Going back to work next Monday...need some advice!

jasi704 · April 2014

My maternity leave officially ends after this week. However I can take up to four weeks more if I want...it just wouldn't be paid. So now I'm trying to figure out if I need extra time off or not. Here's my ordeal...

I'm EBF at the moment (I've begun stashing pumped milk and will pump while at work). Anyway, LO is still eating about every 2-3 hours. Even at night. He has yet to sleep more than 3.5 hours at night but it's usually 2 hour stretches. So I'm not getting much sleep. And during the day, it's near impossible to get much done. He doesn't take many naps, maybe one 1-hour nap and like three half hour naps.

So a) do I really wanna go back to work when neither he nor I are getting adequate sleep? And b) do I want to leave him with MIL (she's going to watch him when I work) when he's still pretty fussy and not napping during the day?

Or is all this normal? What were your babies like when you went back to work? If they were still waking often at night, did you decide to stay home longer? I'm really unsure what to do. I want to go back to work, but I'm afraid of how productive I'll be if I'm not sleeping.

If you have any similar experiences, please share!

TIA!

Edit: LO will be 7 weeks old tomorrow...so 8 weeks when I'm supposed to go back to work.

djm31012 · April 2014

So if im reading your ticker right LO will be 2 mos old correct? That all sounds normal to me. DS slept through the night from mos 3-5, then not again til around 8.5 mos. we were feeding every 2 hours which left me with very little sleep...it stinks..but just have to remember this too shall pass. That being said..2 mos is young...I went back at 14 weeks and still didnt feel ready so if you can afford it...I would take the extra month. You will feel much better physically and mentally. (for your LO it wont matter so dont worry about that!)

vvvvvfee · April 2014

i would take the extra unpaid time off, if you can afford it. i took 12 weeks of FMLA leave. his sleep definitely improved from weeks 8-12. he still wasn't a fabulous sleeper, but it was more consolidated- he was sleeping longer stretches at night instead of waking constantly. so of course i was tired and out of it, but it was manageable. if i had gone back at 8 weeks, i would have been a total mess.

jf198400 · April 2014

There's no guarantee your LO will be sleeping any better in 4 weeks then he is now, so I definitely wouldn't base my decision on that. Ask yourself do you feel ready to go back? Do you want more time to spend with baby? I took my 12 weeks both times and wouldn't have dreamed of going back sooner. But if you're already prepared to go back then it won't be too bad. Look at whether you can manage with the unpaid time. If it will cause significant financial difficulty then I would go back now as planned. Whenever you go back it will be hard, but you'll get through it and it will get easier eventually.

jlaOK · April 2014

His sleep schedule seems pretty typical for a 6 week old baby. 6 weeks is usually the turning point where babies begin to get on a schedule (although this isn't true for all babies). I only took 8 weeks off with DD and she was getting up at least twice during the night. Your body just learns to function and work productively on little sleep.

Having said that, a lot of people take 12-weeks (FMLA) off for maternity leave. Can you afford to take the time w/o pay? Since there is no guarantee that you DS will be sleeping any better in 4 weeks I would purely base the decision on finances and how you feel emotionally. Calculate per week what the loss in pay would mean for your family and decide how much unpaid time you can take. Maybe it's just 1 week (which could do wonders for yourself emotionally) or maybe it's the full 4 weeks. I will say that if it means being a "little tight" in order to take the time off, then take it. I took unpaid time with both my kids and even though losing that money from savings stung a bit I wouldn't trade it for anything.....but since I only had 4 weeks paid with DD that also meant only taking 8 weeks off total because we could realistically only afford 4 weeks unpaid.

cecilyandgautam · April 2014

That all sounds normal for an 8 week old. For me, the decision would come down to (1) can you afford 4 weeks without pay? (2) do *you* feel ready to go back - both physically & emotionally?

I wouldn't base the decision on baby's current sleep habits because, I doubt your baby will be sleep for much longer stretches even if you wait another 4 weeks. You may get to 3 hour chunks, but either way - it all goes to hell during the 4 month sleep regression. So either way, you'll have to power through at work while not getting sufficient sleep at night for at least a few weeks.

Also, my daughter's naps really improved once I went back to work. There are certain things baby wants and gets from you. When you're unavailable, they make due with what is available - a bottle, going to sleep without a half hour of rocking with mom, etc. Chatting with other women at my work - I get the sense that this is somewhat common. Baby is different with mom than with others, so even if baby seems especially clingy and not ready with you, you may find baby does fine (and better than you!) on your first day back.

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Going back to work next Monday...need some advice!

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