Community› The Bump Message Boards› Parenting
Parenting
New Discussion

What to do?! Help

CopleyCarrierCopleyCarrier member
in Parenting
SO and I recently shared the exciting news with my mother that we are expecting! Upon telling her, she became so excited and we immediately went to look at baby neccesities, which was great bonding time. Now a week has passed and I understand she wants to be apart of her grandchilds life but she has invited herself to our first ultrasound. Did you all have your mothers present at your first ultrasound? I feel like the first ultrasound is a time for SO and I to take a step closer to our baby and should be shared privately between the 2 of us, and of course I'll call our families and share pictures/videos . Apart from that my mother has also invited herself into the delivery room, which really hit a nerve with SO. I want my mother to be close by but not in the delivery room, what are your views?
Report Reply to Post

Re: What to do?! Help

  • nurrieumnurrieum member
    "Mom I love you and I appreciate your excitement but this is something we want to experience just together right now. I'm sorry if this hurts your feelings and we want to include greatly in a part of this pregnancy and child's life. However, some parts of this special time we want to keep just for us." 

    If it bothers you set a boundary, if you guys decide you can live with it, then you'll have to live it. 

    Anniversary


    (Jar of Bees- Le Blog)

    Pregnancy Ticker
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic Image and video hosting by TinyPic
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • HelenahhandbasketHelenahhandbasket member

    Yeah, my first ever ultrasound didn't go so well.  It would have been much worse if my mom was there, so I completely agree that you are well within your right to tell her no.

    That being said, I get the impression from your OP that you don't often tell her no.

     

    BFP 1- EDD 2/09/11 Missed MC DX @11 weeks D&C- 7/25/10 BFP 2- EDD 12/22/11 Natural MC @ 5w 2d BFP 3- EDD 1/25/12 DD Josephine born 1/16/12

    Lilypie - (TUWi)

     

    Report Reply
  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    Just say no.


    image image
    Report Reply
  • my5sonsmy5sons member
    Definitely tell her how you feel. She may get upset...but she'll get over it. You have every right to want the 1st u/s as well as the delivery to be just the 2 of you, and she needs to respect you and your SO's wishes, and not make you feel guilty about it. Maybe find a way to compromise...let her spend some time with you during labor but then it's just you and SO for the delivery. I'm sure she's excited and just wants to be included, so maybe she can be involved with other things like decorating the nursery, shopping for baby stuff, etc.

    I speak from personal experience. With my 7th child (but 1st DD) it was just me, DH, and my sister, no mom or MIL at the birth. My MIL was disappointed but got over it. My mom is a grudge holder and refuses to speak to me, and has never met her granddaughter. It's very sad but it's her choice and her problem. I wouldn't change how the birth went.

    Anyhow, congratulations! :)
    image
    Report Reply
  • littlemermaidlittlemermaid member

    Tell her she wasn't there when the baby was conceived so she's not going to be there when it's delivered.  LOL!!  Seriously, you are an adult, put your big girl panties on and just tell your mom that you know she's excited but you and DH want that moment to be  just between the 2 of you.  Same thing with the ultrasound tell her you'll come over with the pictures afterwards.  Set your boundaries now!! 

    Report Reply
  • Pips09Pips09 member
    Just tell her how you feel. If you don't set boundaries now, she'll be inserting herself for a long time.
    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers
    Daisypath Happy Birthday tickers



    Report Reply
  • CopleyCarrierCopleyCarrier member
    Thank you ladies! I do have a hard time telling her no, for fear of letting her down but you all make a valid point. :)
    Report Reply
  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    My views don't matter.
    What do YOU want?  You're an adult, you get to make these decisions for yourself.  Your mom is an adult and can handle not getting everything she wants to.  (Whether she chooses to handle it gracefully isn't your responsibility, at all.)
    IMG_8355
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    image
    Report Reply
  • klondikebarklondikebar member
    Don't feel bad about letting her down and telling her no. She obviously isn't extending you the same courtesy. Who invites themselves to an ultrasound and delivery room? People who aren't considering the feelings of the new parents.
    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/1e/60/2a/1e602a4261a90b9c761ebe748b780318.jpg    https://s-media-cache-ak0.pinimg.com/236x/47/2c/07/472c076006afed606241716dd0db828a.jpg 
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"