WWYD?? Family planning

DahliaFlower · April 2014

Our LO is only 6 months old, so this is a little early to be thinking about another, but, unfortunately we had quite a few bumps along the road to our first healthy baby and I am already in my late 30's. We are definitely not ready to "try" just yet but I am wondering what you ladies would do in my situation.

DS is still gets essentially exclusively BM, except for small servings of pureed veggies 0-2 times per day (about 1 oz at a time). He does not seem to eager to increase his solid consumption. I am very happy with our breastfeeding relationship, although I admit it is a challenge to keep up with pumping while working long hours. I still have a pretty decent stash (about 120 oz or so) and I do NOT want to start formula unless I absolutely have to. So, in other words, I am not really looking to wean anytime soon.

My OB had advised me that if we wanted to have another in the near future, that I should wean around 9 months and start trying at that point. I don't know if I'll be ready by then, but on the other hand, I would at least like to start getting my cycle going again. I am not sure if continuing to BF is the right thing to do if it would be at the expense of having another child. This is where I am struggling. Thoughts?

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Valancyy · April 2014

I don't have any fertility issues, but we wanted to have a third child about 2 years after our youngest. My cycles had come back, but weren't regular yet, and I knew from charting that I would have to wean to get pregnant any time soon.

I decided to wean my youngest at 16.5 months, which is a lot older than 9 months, but still sort of the same, since ideally I would have kept nursing for as long as he wanted.

I was torn, thinking am I being unfair to wean my youngest just to try to get pregnant? Now that I'm 22 weeks pregnant, I'm glad I did it. I like the age gap my children will have. I looked down the road 5 years when I was making a decision and knew I'd rather have my children closer together than have nursed my youngest a few months longer. I'll be 34 when this baby is born, and I wanted to have all my children by age 35, so that was a factor for me.

I know our situations are different, but I just wanted to share my thought process when deciding to wean to have another baby.

flummadiddle85 · April 2014

Every woman is different on when their fertility returns. I got my first PPAF at 6 months, KU at 9mo, and my cycles had not regulated yet either. I don't think I would wean just on the assumption that you won't have your fertility any time soon. And if you go just 3 more months, then you can BF for a year... Idk.good luck!

DahliaFlower · April 2014

theresat858 said:

I wouldn't wean LO at 9 mo for TTC purposes...it's best to give the body at least 12 mo to heal between pregnancies, even if you are AMA. I'd stop using protection around 9mo and wean at 12 mo if you haven't seen AF before then. If you have, then start charting and timing sex. My cycles were all over the place when they returned, but we got pregnant without weaning (3cycles of charting, 8 off the mini pill).

This is what I am thinking. We might start "trying" so to speak around 9 months, but I am inclined to keep BF through 1 year. This was my original goal. LO is sleeping better at night right now and I sometimes go as much as 7 hours or so without BF, so I guess my cycles could resume even without weaning. I am going to see how he does in terms of taking more solids in the coming months and possibly slow down BF but not wean around 9 months.

Thanks for everyone's input - it's been very helpful!

camedowncrushing · April 2014

I wouldn't wean at 9 months. I think stretching it to 12 months isn't a huge amount of time lost for TTC.

DahliaFlower · April 2014

camedowncrushing said:

I wouldn't wean at 9 months. I think stretching it to 12 months isn't a huge amount of time lost for TTC.

That's my feeling, too. Granted he's only 6 months, but he loves his BM (and the boob)! He is marginally interested in solids and as I said, I'd really rather not use formula unless I have to. I just can't see transitioning in less than 3 months.

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