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July 2013 Moms
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Deep Cleansing Breaths...

PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
in July 2013 Moms
MIL: "when will the kids grow up? Why won't they grow up faster? Why isn't Abby potty trained? Why does she still need a pacifier? Don't you want her to be successful & mature? What kind of life do you want her to have? Don't you care that your children suffer?"

Me: "CTFD. It will happen when it happens. I'm focusing on the little things & getting through the week. PT will happen when she is ready. I'm sorry you feel my kids suffer. That's sad for you because they seem pretty happy, healthy, smart & adorable to me...."

MIL: "How can you be so calm? You need to do more for your kids. Don't you care about being the best mother for them?"

Me: "I am the best mother for them. I'm here, I love them & I do my best. That makes me the best for them. Stop stressing out..."

MIL: "You are too complacent! LAZY! Is that the example you want to set?"

Me: "what? I'm sorry I couldn't hear you over the CRAZY."

**angry, cold, butthurt silence**

Any other gems?
Tell me who you want to clock with a shovel today?


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Re: Deep Cleansing Breaths...

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  • blairwitchblairwitch member
    uhm...Wow...

    How did you DH grow up in that environment...

    She would make me want to be as far away as possible...even if she was my own mother.
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  • merc5411merc5411 member
    You deserve an award for dealing with her and not TPing her everytime. Or at least a lot of wine.



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  • crash916crash916 member
    She's a winner...you need extra wine or chocolate tonight for sure :)
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    I've tried telling her to GTFO & avoid visits but my husband just can't cut her off. FIL is awesome & a great Grandpa. So unfortunately for me they are a packaged deal. He rarely comes by himself.

    I've tried throwing epic bitch fits, but I know I can't pull the "MIL or me." Type ultimatum. I "won" earlier by marriage etc. I don't think I could get away with cutting the bitch off. No matter how I feel she is still H's mom. I wouldn't want DS's SO to try to get me cut off.

    As Lorelai said, "this is something Shakespeare could turn into a great play." :-w


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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    simone711 said:

    Woah!!!!!!! Does your H ever say anything to her about how awful she talks to u?

    He does. She just doesn't care. She wants to make it like I'm some unbending, careless shrew out to destroy my childrens' potential...

    Or something. FIL tries to intervene too. The woman is just either too emotionally dense or simply doesn't give a rat's ass.

    You can flip the fuck out on her & she will just continue when you get back. "I know it makes you mad, but..."

    It is the most maddening social situation I've ever encountered.


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  • shara3333shara3333 member
    ncchnat said:
    shara3333 said:
    I don't even know how you let her in your house or near your kids. You're a way better person than I am!
    The thing is, though, she's her husband's mom and her kids' grandmother. It's hard to draw that line, especially when only half of the grandparent team is crazy.

    HUGS, momma! You can make it.

    I totally get that and I'm sure I couldn't do it either for those reasons and I avoid confrontation most of the time. I'd probably just hide and cry in reality. Haha
    Trying for #2 since November 2015

    DS #1 - 7/25/13

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  • Clyde013Clyde013 member
    Prim I'm just curious how she was when you first got married and didn't have kids? Did she pick other ish with you or was she fine until babies appeared?

    Either way I'm sorry you have to deal with her but you are extremely mature/kind (can't think if the right word) in your reasoning that she's kids grandma and DHs mom and you wouldn't want your kids SO to cut you out. Kids learn by examples & you're setting a great example for them.
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  • cjm724cjm724 member
    I love that you can stand up to your MIL like this, instead of just grinning and bearing it.  I don't I would have the balls! (not that she doesn't deserve it)

    It's not like your kids are going to go to college unpotty trained and with a binky... FFS. Keep being a good mommy to them!  They are going to love you forever!
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  • EagleWifeEagleWife member
    Oh Prim.  ~O) All of the coffee and wine for you. And hugs. Lots of hugs. The things she's saying are so unbelievable. You really could write a book or at least a really crazy script for a show.
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  • Hilaboo86Hilaboo86 member
    Not yet but were heading to the il tomorrow. I'll add to this post then. Like my positive attitude? Lol it's bound to happen. Also- WTF prim MIL!!
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  • summerchildsummerchild member
    Wow. Glad you are able to stand up to her. I have issues with my MIL but I think yours takes the cake for sure!
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    Clyde013 said:

    Prim I'm just curious how she was when you first got married and didn't have kids? Did she pick other ish with you or was she fine until babies appeared?

    Yes. My job was not prestigious enough, I didn't make enough money (I was a legal assistant...) or didn't have enough degrees.

    I was always (and still am) fat to her. She never missed a chance to suggest I lose weight. I've since freaked out enough about it so that she at least doesn't go on in person.

    My family was messed up (adopted, my adopted parents divorced) so I couldn't possibly be good marriage/wife/mother material because I didn't come from a "good home".

    The only positives she ever mentioned were my intelligence, I was/am pretty & witty. I should use these things to do something "productive" vs. stay home.

    She did just about everything you can imagine to try to argue that H call off the wedding. Tried to boycott the wedding but FIL chewed her out.

    Did I mention that she almost refused to see DD when she was born? The woman is a whack job.


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  • chiboo9chiboo9 member
    mystererae said:

    @Primrosemama @chiboo9 FWIW my Mom is a pretty chill MIL, but she's super loud and hyper. I get a kick out of her.

    I was just gonna ask how your mom is as a MIL. My mom is chill as a MIL to DH and my sister's DH. But when it comes to my brother's wife, yikes, forget it. I seriously feel so bad for my SIL. I mean, she's not as terrible as Prim's MIL sounds like (sorry, Prim), but she definitely oversteps her boundaries A LOT.
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    @chiboo9‌ : it must be the cultural thing with son's wives? It's insane.


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  • stephyfaithstephyfaith member
    You have all my sorries for the craziness. It's so unbelievable what she says and does.
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  • chiboo9chiboo9 member
    PrimRoseMama said:

    @chiboo9‌ : it must be the cultural thing with son's wives? It's insane.

    Totally. There will never be someone good enough to take care of their son or grandchildren. My mom is always telling my SIL to get a better job, that she's not communicating enough with my niece (she had to go through speech therapy and my mom blamed it on SIL's lack of parenting skills), and went as far as telling her that they shouldn't have any more kids until she's shaped up as a mom. It's pretty bad. I always tell my mom to butt out of their lives but she claims that my brother needs her help. :/
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  • PrimRoseMamaPrimRoseMama member
    chiboo9 said:

    PrimRoseMama said:

    @chiboo9‌ : it must be the cultural thing with son's wives? It's insane.

    Totally. There will never be someone good enough to take care of their son or grandchildren. My mom is always telling my SIL to get a better job, that she's not communicating enough with my niece (she had to go through speech therapy and my mom blamed it on SIL's lack of parenting skills), and went as far as telling her that they shouldn't have any more kids until she's shaped up as a mom. It's pretty bad. I always tell my mom to butt out of their lives but she claims that my brother needs her help. :/
    Ugh, UGH!!!!! I feel for your SIL. :'(


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  • fabkfabk member
    Oh man. You have all my sorries. l know eventually we will all be amazing MILs, but I just hope we all get amazing SIL & DIL's.

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  • Clyde013Clyde013 member
    I'm sorry prim. This lady sounds borderline evil. Big hugs!
    PrimRoseMama said:

    Clyde013 said:

    Prim I'm just curious how she was when you first got married and didn't have kids? Did she pick other ish with you or was she fine until babies appeared?

    Yes. My job was not prestigious enough, I didn't make enough money (I was a legal assistant...) or didn't have enough degrees.

    I was always (and still am) fat to her. She never missed a chance to suggest I lose weight. I've since freaked out enough about it so that she at least doesn't go on in person.

    My family was messed up (adopted, my adopted parents divorced) so I couldn't possibly be good marriage/wife/mother material because I didn't come from a "good home".

    The only positives she ever mentioned were my intelligence, I was/am pretty & witty. I should use these things to do something "productive" vs. stay home.

    She did just about everything you can imagine to try to argue that H call off the wedding. Tried to boycott the wedding but FIL chewed her out.

    Did I mention that she almost refused to see DD when she was born? The woman is a whack job.
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  • lovemyminionslovemyminions member
    anr02 said:
    The fact that you have not yet murdered this woman astounds me!
    If it comes to this I'm sure we'd all pitch in for bail money and a good lawyer!

    Justifiable homicide?
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