Talk to me about starting daycare

acbfreire · April 2014

DD is 22 months, she is shy and cautious around strangers. She has always had stranger and separation anxiety. I have mostly SAH with her but I may need to go back to work FT.
Right now I bring her to work with me (I work in the child center of a gym) and she still cries a lot when I leave and is hard to console. She stays no longer than 2 1/2 hours there. Granted, it is not a day care facility, so there is no structure (monitored free play). Sometimes she cries for a good 45 min.
I am afraid of putting her in FT day care and how she will adapt. I had a friend suggest at home day care instead of a large center. Please share your experiences!

smileybabyboy · April 2014

I agree, with the home daycare. There are less children (even though they are all ages) but I feel like the kids get more attention. She might feel less intimidated in a smaller group. Being away from you in a new setting with new people might help her to open up and become less shy. She will probably start enjoying playing with new toys and playing with the other kids. I think daycare is great for kids personally. It will be rough in the beginning, but DS for example, stopped crying at drop off after maybe 2 or 3 weeks.

=Lee=B · April 2014

I run a home daycare. I can honestly say that children do much better with full time care than part time or sporadic care. They quickly learn the routine, get used to the other kids and teacher and just get comfortable so much faster. Just because she has had trouble with short stays in the gym daycare doesn't mean she will in full time care.

Some children do better with a slow start with mom there with them for a bit before leaving. Other kids need mom to drop them at the door and go. Figure out what is best for your child to help them settle in. Remember that what is best for her is not always what you want to be best or what is best for you :-)

Set her up for success before she starts. Children that sleep well transition into care much easier...get good nap routine going that is easy to do in a group setting (a child that is rocked until fully asleep then carefully transferred to crib has a tougher time than the child that has self soothing skills and goes in the crib awake). My goal here with any new child is to keep their bellies full, keep the rested and keep the transitions to a minimum until they are settled in.

Also, know that even the child that has a really long, difficult time transitioning into care can full settle and do great. Right now my most difficult child to transition (she's 16months) is one of my most easy going happy kids. She knows all the routines and is always one step ahead of me. When snack is about to start she gets herself into her chair and tries to do her buckle, rolls up her sleeves and waits for her food. It took time but she has come such a long ways and she is truly thriving. In those early weeks you wouldn't think it would be possible for her :-)

There are pros and cons to both center versus home care so you need to decide what is best for you and your child.

acbfreire · April 2014

=Lee=B said:

I run a home daycare. I can honestly say that children do much better with full time care than part time or sporadic care. They quickly learn the routine, get used to the other kids and teacher and just get comfortable so much faster. Just because she has had trouble with short stays in the gym daycare doesn't mean she will in full time care.
Some children do better with a slow start with mom there with them for a bit before leaving. Other kids need mom to drop them at the door and go. Figure out what is best for your child to help them settle in. Remember that what is best for her is not always what you want to be best or what is best for you :-)
Set her up for success before she starts. Children that sleep well transition into care much easier...get good nap routine going that is easy to do in a group setting (a child that is rocked until fully asleep then carefully transferred to crib has a tougher time than the child that has self soothing skills and goes in the crib awake). My goal here with any new child is to keep their bellies full, keep the rested and keep the transitions to a minimum until they are settled in.
Also, know that even the child that has a really long, difficult time transitioning into care can full settle and do great. Right now my most difficult child to transition (she's 16months) is one of my most easy going happy kids. She knows all the routines and is always one step ahead of me. When snack is about to start she gets herself into her chair and tries to do her buckle, rolls up her sleeves and waits for her food. It took time but she has come such a long ways and she is truly thriving. In those early weeks you wouldn't think it would be possible for her :-)
There are pros and cons to both center versus home care so you need to decide what is best for you and your child.

As a provider, what questions would you recommend I ask when I am looking for at home centers? What should I look for in terms of safety, licensing, etc?

mb314 · April 2014

DS has been in an in-home daycare since he was 4 months old, so that was a different type of transition (harder on me than on him). However, the daycare closes for two, one-week periods for breaks each year, and I have to find alternate care. DS loves his full time daycare, but he is skeptical of strangers and freaks out if I try to drop him off at the Y daycare or at friends houses for playdates.

I was REALLY nervous when I had to send him to another woman's house for a week when his main daycare closed for break. I really fretted over it. And of course, when I brought him in to the substitute daycare, he clung to me, and he freaked out when I left. I could still hear him screaming when I was inside my car and he was inside the house, and I started to cry. However, within 20 minutes the first day, he had stopped crying, and he had a lot of fun playing with the other kids the rest of the day. The second day, he only cried for about 10 minutes, and by the 3rd day, he cried for less than a minute.

I guess my point is, the first week or so may be rough on you and DD, but she will get used to it, and will probably begin to really enjoy it. I would start by going to the daycare and spending some time with her there so she can get used to the environment with the security of you being there too. when it comes time to drop her off for a day, don't linger too long after the first day or two - that only makes it worse on her and the daycare workers.

In terms of what to look for in an in-home daycare, here are my suggestions:
- what is the caregiver/child ratio?
- What are the ages of the kids? Your DD may do better if there is at least one other kid around her age to play with
- Does the daycare have planned closure days?
- Is there a backup suggestion if the provider is sick or otherwise unable to care for the children one day (this is the biggest disadvantage, IMO, of an in-home situation. If the caregiver gets sick or needs to take some time off, you are stuck without childcare).

Good luck!

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