Community› The Bump Message Boards› Working Moms
Working Moms
New Discussion

Live in nanny

bloverdebloverde member
in Working Moms
I've never posted here before, but I figured this would be the best place to ask. This is going to be long. Does anyone have a live in nanny?

Our current nanny comes 2 days per week and goes to school. We are moving 500 miles away in July, and we talked about her coming with us to be a live in nanny. She would continue online classes.

My questions are about logistics. How is your home set up? Is it weird to have your nanny around even when she's "off"? Has your relationship or alone time with DH suffered as a result of your new roommate?

This is all still in the planning phase. But we would definitely draw up a contract specifying duties. We of course would cover housing and utilities, and then pay a weekly stipend. The amount would have to be discussed. We also considered doing a nanny share to supplement what we could afford to pay.

My biggest hesitation is that we rent a place that's bigger than we need just for our family to accommodate her, and then one of us decides it's not working. Then we're either stuck with a higher rent payment and the need to pay for childcare or forced to move (ugh!) to keep the budget in check.
Report Reply to Post

Re: Live in nanny

  • djm31012djm31012 member
    is there a reason you cant look for a new nanny near your new home?
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • VORVOR member
    When you move, are you expecting to need childcare 5 days a week or still only 2?  because if it's still only 2, that seems like a LOT to move your nanny with you.
    Report Reply
  • brachysirabrachysira member
    I do not have a live-in nanny and I probably wouldn't unless I had 3 under 3 or 6 kids or similar and it was just useful to have many hands to deal with the chaos.  Give us more info.  Why would a person move across the country with you?  Is it a super cool location?  Is she expecting you to make it financially worth her while? Will she be far away from everything she knows?  If it's a cool city or similar, do you know her well enough to be sure she won't be partying and getting in trouble? Is there a reason she is so close to your family?  Are you sure she has your best interests in mind? 
    Report Reply
  • bloverdebloverde member
    Our nanny will be done with her main degree. So she's graduating and doesn't have a job in her field. We are moving to a city with many more opportunities for her. She actually approached us about wanting to move and experience a new city. We also love her and what she's done for our son with developmental delays and food allergies.

    My husband is currently working from home, so the two days per week is for him to have a break. She may not do 5 days per week, but we would build a monthly date night into the schedule and she would start household duties that she doesn't do now. He's not old enough for part time care at a center.
    Report Reply
  • brachysirabrachysira member
    I guess you'll have to use some intuition.  If she was your niece or best friend's kid or something, I can see this making sense, but I do not have such a tight knit relationship with my child's caregivers.  What opportunities is she pursuing?  Does she have something lined up?  I would feel responsible for her, which I would not like.  Will you be satisfied with housing her while she's doing online classes, etc. and not actively working for you?  Who is providing her with social and emotional support in this new city?  What if her other opportunities interfere with your needs?  What does your husband think?  Are you comfortable with someone spending a lot of time alone with him and then living in your home?  My husband can barely stand to host an out of town guest for a couple days.  

    I think with "roommate" situations, everyone has to be very mature, sane, and lack quirks.  Will you mind if her room is messy?  Will you be mad if she comes in at 2 AM?  It sounds like she would be getting a pretty good deal--housing, food, and a stipend for a few days work.  You might be thinking you're doing her a favor and that she should be thankful.  But that's no way to enter a living situation or a working one.  On the other hand, she might not act thankful--she may resent missing opportunities to prepare your dinner or feel angry that you don't want her to invite her new friends over when you're out of town (and do it anyway).  I just wouldn't want to introduce that sort of drama.
    Report Reply
  • jf198400jf198400 member
    I would be really worried that she will quit as soon as she finds a real job. Personally I don't think you will be the one to benefit from this arrangement. There are nannies to be found everywhere. I wouldn't make such a huge commitment to this one.
    Image and video hosting by TinyPic


    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • bloverdebloverde member
    She definitely wouldn't be a partier. Right now she's responsible to clean up after my son's messes and feed him lunch, and she leaves those tasks cleaner than I do. I work 80 hours a week, sometimes starting at 6am. So having someone around for weird hours is helpful.

    As to why she's so close to us, I think our styles of living and caring for children are very similar. She has really bonded with my son and says that she will be really sad to see us go.

    I wouldn't be paying a full wage in addition to room and board. It would be a reduced salary proportional to the additional cost of renting a 3 bedroom vs 2 bedroom. But that would still put us financially ahead. Honestly, without her having a second job or us finding a nanny share family, I would be more worried that she is getting an unfair financial deal. Of course we would have a contract that would specify one year of service.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"