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My son is terrified at swimming lessons...

LindseyG2010LindseyG2010 member
in Parenting
So we started my three year old at swimming lessons about 4 weeks ago.  At his first lesson, he accidentally stepped off the platform and went under and I ran over to save him (the teacher was a few feet away working with two other kids).  That was 10 minutes into his first lesson and ever since then he has been terrified of swimming lessons.  I took him in the pool with me and he was a lot more comfortable but still nervous.  His dad and I took him to his second lesson and he did ok as long as we were standing at the edge of the pool distracting him with rubber ducks, etc.  The third swim lesson, I took him in about 15 minutes before so that he would already have been in the water with mom....still terrified during lessons.  The teacher pushes him, which I can understand for most kids, but after his first experience being a bad one, I would think that he could use a little less pushing. 

So his dad and I are trying to decide if we should take him to his last swimming lesson.  We more than likely will not be signing him up for another session because it is traumatic for him and me, both.  His dad wants him to go to his last lesson because he doesn't want him to think quitting something because it is too hard is ok.  I can understand that philosophy, but I feel like quitting swimming lessons at this age and trying again later is not a bad idea.  I definitely think he needs to know how to swim because it is a very important skill, but at 3 years old, when he can't stand in the shallow end without a platform, I just think it wouldn't hurt to let him quit and try again when he's bigger.....Thoughts???
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Re: My son is terrified at swimming lessons...

  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    He's three and there's only one teacher and he stepped off the platform and you were the only one to notice? I don't think it sounds like he's getting safe and quality instruction.

    Was he actually under? I'm a good swimmer and twice have been in situations where drowning was a risk. It is terrifying.


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  • LindseyG2010LindseyG2010 member
    He's kind of just a scaredy-cat in general lol partially my fault because I am a bit of a nervous-Nelly
    But anyways, he went swimming last summer - his dad has a pool and I took him swimming once or twice last summer...so not a whole lot of time in the pool, but never a bad experience because mom or dad was always holding onto him....I just don't want him to look back and think "I hated swimming lessons but my mom and dad made me go anyways"  I never took swimming lessons and neither did his dad - I feel like he can learn to swim from us and his friends with a lot less pressure being put on him.
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  • LindseyG2010LindseyG2010 member
    Yes, he was actually under and yes, I ran over and saved him.  His teacher saw and headed towards him but I got there first, and she was just saying to him "stand up" as if he could hear her when his head is under water....another lifeguard came over but I was the one to grab him and pull him up out of the water.  Horrible, horrible experience. :(

    At his last swimming lesson, the teacher had him stand at the edge of the platform and "swim" to the edge of the pool - it's probably 2-3 feet - but he doesn't know how to swim! so he was basically just sucking up water until he finally got his feet under him.  and crying the whole time.  I just don't see how I can continue to put him (and myself) thru it.. ? :(
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  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    I'm so horrified that there seems to be only one teacher with this class.

    I'd get him lessons at a better place. Yes you can teach him to swim... But really, he'll be a stronger swimmer and have a better stroke with swim lessons. He can also learn things like how to rescue himself or his friends and be safe around the water.

    Find a place with better instruction and explain he is afraid.


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  • ByeBabyBuntingByeBabyBunting member
    I think I'm in the minority, but I would sip it. DS loves water as long as he can touch the bottom, but he has no interest in taking his feet off the ground and totally freaks if you try to force the issue. I figure he's got plenty of time to learn.

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  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    FhSTAR81 said:

    Once the kids are 3 here, they go without parents. It's one teacher for 5 kids, in that age group

    That's the highest ratio I've ever seen for that age group. I don't get in the water for DS's swim classes either, but it's 1 teacher to 3 kids (some are college aged assistants) and there's a life guard on the side, ready to pay attention.

    I don't like that the OP's child slipped under and wasn't noticed and rescued by a teacher.


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  • LindseyG2010LindseyG2010 member
    How do I know if they are good teachers??  This is a nice place and they are a Red-Cross certified program.  Maybe he needs private lessons??  Regardless, I think we are going to take a break, even if it's just a few weeks off.  Is it better to take a break or to just power through this traumatic experience?
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  • LindseyG2010LindseyG2010 member
    That's my thinking...plenty of time to learn.  I figure that once he can touch the bottom without having to stand on a 3x3 platform, he will be better off.  UGH - this is not what I expected when we signed him up!!
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  • LindseyG2010LindseyG2010 member
    RondackHiker said:
    I'm so horrified that there seems to be only one teacher with this class. I'd get him lessons at a better place. Yes you can teach him to swim... But really, he'll be a stronger swimmer and have a better stroke with swim lessons. He can also learn things like how to rescue himself or his friends and be safe around the water. Find a place with better instruction and explain he is afraid.
    How do I know if they are good teachers??  This is a nice place and they are a Red-Cross certified program.  Maybe he needs private lessons??  Regardless, I think we are going to take a break, even if it's just a few weeks off.  Is it better to take a break or to just power through this traumatic experience?
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  • RondackHikerRondackHiker member
    To me, good lessons means the children are safe, having fun, and learning somewhat effective strokes at this age. In DS's class they have one person watching the kids on the side at all times.

    The frightened children (like DS was at first) are encouraged with happy voices and high fives. They're given some extra support and will start small. Like the first day the college student dribbled water from his hands onto DS's legs, then had him kick, then bounced his legs in the water, then DS was happy to get in.

    Lessons are explained carefully. "Now we're going to swim with an teacher and use big reaching arms and scoops." The children all seem happy the entire class and they're all being watched at all times.


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  • LindseyG2010LindseyG2010 member
    edited April 2014
    RondackHiker said:
    To me, good lessons means the children are safe, having fun, and learning somewhat effective strokes at this age. In DS's class they have one person watching the kids on the side at all times. The frightened children (like DS was at first) are encouraged with happy voices and high fives. They're given some extra support and will start small. Like the first day the college student dribbled water from his hands onto DS's legs, then had him kick, then bounced his legs in the water, then DS was happy to get in. Lessons are explained carefully. "Now we're going to swim with an teacher and use big reaching arms and scoops." The children all seem happy the entire class and they're all being watched at all times.
    I'm pretty sure they don't explain it like that...it feels kind of rushed.  The teacher is just like "Ok, come with me, we are going to try laying on our back" my son is very logical, he understands complex things (fora  3 year old) if you explain it to him...and I think his teacher is just not on his level...it's too standardized, when it should be customized.  I'm thinking that private lessons might be good for him.
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  • aglennaglenn member
    Luhdashuh said:
    Personally, I would take a break. Your son is only 3, he has no idea when things start or end unless you tell him, so he won't get the idea that he quit unless someone tells him that. Since he has access to a pool, I would get him comfortable swimming and being in the water again before trying lessons again.
    This.  I don't see any need to push the issue right now.  I would stick to low-pressure fun in the water for now and try again when he's older.
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