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Donor decision making process

sarahjerisarahjeri member
in Third-Party Reproduction
It seems like most of the people on this board decided to use an anonymous donor.  I'm curious why and what brought you to that decision? 

My DH and I only briefly considered using an anonymous donor, and decided early on to use a known donor after taking some adoption classes.  We also chose a donor that we thought (at the time) that we would get to see fairly frequently (she has since moved to SC and we are in Ohio!).  We chose to use a known donor because we wanted future children to be able to have a relationship with our donor and her children.
*****siggy*****
Me: 33 (Mosaic Turner's Syndrome/POF) 
DH: 35 (no male factor)
3/10 - Foster Mr. T for 1 month
3/11 - Foster AL for 1 year
7/11 Known donor retrieval 7 fertilized 
7/11 DE Transfer -BFP & 5 FE
4/9/12 Miracle baby girl arrives!
Planning for FET 7/14


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Re: Donor decision making process

  • Twinkie0612Twinkie0612 member
    We are pursuing donor embryos, not donor eggs, so maybe my response is a little different. I was open to all donor embryo situations (open, semi-open, or closed), but my husband did not feel comfortable with any open situation. I honored his wishes and we settled on a closed embryo donation. It worked out because the clinic we liked had an anonymous donor program.

    For the short time we considered donor eggs, we discussed known donor (my sister) vs. anonymous donor. I think I ultimately would have chosen an anonymous donor because it would have been hard for me to watch my sister do what I had failed at.

    imageimageimageimageimage

     

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    TTC #1 since August 2011

    My Blog

    September 2012: Start IF testing

    DH (32): SA is ok, slightly low morph, normal SCSA  Me (32): Slightly low progesterone, hostile CM, carrier for CF, Moderately high NKC, High TNFa, heterozyogous mutated Factor XIII, and +APA

    October 2012-May 2014: 4 failed IUIs, 3 failed IVFs, and 1 failed FETw/donor embryos

    November 2014: IVF w/ICSI #4 Agonist/Antagonist with EPP and Prednisone, Baby Aspirin, Lovenox, and IVIG for immune issues.  Converted to freeze all due to lining issues.  2 blasts frozen on day 6!

    January 2015: FET #2 Cancelled due to lining issues

    April 2015: FET #2.1


    PAIF/SAIF Welcome!

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  • BeckyP005BeckyP005 member
    I didn't have a choice at my clinic and they do not show any baby or adult pictures to us.

    ME:46 MH:44 DE IVF 2014
    Met with RE 4/11. 2 IUI's BFN. DE best option. Switched clinics to do "shared" program. Had to retake all tests and a mamm that put me behind and then on a DE waiting list for 12 months. Picked a donor!! (10/13/13) Got matched. Estimated transfer in December. After 2.5 years of patiently waiting I will finally cycle....can hardly believe it. DE cycle got cancelled. One of her tests came back positive.  Waiting for another donor. Donor picked!! (1/18/14)

    DE IVF #1 (4/26) BFN  DE FET #1 (6/4) BFP! Beta 1=339 Beta 2=852 Beta 3=9957 EDD 2/22/15!!


     

     

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  • e74e74 member
    We didn't have a choice at our clinic... It is anonymous... Unless you decide to use a relative of yours and that wasn't an option for us.
    DS#1 born 9/23/06 
    Twins DS#2 and 3 born at 31 weeks, 3 days due to a short cervix on 8/2/13.
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  • brooklynesquebrooklynesque member
    I went with a middle ground which is an agency donor who is open to future contact. Future contact is not guaranteed -- the donor will always have the option of saying she's not open to meeting after all -- but this particular donor has met a resulting child in the past and said it was an amazing experience, so I think she'll be open.

    As people have noted, most in-house donation programs have strict anonymity policies (regardless of what the recipient and donor would actually agree to on their own if they had a chance), though this is starting to change by popular demand.

    For lots of people, finding a known donor would be tough.  It's a lot to ask of someone, and quite an intense, permanent tie.
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  • LaireAndLiaLaireAndLia member
    In the UK, it is illegal to use a known donor unless they are a relative, for egg, sperm and embryo donation. And to be perfectly honest, I personally don't see the point in using a known donor unless it is a relative. We did consider using my brother for his sperm for a very short period, because we had already decided on using Laire's eggs, but since we also decided I would be the one carrying, I didn't feel comfortable with having a product of my brother's sperm inside me, in all honesty. So using a known donor was completely off the table.
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  • ksgsmuksgsmu member
    I wasn't comfortable with a known donor....
    ***siggy/ticker warning***

    Me:36 DH:38 TTC#1 since 4/2012
    Me DX: Hashimotos,Hypothyroid, DOR, MTHFR,  DH: normal

     IUI #1-#4 BFNs and a few cancelled cycles in the mix.
    - poor responder
    ***Suprise BFP on 6/13/13. Natural MC @6wks 3days
    IVF#1 and 2- Cancelled due to no response on max stimms
    FET 5/20- BFP
    1st Beta- 641
    2nd beta- 2166
    Sono- TWINS!!!!
    Two Boys! Born January 2015 @36 weeks.  Healthy and no NICU!  So blessed!



    image 

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