Being wrote off

jag101 · April 2014

Have you ever been wrote off in someone's life that you were close to? Was it your choice or theirs? If it was something you could have fixed, would you or are you better for it now?

caybeh · April 2014

Yeah, my aunt. Well, she wrote off my mom. I don't really communicate with the aunt anymore and neither do my siblings. It's a long story, and sad. Someday, I hope the relationship is restored.

I don't think I've written anyone off other than my aunt. There are friends that I've lost touch with, but more so because life just happens.

nonoemily · April 2014

I have cut people out of my life, but mostly I just limit my contact and maintain a much cooler relationship.

Recently I ended my close relationship with my mom. It's too much to describe here, but she's really allowing herself to become an awful person in order to avoid her true feelings. I still let her see DS once a week, but we don't talk to each other anymore, except to arrange play dates.

I had a good friend in my early twenties who is also becoming someone I can't stand. I'm not going to defriend her or tell her off, but I also won't be calling her or making any effort to stay friends. I changed my number recently and didn't bother to update her. I don't think she really cares.

I've also had people push me away and it hurts. It sucks when someone knows you really well and doesn't want anything to do with you. Sometimes I knew why, sometimes I didn't.

AimeeL85 · April 2014

My family doesn't speak with my uncle and his wife anymore - they became crazy, shady people, especially my aunt. Way too much to explain, but we haven't talked to them in years. I am still friendly with my 2 cousins on FB though.

Funny anecdote about them that I always remember when I think of them. This was in my aunt's less crazy days. When I was a kid, we were invited to my cousin's birthday party. My aunt asked my mom if she wouldn't mind making the cake, and my mom happily agreed. A few days before the party, my aunt called my mom to say the party had gotten too big and they had decided they were going to make it just neighbors....but would my mom mind still making the cake and dropping it off?

rosesandpetals · April 2014

Yes. I have completely ended contact with some family members. With some distant family (uncle and aunt) it was not something I could fix, I got tired of the way they spoke to and about me and I decided I didn't want my daughter growing up around people who thought it was okay to treat her mother that way.

My brother did something awful and I am honestly embarrassed every time someone I know mentions it or talks about it (It was in the local papers where we grew up). I can tell you if you want to know but it was terrible.

The stories about my parents sound like something you read about in a paper. We haven't had contact for years, several years before I was pregnant with DD.

My life is much better off without these people in it. I am very close with one of my sisters and my aunt, who basically raised me, and they rarely contact my parents and brothers, too.

foodieforlife · April 2014

I had a friend totally cut me off about 5 years ago. we had been close friends since we were in grade school, went all the way thru high school and kept in touch during college. 3 of us were joined at the hip for 15+ years. anyway, she joined the military and was deployed for 18 months as a clerical assistant in the navy. never seeing or going near combat. when she returned, she, myself and our other close friend went on a girls weekend. the ex-friend got very intoxicated and proceeded to tell my friend and I how she always loathed us,hated our families, hated us and despised us. She called us names called us pathetic and that she no longer could be seen with such pathetic people. she locked us out of the hotel room and invited her navy buddies to come up for the night. they were several hours away. my friend and i had to eventually barge in to the room, grab our things and leave. we haven't spoken since and she never reached out to either of us.
keeping in mind this story has many levels and history. this exfriend was also taken in by our families for vacations and we even hosted a sweet 16 for her, bought her a class ring and even bought her prom dress as her family was not very well off. we attended private school and our parents even helped pay her tuition and books so she could stay with us in school.

sigh. it's something i don't think i'll ever get over. we've reached out to her family and they just don't answer us. our ex-friend moved away, and returned to the area to get married. we were not invited. she since then has moved to chicago with her husband and is on facebook but will not answer our messages or phone calls. we try every holiday.

rachie1019 · April 2014

auroraloo said:
Nope. I'm always the one cut off. I must suck as a person.

Aww just the little I know of you from here, that can't be true. You seem awesome!

Rink08 · April 2014

I've had both situations. I'm certain that a therapist would point to my early childhood as the reason but I have a very low tolerance for people who screw me over in any way and easily write people off. My biological family, members of DH's family, and former friends come to mind.

My best friend (from ages 4-25/26) wrote me off recently. (I wrote about it here at some point.) and while it initially stung because it seemed out of nowhere, I've moved on. We grew up in a small rural area (technically a village not even a town) and our families are very intertwined so I'm sure that we'll see each other, be friendly, and go our separate ways frequently for holidays, weddings, etc.

rockyrollgirl · April 2014

scatteredtrees said:

As much as I enjoy a good shit show on here, I hate drama IRL and have zero tolerance for it. It's been a couple years but does anyone remember my story about the crazy alcoholic family friend who made that birthday cake for Jack and then berated me via text for not bringing it home from my parents' house? I dropped that crazy bitch like a bad habit.

If people become life suckers and just emotionally exhaust me, I start to pull away. I was dropped by someone but honestly she and I were really only friends because our H's worked together. We weren't really invested.

Agree with life suckers, I have pulled away from a couple people like that.

An ex-boyfriend. No desire to talk to him again.

And just recently another person who did something pretty shitty and just turned out to be a pretty shitty person in general.

rachie1019 · April 2014

Yes! I am still coping. My BFF of 8 years (we met at my old job) and I were SO super close. We finished eachother's sentences. At our wine nights we would sit on the same couch cushion. We were like sisters! We stayed closed when I had DS, because I still worked with her. We still went to lunch and shopping on our lunch breaks. She came over for wine almost every weekend. Then I became a SAHM and got pregnant with DD1. We started to drift apart. She was married (I was a bridesmaid) but didn't think she ever wanted kids. Ever!! I was ok with that, but she pulled away from me since I was "all Mom" and she wasn't in that mode. I saw her a month before I had DD1 but never since, so 2 years ago next month. She knew I had DD! I text her about how she was in the NICU but I wanted her to meet her at my house ASAP. I never heard from her again. Her last text to me was when DD was 12 hours old.

Fast forward! SHE is now pregnant. Found out via FB spying (not me, my Mom haha! I deactivated my account a year ago). I think of her every.single.day. To the point where I finally sent her an email a couple of weeks ago. It was very heartfelt! No blaming or anything. Never heard back. I pray for my "people" every night (health and happiness) and she is one of them. She is also in my dreams on average 2 nights a week. We never had any closure!! I am heartbroken.

So, thank you for letting ME vent. That was therapeutic. I don't have any advice for others in this spot, obviously. But hope to get some advice myself. I told my Mom it's to the point where I need therapy. LOL! She is still in my heart and I hold on to hope that we will reconnect one day...

Disneygeek77 · April 2014

I wouldn't say I cut off a former friend. More like we grew apart. We were very close in high school, college and we were even bridesmaids in each others weddings. However, as we both grew up, I realized I didn't enjoy her company. It was exhausting to have a conversation with her and she is also easily offended and I just felt like I had to walk on eggshells whenever I was around her.

notkateanymore · April 2014

I just somebody out of my life because her husband made me feel uncomfortable. I think she was cutting me out too though, so I don't feel bad.

AprilLVE · April 2014

I pulled away from a friend a couple years ago. We had been good friends, "partners in crime" type girlfriends. She is a person that seeks out drama. Everything in her life can be going well, and it's like she can't stand it and has to self sabotage. Anyway, it became exhausting and I just pulled back little by little and here we are a couple years later and I didn't invite her to my wedding and have never met one of her two children. The bad thing is, I don't even really miss her our feel bad about it.

zbeesma86 · April 2014

Yes. I've cut off 2 friends. Best buds all 3 of us since middles school. One of them slept with my ex 3 days after we broke up- 8 year relationship. The other friend just wouldn't meet me in the middle. I'd call & call & text and never get answers or responses. One day she called & acted like no big deal & I just realized we grew apart & haven't looked back.

Keeptruckin · April 2014

Yes, one of my closer friends from high school. She made hurtful comments about our trying to start a family. She told me whenever she was down on herself she remembered I couldn't even have a family on my own so she instantly felt better. I may have said something like every time it take DH for granted I remember how many times hers has cheated and I feel better. Not my best moment but endless to say we are not friends any longer.

catycate · April 2014

My mother and I just cut off my aunt. Her drinking has just pickled her brain and she's been doing crazier, meaner things that ended with her spreading my grandmothers ashes without telling us or splitting them up, then lying about it for 4 months. As a result the cousins have cut themselves off. I'm sad but I don't need people like that in my life. And she was just getting worse. I've also been the one written off- I did something to piss off a close girlfriend, and it was like a switch flipped and she never spoke to me again. I'm still in shock about it- it's a long story but I had no idea she would never speak to me again when I did what I did and I still don't think it was that offensive. I wish I could reach out to her but she's made it clear to a mutual friend that she wants no contact.

raraavis28 · April 2014

I've grown apart naturally from many friends over the years, but there are a few that either stopped talking to me over something stupid, or I purposely distanced myself from (like a friend that slept w/ an ex-bf when we were still dating, or a old guy "friend" that said some terrible things to DH once). I had one very close friend who was almost like a younger brother to me...he ended up dropping me completely b/c I told him it probably wasn't a good idea to get married at age 19 to a girl he had only dated long-distance for a few months. They ended up getting divorced within 6 months and he dropped out of school and moved far away. I guess he's got his own business now and is pretty successful, but he seems like a very angry person.....always posting very hateful angry rants on FB....not like the sweet kid I remembered.

CiderWench · April 2014

I've never been written off by close friends or family but my husband has. He had a conservative Christian friend who ended their friendship when my husband came out as an atheist. They had been friends since the seventh grade, and my husband had been his best man at his wedding. If I remember correctly, they were around 34-years old when the friendship broke apart.

chelseymat · April 2014

Well, my brother doesn't speak to me at all. I don't even have a phone number, email, or address for him. He also doesn't speak to any of our other family members. I believe it is because he doesn't want my mom to know anything about him but I've never heard a reason from him. When we were in high school we were literally best friends so I was crushed for quite some time. He didn't come to my wedding and has never met my kids….I don't even know if he knows they exist. It doesn't bother me so much anymore. Its been 8 years….its almost like he died.

I have chosen to write off the majority of my extended family for various reasons. They are all very vindictive liars. They will tell you the sky is green and they are so crazy and manipulative they can make you start to think there must be something wrong with your eyes. Also, my grandfather had an affair with my uncle's (his own son) wife for a long time. My cousins could be my aunts and uncles. Theres more Jerry Springer type shit but I'll spare you guys... DH and his family have really showed me how a "normal" family acts and I don't want mine around my kids or to know anything about me. I have no tolerance for BS anymore.

minerswife17 · April 2014

Yeah my, well who I thought was my BFF, that I still never heard anything from since my sisters funeral. I have tried reaching out to her and nada.

rachie1019 · April 2014

Luckey4 said:
Yeah my, well who I thought was my BFF, that I still never heard anything from since my sisters funeral. I have tried reaching out to her and nada.

Oh that is so awful. Then she is not even worth your time. I am so very sorry to hear about your sister. My goodness!

AimeeL85 · April 2014

Luckey4 said:

Yeah my, well who I thought was my BFF, that I still never heard anything from since my sisters funeral. I have tried reaching out to her and nada.

That is still so bizarre....do you guys have any mutual friends who might have insight? I agree with PP that she's not worth your time but curiosity would be killing me.

ArmyWife114 · April 2014

I've cut off a few people in my life, recently my grandmother and my aunt. They're both so nasty and vindictive and I don't want DS around that crap. My dad is hurt by it, but it was a long time coming, to be honest. My grandmother has said nasty shit about me since I was little and my aunt says nasty shit about and to my mother every time we see her, so I decided I'm done.

I've been home twice since DS was born, both times my grandmother knew I was going to be there and didn't express interest in coming to meet him. One of the visits, my parents invited her to my sister's high school graduation, told her DS and I would be there, and she never even responded to the invitation; multiple attempts by my father to invite her - formal paper announcement, an e-mail mentioning timing and being able to pick her up, and a phone call, all unanswered. She lives less than 30 minutes from my parents too. So, it's not like it would have been that hard for her to get there.

rockyrollgirl · April 2014

megster20185 said:

Yeah I cut off 3 friends of mine from college. About a week before my bridal shower I found out that they were calling my h sleezy for no reason at all. I decided to be the bigger person and let them still come to everything since they already RSVPd that they were coming but cut off contact immediately afterward.

Yeah...that dosn't happen.

rosesandpetals · April 2014

Does this thread look completely fucked to anyone else? It has like giant badges and tony writing on my screen.

rockyrollgirl · April 2014

roses&65335678 said:

Does this thread look completely fucked to anyone else? It has like giant badges and tony writing on my screen.

Yes and it is only this thread for some reason.

minerswife17 · April 2014

@rachie1019‌ thank you. I'm still in denial about my sisters passing and it's been tough. I thought I could always rely on this person but I was wrong.

@AimeeL85 unfortunately, we don't have a mutual friend, so that doesn't help

it just felt really weird not having her at DDs 1st bday party on Sunday. She was one of the first I called after DD was born and hosted my baby shower. I guess I need to let go 100%.

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