My baby hates me (not really, but sorta)

MA1116 · April 2014

So, does anyone else's baby tend to cry uncontrollably with you, but calm down in everyone else's arms? My LO will finish a 1 1/2 hour nursing session (happily fed and full), unlatch herself, fall asleep and when she wakes up and realizes I'm holding her, she will cry and only want to be rocked to sleep by my mother or DH. I then take her back into my arms from a dead sleep, and she cries again and again. This happens 9 times out of 10! I just can't seem to comfort my own baby, but my mom and DH hold her and sing to her for 5 minutes and BAM!...she's out!

Does she only associate me with eating? Does she hate me? :-( Damn these post partum hormones...

Anyone have a similar experience?

SamJustice · April 2014

DS1do this with me. He would only sleep for FI, my mom, or my sisters. It caused a lot of anxiety, especially when I was home alone with him. He eventually outgrew it at around four months. Thankfully DS2 is much better with me.

MA1116 · April 2014

bandteacher said:
This happened to me at first. I was very stressed and felt depressed. I'm convinced the babies knew. Now that I'm better, they are too.

I think you really have a point. I am constantly stressed like all new moms, but am also fairly certain I have a bit more than just the "baby blues". It would not surprise me if LO picks up on those vibes :-( Even more of an incentive to work on ME to benefit her...

lopezalonso · April 2014

I am sure that she DOES NOT hate you. Maybe you're just nervous when she starts crying and she picks up on that? I've found that DD takes longer to calm down when I'm tired or nervous about her crying. If I'm calm she tends to calm down faster. Just take a deep breath and know your baby loves you. Soothing babies is quite hard and I have had my fair share of feeling disliked or incompetent but you get better. Promise

flcl · April 2014

Hang in there... this mom stuff is hard! I've dealt with depression since I was a teen and I want you to know it's ok to feel down. Use those opportunities that LO is with your mom or DH to take care of yourself. It's easy to forget to do so when you're swamped with taking care everything and everyone else! We all go through times where it feels like our babies hate us and we second guess ourselves. That was me all last week! GL, take care and things will get better

dannie2011 · April 2014

On top of the stress you're feeling, she probably is smelling milk from you and could want to comfort nurse rather then just being rocked.

BrideNamedMeg · April 2014

This happens with a lot of babies. I do think it has to do with your smell - they can smell the milk on you and even if they're not really hungry it probably makes them think about eating and agitates them. It will pass as they get older/mature - don't worry!!

Sanibel21 · April 2014

This often happens to me and I do think there is a component of the milk/feeding association. Atleast that's what I'm telling myself to feel better about it!

SassyFlats · April 2014

This happens to me a lot! DH can rock her and calm her within minutes, but there are many times it seems like she only wants milk from me, and if she's not hungry she fusses at me.

Today she fussed and fussed but didn't want to nurse... So finally I put her in her swing so I could go pee. She was happy as a clam for half an hour!

lindsey1031 · April 2014

When you are stressed, you tense up your muscles and your breathing and heart rate are different than they are when you're relaxed. Is it possible that you are stressed out and baby is feeding off of that? If so, take several deep breaths (stretch your arms, legs, and back) and consciously relax your shoulders, face and other muscles. Use a low, calm voice and speak very softly to your baby - in a dim room with no other noise. Do this a few times a day and hopefully, that will help.

We (some teachers I used to work with) would do this with babies that were very sensitive or easily over stimulated when I worked in an infant classroom. It always worked after a few tries. Remember that you are still mom and she needs and loves her mommy!

amandapthompson · April 2014

I am soooo glad I am not the only one experiencing this! MH is the only one who could get Tanner to sleep most nights this last 2 weeks. The week before that, I wore holes in my socks walking the house with him. Mh has left for his 2 weeks back at work again and I'm terrified I'll be up in the wee hours rocking and walking him all night.

scrumpfy · April 2014

dannie2011 said:
On top of the stress you're feeling, she probably is smelling milk from you and could want to comfort nurse rather then just being rocked.

This. MH can hold LO, and she will be awake and content. If I hold her and she's not nursing or asleep, she's fussing and looking for boob, even if she's just been fed. I assume it's just bc right now she's wired so that when she smells me, she thinks "boobs! Boobs NOW! Now. Nownownow"

AriaAmante143 · April 2014

scrumpfy said:

dannie2011 said:
On top of the stress you're feeling, she probably is smelling milk from you and could want to comfort nurse rather then just being rocked.
This. MH can hold LO, and she will be awake and content. If I hold her and she's not nursing or asleep, she's fussing and looking for boob, even if she's just been fed. I assume it's just bc right now she's wired so that when she smells me, she thinks "boobs! Boobs NOW! Now. Nownownow"

Yep this is happening to me too. I'm just trying to enjoy the rare instances when she falls asleep in my arms, and hope she grows out of it soon.

lalaith50 · April 2014

I definitely get the feeling he smells milk (or knows I am the provider of milk) and that's all he can think about when I'm holding him. It's really annoying!

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