I'm such a failure (sorry so long)

flcl · April 2014

I read and heard about the 6th week growth spurt and in the back of my head, that LO's behavior is somewhat 'normal'. I still can't help but second guess myself though. DS will be 6 weeks Monday and these last three days have been so trying. He's so upset and I can't seem to console him. I just find myself questioning everything I do. He won't nap, his night time sleep is shorter than normal and worst of all, it seems like he hates BFing but he wants do it all the time. He's been yelling at me during and screaming at me when we stop.

My parents are visiting/staying with us for a couple of weeks and my DH is pretty involved too so I know that I'm lucky to have so much help, I really shouldn't complain. But the things the three of them say definitely makes it seem like his crying is my doing...My p's don't buy the growth spurt theory. (ie What did you do to him, you're not feeding him enough, maybe it's something in your milk, we can always switch to formula and see...) All are valid points so I'm not sure what's what. Ugh- I really hope this gets better soon. It's hard seeing my DS so upset

KariB509 · April 2014

I agree with PP. Your parents points are not valid. Also, you are not a failure. Babies are hard! Everything you're describing sounds normal to me. Just try your best to calm him and feed on demand. Soon enough, he'll enter a new stage and throw something different at you. GL!

momofmanyinthemitten · April 2014

I agree with pps. Growth spurts are no joke. Plus, there's wonder week 5 that you are probably going through. Every time my babies started acting crazy, it was usually wonder week time.

Avion22 · April 2014

Babies get fussy. It happens. It's NOT YOUR FAULT. It's most likely NOT something in your milk. A change to formula is more likely to upset the baby MORE than sticking with the diet (and feeding style) that he's already accustomed to. Try not to let the fussiness, or your parents' unhelpful suggestions, get to you. You'll get through it.

magentawarped · April 2014

Tell your parents that if they don't have something helpful to say, then they can STFU. It probably is a growth spurt...my LO never seemed full during his, always wanted to nurse, would flail around and get pissed off after he'd drained me dry. The thing is, the constant nursing is signaling your body to produce more. Switching him to formula will only cause a different kind of fussiness while he adjusts.

He's a baby. Babies get fussy. You're not a failure, you're a new parent and you're still figuring everything out. I'm very sorry that the people who should be the most supportive of you are making you feel crappy. Educate them, and if they continue to say shitty things, send them home. You don't need that negativity right now.

northernkhaleesi · April 2014

I went through this with my own DS (he will be 14 next week). His grandparents were the same way, only worse. My exMIL thought DS wasn't "fat" enough, and convinced my parents that I was starving him by choosing to BF.

It was horrible. They were so into pushing the 'give him formula, so you can see how much he's drinking...' that we had to limit communication with them. I was a wreck, and felt like an absolute failure (part of that was also my hormones going crazy). But I persevered - eventually the grandparents realized that if they wanted a relationship with their grandchild, they would have to back off. And they did.

Fast forward...

DS is thriving. He is taller than me, is average weight, excelling academically and has never been sick. I can count on one hand the number of colds he's had.

My advice (as someone who's been there): snuggle your DS. This growth spurt won't last long. Wear him whenever you can, feed on demand. Tell your parents that you know best. Firmly. And take care of yourself too.

You are wonderful; not a failure at all. I promise.

MapleLeafMama · April 2014

Get the wonder weeks app on your iPad or phone. There is a spurt at 5/6 weeks that is exactly as you described. You are not a failure and you will get through this small phase. It won't be like this forever. Promise.

SouthRNComfort · April 2014

My LO did the same thing: fussy at the breast, but when off she was wailing as well. Your LO will get past this. Don't give into their suggestions to change how you feed him. I bet your parents went through the same thing with you when you were that age, isn't it funny how people forget?

PrimRoseMama · April 2014

Babies have bad days like adults do. You're parents are full of shit.

stripes82 · April 2014

I'm pretty sure my girl spent more time crying I'm the first 3 months than anything else. It was horrible and I never want to go through it again.

As long as baby is growing and developing then you are doing a good job!

roo1oo · April 2014

The 6 week growth spurt is no joke. Even though I EPed for 8 weeks and eventually switched to formula (for my own sanity), I agree with PP that now is NOT the time to switch to formula. That will mess your LOs digestive system up for a few weeks and you'll be even more miserable. Just stick with what you've been doing, cuddle LO a lot and know that its not like this forever. If the fussiness doesn't get better soon it's worth a checkup with the pedi.

Tell your DH and your parents that you need their support, not their criticism.

gpl_jgh · April 2014

I agree, the 6 week growth spurt is a very trying time, many articles say it can last between 3 - 7 days and although you hope for the 3 days of fussiness rather than the 7, my LO seemed to go for 9 days. She was the same as what you describe, and I know you probably are tired of hearing this, but it does get better. We had some of our relatives pushing formula on us too, even when I had pumped milk in the fridge they pushed formula. Hang tough. I felt the same way you did, but you are not failing your LO, you are doing the best thing for them. As tough as it is, push those thoughts out of your head, remember that you can do anything - you had a baby!!! And to trust your mother's instinct, if you are like me and felt like you don't want to just sit and feed all day and night, it's normal! And soon enough you will be able to get back into a routine, it won't be the same as before you had your LO. But it will be a routine that you and your LO make out for yourself, and that's gratifying when you look back on this time that you're going through now.

flcl · April 2014

Thanks you all for your words of encouragement. I really needed them!!

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