https://www.huffingtonpost.com/caroline-beaulieu/is-having-a-baby-really-worth-it_b_5119535.html
My friend asked for opinions on this article. I said I thought DD was "worth it, totally f*cking awesome but I'm glad we have yaya [nanny in Tagalog] and I have a part time job." I then compared the thought of having a second child to hacking off my other leg. Being legless on a million dollar yacht doesn't sound like as much fun.
Re: "Is having a baby really worth it" - Huff post article
Holy Hell.
Thank you so much for sharing this. It's EXACTLY what I needed to read today.
It feels awesome to know I am not the only person that feels like this about motherhood. Excellent, excellent article.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
This. I also think that there is a huge difference between having "a baby" and having "YOUR baby." Sometimes people will say "What if you'd never had a baby?" Then, honestly, it wouldn't have been a big deal at all. I probably would've wondered what it might've been like but moved on and not thought much more about it. Now that I have Alexander, it's a completely different story because not having HIM, specifically, would be something I'd never think twice about. It;s hard to explain to someone else how or why it's worth it.
For us, I think it also helps that we waited a long time to have him. It's true that you're never really "ready for it" but I think it helps when you feel like you've finished a lot of the things that you've wanted to accomplish. We both have multiple graduate degrees and good careers. We have many years of bars, clubs, traveling and fast cars behind us. I don't miss most of that stuff. Like others said, I do miss the flexibility and I wish we had more help when it came to that but, especially now that he's older, I never feel grounded.
Also, I will add that it has gotten better as she has gotten older.
The first few months I was practically paralyzed with anxiety and fear. Every new thing/ milestone/ transition sent me into a tailspin.
I am so much calmer now, and I think it will only get better as she gets older.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
If I were to ever have another, I definitely couldn't go through all this crap with breastfeeding again! I love nursing DD, but between supply issues, recurrent mastitis, and pumping at work, I'm done with BF once DD weans. It looks like that may be awhile because she is also still nursing 3 times a day. I swear if I get mastitis ONE more time, I'm weaning from the right side! There's obviously something wrong with that side!
baby." Sometimes people will say "What if you'd never had a baby?" Then,
honestly, it wouldn't have been a big deal at all. I probably would've
wondered what it might've been like but moved on and not thought much more about it. Now that I have
Alexander, it's a completely different story because not having HIM, specifically, would be something I'd never think twice about. It;s hard to explain to someone else how or why it's worth it.
For us, I think it also helps that we waited a long time to have him. It's true that you're never really "ready for it" but I think it helps when you feel like you've finished a lot of the things that you've wanted to accomplish. We both have multiple graduate degrees and good careers. We have many years of bars, clubs, traveling and fast cars behind us. I don't miss most of that stuff. Like others said, I do miss the flexibility and I wish we had more help when it came to that but, especially now that he's older, I never feel grounded.
I think waiting a long time (married 7 years, together for 12 when DD was born) made things harder for me. By the time DD came along I felt old (36) and set in my ways. Lol. I definitely think it was good to have all that time to just enjoy being married, though.
Wow.
@tiffanyberry, we sound very similar, down to the chronic low grade depression. Motherhood/ being a mother has not come naturally to me in the slightest.
BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12
January OAD Siggy Challenge: Creative Snow Sculptures
Good luck to both of you in your quest to define yourself! I am a little older, DS is older and I have well defined career so I have a slight advantage. My mom was a sahm which I fully support but she struggled alot with self identity. We were not the closest and still aren't but one she thing she instilled in me was the importance of having a sense of who you are as a person. Personally I think this makes you a better parent. Another wake up call was when my Mother in Law had to fill out a survey and for hobbies and interest she put "My children" because honestly that's all she could come up with. Even if you can't get time to yourself to get out of the house I think it is possible, but not easy, to develop your own interests and hobbies. Just 2 cents from an old lady.lol.
I had LO at 40, so I had plenty of time to get things out of my system, travel, etc. On the other hand, I had plenty of time to get very set in my ways and accustomed to having as much time to myself as I wanted. Exacerbated by living alone for a good 15 years, not marrying until 39 and not living together until we were married, DH working evenings/weekends, etc. That's a lot of solitude and it's a weird thing to give up.