Vacation and checking in

rosesandpetals · April 2014

We were just going over vacation plans with MIL, she was under the impression we'd be calling every night to say good-night. I was planning to call a couple times during the week. MIL has all our contact info in case there's an emergency. It's not like DD is old enough to talk on the phone yet, anyway. No one has the ability to make me feel like a negligent parent quite like MIL. Now I feel guilty.

When you go out of town, how often do you call to check in on your kids? Is MIL being crazy?

If it matters, we are going for 7 nights but DD will be with my ILs for 9 nights (night before and night after because of flight schedules).

Andrewsgal · April 2014

I call every other day. We are always out of the country so that is expensive enough.

id012 · April 2014

I call probably everyday just to check up. If we are just gone for like the night or something i dont call. Idno it just depends on how i feel

joyfullyfound · April 2014

Now that DD is old enough to talk with me on the phone, I'd call every night or every second night to say hi to her. But if my LO was too little to talk on the phone, I'd just call a couple of times during the week to make sure things were going well.

LoriLee14 · April 2014

When he was little I would have my mom call after she got him in bed.

My husband and neighbor will send me pictures

chardonnay24 · April 2014

I would probably call to say goodnight every night, but my kid is 3 and can talk to us on the phone. Otherwise, I'd call once a day to check in.

dizzycooks · April 2014

Maybe once a day or very other day if we were gone for several days. Idk, if mil was willing to take my kids and wanted me to call daily, I'd call daily.

rosesandpetals · April 2014

Now I'm worried that I should call more... I was just thinking, if something serious happens she can call us. If not, then there isn't really a lot to check on. If she's not sleeping well, there's not a lot I can do about that from another country. I would probably just worry about it to no end.

If we do call more, MIL will annoy me because that's what she does. But maybe I'm being irresponsible and should make sure DD is okay more often.

I could make DH call.

Am I over thinking this?

rosesandpetals · April 2014

dizzykates said:

Maybe once a day or very other day if we were gone for several days. Idk, if mil was willing to take my kids and wanted me to call daily, I'd call daily.

She doesn't *want* me to call, per se. She was just "surprised" (read: judging) that I didn't want to talk to DD every night. Well, talk at DD since she doesn't know how to have a conversation yet.

AimeeL85 · April 2014

How old is your DD?

Keeptruckin · April 2014

I call every day, sometimes twice. DD is older and likes to talk to us. When she was younger I would call once in the morning and once at night.

rosesandpetals · April 2014

AimeeL85 said:

How old is your DD?

She'll be 15 months when we leave.

Lindsay9911 · April 2014

Um she would think I'm the worst mom ever. I text my mom to check on them but I never called to talk to them! I feel like that would upset them. Don't feel bad at all! Enjoy your vacation!

jillyjill1026sr · April 2014

We were gone for 6 days, 5 nights. We Face Timed every night about an hour prior to DD's bedtime. I texted my MIL each morning just to check in, but we never talked on the phone during that entire time.

zbeesma86 · April 2014

I know with Z if I called and tried to talk to her everyday she'd flip out and miss me more and cry every time I had to get off the phone.

I may call everyday and just talk to MIL and ask about their day and make sure all is well. Or at least text and ask for a breakdown of the day. And talk to DD every other day? I think it's a personal preference.

Do you have iPhones? Maybe facetime? (unless that would make DD cry and want you).

Don't let her make you feel guilty- go and enjoy your vacay!

rosesandpetals · April 2014

hls19 said:

I know with Z if I called and tried to talk to her everyday she'd flip out and miss me more and cry every time I had to get off the phone.

I may call everyday and just talk to MIL and ask about their day and make sure all is well. Or at least text and ask for a breakdown of the day. And talk to DD every other day? I think it's a personal preference.

Do you have iPhones? Maybe facetime? (unless that would make DD cry and want you).

Don't let her make you feel guilty- go and enjoy your vacay!

Our phones won't work where we're going. We could buy an international cellphone, or I think Verizon has a program where they lend you one for the trip, but we weren't planning on getting one and just using the phone in the room to check in. I do think MIL telling her "Mommy's on the phone!" would just confuse her and make her upset.

Thanks everyone. I'll have to think about it and maybe get a cellphone or something.

stacymills99 · April 2014

We usually cruise when we are gone so calling is expensive. We like to e-mail each day and then call a couple times during the week. I loved getting the daily e-mail with pics of the kids and then we would send an e-mail to let them know how our day went. Plus and internet cafe is usually cheaper than international calling!

notkateanymore · April 2014

I call every day,she calls when she wants.

NHbride129 · April 2014

I would text throughout the day and ask for pictures. Probably not call at all unless the kid was able to talk on phone and wanted to.

dmurrie · April 2014

Usually every 2-3 days or so... but after the last time MIL watched DD, it will be more frequently. Last time, she proudly told us that she had given DD benedryl because she seemed itchy... then proceeded to tell us that because it wasn't written on the bottle, she just gave DD the same amount as her normal medicine... which is not the sameedication... without asking anyone. She could have overdosed and killed our child! She would have slipped off into dreamland and never woken up. Scares the c*** out of me. I never imagined she'd be that thoughtless. Needless to say, my trust level has dropped considerably since then. If/when they watch her again, we'll be calling every day.

rosesandpetals · April 2014

dmurrie said:

Usually every 2-3 days or so... but after the last time MIL watched DD, it will be more frequently. Last time, she proudly told us that she had given DD benedryl because she seemed itchy... then proceeded to tell us that because it wasn't written on the bottle, she just gave DD the same amount as her normal medicine... which is not the sameedication... without asking anyone. She could have overdosed and killed our child! She would have slipped off into dreamland and never woken up. Scares the c*** out of me. I never imagined she'd be that thoughtless. Needless to say, my trust level has dropped considerably since then. If/when they watch her again, we'll be calling every day.

That is so scary! I don't think I could leave her with that person again. I'm fortunate that my MIL is a nurse so she knows better than that (other issues, not so much).

dmurrie · April 2014

DH talked to her about it because I was livid enough to know I should leave the room before I said what was on my mind. When I came back in, she was crying. She had the pediatricians number and she never tried to call him or us.

So, I like to pack basic medicine for my daughter if we are out of town for a couple of days in case she needs it (Tylenol, and the benadryl was packed because she has some food allergies... she also has an epi-pen along for the ride), but I would recommend you establish a rule for any caregivers to call you or if you can't be reached, the pediatrician, before administering anything to your child. There's no telling what someone might do. Besides, I want to know ify kid is sick!

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