Handling Rude Comments

lindsayl88 · April 2014

I am a FTM to an 8 month old and recently comments others have been making about my son have been making me hurt and angry. I am looking for advice on how to handle this. He was 7 lbs 8 oz when he was born. At his next check up he was in the 95th percentile for weight and has now dropped down to the 67th percentile. He is healthy and his doctor has no problem with his weight. Since he was a few months old I have had people make rude comments calling him "fat", "chubby", "huge", "giant" and other terms that could be hurtful to him. I don't think they mean to be offensive but as his mother it really makes me angry. They just don't think before they say things. I don't want him growing up with low self esteem or thinking he is "fat". He is none of those things, he is just a baby. I am looking for advice on what to say to these commenters without being rude myself (even though I'd love to tell them to F. Off sometimes). Any help would be appreciated!

Asivec · April 2014

I would think that most people making comments are coming from a good place. Maybe in the idea frame of a "happy rolly poly baby". I get people pinching cheeks and patting her little pot belly of my 7 month old who is in the 5th percentile for weight. They call her a "big" girl and often comment on what a large amount she eats. I take it as I have a healthy, happy looking baby. Take it as a pat on the back as a good mama that feeds her LO well.

lindsayl88 · April 2014

Thank you both. I posted in another forum and people were telling me I am being overly sensitive etc. Maybe I am but it's just the overprotective mommy in me. I just don't want it becoming an issue as he gets older.

roo1oo · April 2014

Your reaction matters more to your son than the words other people say. So if you don't want him having a bad reaction to being "fat", then don't have a bad reaction yourself.

ASmallWonder · April 2014

You've got to change the way you think and hear people's intent. Fat babies are not the same as overweight adults. Fat babies are considered thriving babies (which is not to say skinny babies aren't thriving - I make skinny kids). If you have people in your life who would tell a child with a weight problem that they're fat, that's a problem but I would bet that 99.9% of people who call babies fat do so from a positive, well meaning place and wouldn't say that to a struggling child.

EandIMommy86 · April 2014

Most of the time when people refer to a baby as "fat" "chunky" or whatever else, they find him cute and are not trying to be mean. I agree with PP's, take them as compliments and the important thing is that he is thriving. Nobody means any harm by it.

PrimRoseMama · April 2014

I think you are being overly sensitive

Patty Maciel · April 2014

I get comments like this all the time for my son as well, but it doesn't bother me. I take it as a compliment and having a healthy baby. Since I am a bit of a health nut, I always react to those comments with a sense of humor and tell people that it's the protein shakes that I give him. He has been EBF and I joke that the left breast is strawberry and the right is vanilla. I always get a chuckle out everyone when I mention this. You have a healthy baby and that's all that matters.

MagickalNarwhal · April 2014

My baby is fat and I love it. She's adorable and healthy and at her 9 mo appt a week or two ago he was in the 75th percentile...for a TWO YEAR OLD! She really is just big all around - tall, fat, giant head. At this point I consider fat a descriptive word that is analogous to "thriving".

Now, my MILs comments that she need to do an extra couple of laps around the block? Inappropriate and rude. Other people calling my baby a giant? Fine w me.

jaylee212 · April 2014

i completely understand where you're coming from, however i was the opposite case! My daughter was born at 8 pound 1 oz and 21 inches, so she's always been very long. People were constantly saying to me "she's so tiny" or "she's so skinny" when she was perfectly fine and healthy. It made me feel like i wasn't feeding her enough just because she didn't have a protruding belly or massive cheeks. Now that she's six months and starting baby food, she's def filling out more, but i'm not going to force feed her for someone else's idea of what a baby should look like. It still bothers me, but i chalk it up to being a FTM too and just being sensitive and protective about my mothering skills and her.

BelhurstBride · April 2014

You're being too sensitive.

vintageutopia · April 2014

Whenever I try to determine if I am being too sensitive regarding a particular topic, I ask myself if what was said is true?

So, is your little one chubby, fat , or a giant? If yes, ignore them and be thankful that he/she has enough to eat and is thriving.

<--- mother of a chub

inthelost · April 2014

wow peple are such assholes and I'm so sorry you have to deal with them! As long as your child is healthy and the doctor is not concerned nobody else should be either. Ignore the assholes and rude comments the best you can. I know it's hard though.

amberrrjade · May 2014

My baby is in the 75th percentile. She is chubby but she's a baby and there's nothing wrong with chubby.

slh6363 · May 2014

I have the opposite problem! Mine was a preemie so tiny from birth..he is growing great and is a happy healthy 7 month old but for some reason people always commenting how small he is kind of bothers me. I know they don't mean this but I kind of take it as saying he's not healthy or something. So I know how you feel!

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