a girl, right? You probably had a huge smile on your face and you were probably all giddy. Then to be shut down and told abruptly that it's a boy... Was a shock. Even if you don't admit it. So now you have to smile and tell people you were wrong, and oh.. It's just so funny.. I just KNEW it was a girl.. And smile through it. So yea. If I worked with you every day, and saw you excited over having a baby.. And googling glitter and pink tutu's, then you told me it was a boy.... I'd ask how you felt about it. Side note: I knew for a fact I was having a girl. Knew it. Almost bought pink stuff. Even sitting there in the US room I made the tech show me the penis several times because I didn't believe it. And I'm not ashamed to admit it, I cried and thanked The Lord that it was a boy. I don't know how I would have felt with a girl. After all my losses, I'm sure I would have been thrilled... But I prayed for a boy for years.
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  • nikkiemyallnikkiemyall member
    Frannavaldez9399 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
    Nicb13 said:
    CiderWench said:
    Nicb13 said:
    nikkiemyall said:
    My husband and I found out this weekend what we were having. From the VERY beginning I swore up and down it was a girl until the last 2 weeks. I just didn't feel like it was anymore. Of course we found out we're expecting a cute little baby BOY! We're both SUPER estatic!

    The thing I'm coming across now that we've announced we're having a boy is that friends are asking me if I'm excited.

    I'm sorry?? No excitement left the building when they said it was a boy.

    Ughhhh! My response to one person was OF COURSE I'm excited. As long as baby is healthy, pees, and poops I'm happy. Doesn't matter what gender baby is.
    How is it weird to ask if you are excited? It's a pretty typical question that pregnant people get just like "how are you feeling?". Not sure why that's so terrible?
    It's not terrible, but it sure is annoying as hell and, I think, somewhat rude. It implies that maybe you shouldn't be excited for some reason. When we found out we were having our third girl everyone in my husband's family was asking if he was excited about another girl. And it was definitely implied that surely he would have preferred a boy instead. My oldest daughter talked to me afterwards and said those comments made her feel like there was something wrong about my husband having more girls than boys, and asked if he is disappointed by it. I hate the assumption that men want boys and women want girls, and that we're somehow dissatisfied if it ends up being the other.

    The bolded is just ridiculous. The glass is half empty mentality I suppose.

    Ok so you had someone ask in a way that implied something else but surely the simple question "are you excited?" is not a "rude" question across the boards. It's such a simple thing to ask and even if it's annoying, I doubt most people who ask it, intend for it to come across as rude. I think some people just try to find something negative when that might not be the case at all. 

    I'm not sure you understood the whole point of my post. It came off RUDE because everyone knew that I thought it was a girl. So when we found out we were having a boy to ask IF you're excited it's a boy... RUDE! It shouldn't matter what we're having to make me excited. I cried either way.

    OP, you realize they probably asked you this question because for months you walked around telling people you just KNEW it was a girl, right? You probably had a huge smile on your face and you were probably all giddy. Then to be shut down and told abruptly that it's a boy... Was a shock. Even if you don't admit it. So now you have to smile and tell people you were wrong, and oh.. It's just so funny.. I just KNEW it was a girl.. And smile through it. So yea. If I worked with you every day, and saw you excited over having a baby.. And googling glitter and pink tutu's, then you told me it was a boy.... I'd ask how you felt about it. Side note: I knew for a fact I was having a girl. Knew it. Almost bought pink stuff. Even sitting there in the US room I made the tech show me the penis several times because I didn't believe it. And I'm not ashamed to admit it, I cried and thanked The Lord that it was a boy. I don't know how I would have felt with a girl. After all my losses, I'm sure I would have been thrilled... But I prayed for a boy for years.
    Actually you're WRONG. I did not "walk around" telling people it was a girl; people asked if I thought what it was and I said girl. Deep down I REALLY wanted a girl, but when they told me it was a boy at my US I cried in EXCITEMENT. I don't care. And when they said it was a boy I did not question it unfortunately like YOU did. I said, "There's my baby boy!" Boy or girl I was excited either way as I am blessed to even be pregnant. And I as well lost prior to this pregnancy so either way I did NOT care; as long as baby is healthy I'm happy. And people should KNOW that just because that you strongly feel one way there is ALWAYS a good chance it might not work that way. I wasn't looking at tutu's or glitter.. I waited until after I found out to find tractors and trucks nor did I walk around work BOASTING it was going to be a girl. You misinterpreted this.
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  • SuperCerealSuperCereal member
    I don't think it's rude to ask a pregnant woman if she is excited. As PP said, it's a conversation starter. Plus, not everyone is excited. Some are scared or nervous.

    But, I have a story. When DH and I started TTC, I went to the local Wal Mart to get some pregnancy tests. I look young for my age, so when I got to the cashier with my tests, the cashier takes one look at me and says "Well, if you would have used protection you wouldn't have to worry about this, would you?" 

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  • MizooMizoo member
    SuperCereal said:
    I don't think it's rude to ask a pregnant woman if she is excited. As PP said, it's a conversation starter. Plus, not everyone is excited. Some are scared or nervous.

    But, I have a story. When DH and I started TTC, I went to the local Wal Mart to get some pregnancy tests. I look young for my age, so when I got to the cashier with my tests, the cashier takes one look at me and says "Well, if you would have used protection you wouldn't have to worry about this, would you?" 

    image
    Whoa.  How did you respond? That is so ridiculously rude and uncalled for!
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  • SuperCerealSuperCereal member
    Mizoo said:
    SuperCereal said:
    I don't think it's rude to ask a pregnant woman if she is excited. As PP said, it's a conversation starter. Plus, not everyone is excited. Some are scared or nervous.

    But, I have a story. When DH and I started TTC, I went to the local Wal Mart to get some pregnancy tests. I look young for my age, so when I got to the cashier with my tests, the cashier takes one look at me and says "Well, if you would have used protection you wouldn't have to worry about this, would you?" 

    image
    Whoa.  How did you respond? That is so ridiculously rude and uncalled for!
    I wanted to punch her in the face for making the assumption but all I could do was side eye her, quickly pay for my stuff and leave.
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  • MizooMizoo member
    SuperCereal said:
    Mizoo said:
    SuperCereal said:
    I don't think it's rude to ask a pregnant woman if she is excited. As PP said, it's a conversation starter. Plus, not everyone is excited. Some are scared or nervous.

    But, I have a story. When DH and I started TTC, I went to the local Wal Mart to get some pregnancy tests. I look young for my age, so when I got to the cashier with my tests, the cashier takes one look at me and says "Well, if you would have used protection you wouldn't have to worry about this, would you?" 

    image
    Whoa.  How did you respond? That is so ridiculously rude and uncalled for!
    I wanted to punch her in the face for making the assumption but all I could do was side eye her, quickly pay for my stuff and leave.
    You have some seriously admirable self control!
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  • SuperCerealSuperCereal member
    Mizoo said:
    SuperCereal said:
    Mizoo said:
    SuperCereal said:
    I don't think it's rude to ask a pregnant woman if she is excited. As PP said, it's a conversation starter. Plus, not everyone is excited. Some are scared or nervous.

    But, I have a story. When DH and I started TTC, I went to the local Wal Mart to get some pregnancy tests. I look young for my age, so when I got to the cashier with my tests, the cashier takes one look at me and says "Well, if you would have used protection you wouldn't have to worry about this, would you?" 

    image
    Whoa.  How did you respond? That is so ridiculously rude and uncalled for!
    I wanted to punch her in the face for making the assumption but all I could do was side eye her, quickly pay for my stuff and leave.
    You have some seriously admirable self control!
    Thank you. It took everything in me not to rip her a new one, though. 
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  • SuperCerealSuperCereal member
    AudeSapere89 said:
    Mizoo said:
    SuperCereal said:
    Mizoo said:
    SuperCereal said:
    I don't think it's rude to ask a pregnant woman if she is excited. As PP said, it's a conversation starter. Plus, not everyone is excited. Some are scared or nervous.

    But, I have a story. When DH and I started TTC, I went to the local Wal Mart to get some pregnancy tests. I look young for my age, so when I got to the cashier with my tests, the cashier takes one look at me and says "Well, if you would have used protection you wouldn't have to worry about this, would you?" 

    image
    Whoa.  How did you respond? That is so ridiculously rude and uncalled for!
    I wanted to punch her in the face for making the assumption but all I could do was side eye her, quickly pay for my stuff and leave.
    You have some seriously admirable self control!
    Thank you. It took everything in me not to rip her a new one, though. 
    -------------------------------------------- Dude, I would have went to customer service or pulled a manager aside. Not cool. I seriously admire you for not lowering yourself to her level and ripping her a new asshole. =D> :-SS
    I know. I wanted to so bad. Funny thing is, I haven't seen her up there in a few months. Maybe she finally said something to the wrong person  ;;)
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  • MneraniMnerani member
    I appreciate any and all interest and support from other people when I'm pregnant. There are only so many questions/ conversation starters during pregnancy. I ask my pregnant friends "how are you feeling?" EVERY time I talk to them and think it's kind when people ask me the same. "Are you excited?" is a totally normal question and it's just a way to open a conversation for you to talk about what you're excited about ("I can't wait to buy boy bedding!") and what you're not excited about ("With my first baby, I didn't sleep for a year!") Just normal convo.

    Anything said/ asked with kind intention and genuine interest should be taken as such. The rest is just noise- let it roll off your back. If it's repetitive, address it.
    DH and I are Americans living an adventure in Kenya since 2011
    DX: PCOS (annovulatory)
    Feb 2012: IUI #1 w/ only 1M sperm and a single follie = BFP! 
    Nov 2012: Little buddy born in Kenya
    Nov 2013: Trying for a second, still w PCOS
    Dec 2013: IUI cycle canceled for non-response
    Jan 2014: Break cycle BFP!

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  • ndpatinndpatin member

    I totally feel you! I have had some of the most awkward questions & responses from people, I am super sensitive lately, and I've had a hard pregnancy so far so I would be offended by that also. Its all in the way people say it and who they are to you, and only you know if a response or question is sufficent enough to be taken as "rude" or not and you can feel any way you want! You can immediately tell who is happy for you, who is being nosey and who is unhappy and want to affect you.

    I do not know the sex of my baby yet, we find out in a few weeks and I'm so thrilled either way. HONESTLY! I am asked "What gender do you want?" I say "I do not have a preference" but they are not convinced and they press me, as if I need to convince them. Now I simply say "a baby" and leave it as that.

    Because either way, BOY or GIRL it is a tremendous blessing. As if the outcome is the gender you didnt "want" only opens you up for more critisism from people. Its out of your control and theirs. People need to watch what they say.

    Last week my hairstylist told me she didnt like the name we choose for GIRL, I said "Well, its not your baby"

    Feel better, best wishes to you!

    NL

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  • ndpatinndpatin member
    egh didnt work
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  • aearish88aearish88 member
    I have a little boy, so naturally was like "it would be so nice having a little girl this time to put in bows and dresses!" ... did I REALLY care?! no!! But when we found out we were having another boy, I often got the question "so.... how do you feel about it? Are you sad you aren't going to get that girl?"  Like - STOP! My love for my child will be no different whether they are wearing dresses or little bow ties. 
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