daycare situation

Re: daycare situation

• shakinros member

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  Well I'm no help. DD was comfortable at her new daycare after 5 weeks. I'm still not happy with it but we're leaving her there so she doesn't have to go through another transition. I wish I'd switched her earlier when I first felt like it was not a great choice.
  
  Ask your H if he can give more specifics. Has he observed an interaction that made him uncomfortable? Is your LO not getting something he thinks she should be?
  
  If it's just a personality difference and your LO is happy, then that may have to be enough for him.

   

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• mmcdouga member

  April 2014

  I don't have a lot of experience with this. Is there a specific thing your husband is uncomfortable with? Does your child seem happy to go to the daycare or does she get upset? It takes time with new people, but trust your gut is something seems off.

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• mlee116 member

  April 2014

  
  

  kimberlybethh said:

  Our current provider has a very different personality than our last provider. I think he is bothered by the fact she is a lot more reserved and not open and bubbly like our last daycare. He is also concerned that dd isn't being "nurtured" enough.

  I'd like more details about what you said here about her personality.  "Reserved and not open and bubbly" could be interpreted a couple of different ways IMO.  Is she more quiet, but still affectionate and friendly with the kids or is she cold and impersonal?  I'm also curious to know if your H saw something specific that made him uncomfortable.

  
  

  If she's just quiet but still friendly, I'd be totally fine with that. Some people just aren't bubbly and high energy.  But its important to me for DS to be in a loving and caring environment, so I wouldn't be ok with the second description.  I agree with PP's that relationships do take time to build, but its also important to follow your gut feeling. 

  

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• GreenMonkey1 member

  April 2014

  When we switched from the Infant II to the Toddler room DH had some similar complaints/ comments about the new teacher.  I find DH has a harder time with the transitions than I do, so I just try to keep open communication with him about what he doesn't like.  Usually after a couple of weeks when DS has settled in to the new room I find DH has settled in too.  

  
  

  In addition, you have a childcare teacher interacting with your LO at a different age.  Your DH saw the earlier childcare provider when LO was a baby - lots of cuddles and hugs.  Toddler age is a different relationship - there is still the nurturing environment, but the relationship is different between teacher/child because the child is way more independent than at the infant stage (imho).  My MIL and Mom are two totally different people - MIL is in your face bubbly and Mom is more balanced, both are loving and nurturing with DS.  Different strokes.  I agree with PPs to talk to your DH about what it is that makes him uncomfortable (has he seen DC yell at LO?) and to trust your gut, but that relationships do take time to develop.

  
  

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• djm31012 member

  April 2014

  DS was very comfortable and happy at day care for the first 4 mos. Then they switched teachers on him and i noticed that he wasnt as happy. I also felt very uncomfortable every day bringing him there and pushed to have him moved to a new room. I wanted to try a new room/teacher before moving centers. It took about 2 mos and every day he and i were both so unhappy--he never got used to her and I never started to feel better about the situation either. He was moved in mid march and is now SO happy so I know it was the teacher and not the center. That definitely makes a difference. Go with your gut like i did. If you and your H feel uncomfortable...make a change.

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• kimberlybethh member

  April 2014

  Thanks for the input so far. To answer a few questions, dh has not seen any interactions that would be cause for concern. Our daycare provider is quiet but she is friendly. On the visits I went on prior to enrolling her all the kids seemed to like her and I thought she did a good job interacting with them.

  Since dd can't communicate that well right now it is hard to tell if she really likes being there. Some days she is ready for me to pick her up and other days she has thrown a tantrum because she doesn't want to leave.

  I think part of the issue is that our last provider genuinely loved dd and became almost like an extended member of our family. Maybe I'm being unrealistic and naïve but I guess that is what I was looking for when we switched daycares. I realize that when have to switch her to a center for pre-school we won't get that but I was hoping for something like that when she was smaller.

  I did look at another in-home provider that I also really liked. She did remind me a little more of our last provider but she could not take dd until October. I thought at the time that would be a lot of transitions with the new baby and new daycare so I went with this one instead. Maybe I will give her a call if dh still doesn't feel comfortable in another month. Thanks again for your responses. It is helpful to get different perspectives!

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• emberlee3 member

  April 2014

  I agree that your LO is at a really hard age to assess how she likes the new school.  I think the only way to know more would be to visit your DD at daycare at different times of day.  It's tough in an in-home situation.  I love that DD's classroom has glass doors, so I can often sneak a peak and see what she is doing before she sees me. 
  

  DS born 8/8/09 and DD born 6/12/12.
  

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• molisar member

  April 2014

  I think the tantrum because she doesn't want to leave is a good sign!  I think if there were concerning issues with your caregiver and how your DD is cared for, there would be fairly good signs that your DD is giving (screams when you drop her off, very needy when you pick her up, etc.)

  
  

  
  A Boy's Room

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