Confused FTM...

Frannavaldez9399 · April 2014

So, back story... I'm 32 and have never been around infants. (Or small children). I've got a miracle baby boy who is 16 weeks now. EBF and refuses breast milk bottles. I'm blessed to be a stay at home mom, so I just go with the flow when it comes to feedings and naps. We're down to a decent schedule, and thought we were doing great until I went to a gathering this weekend with baby and hubby. The women there wanted to talk about our habits, and I'm not shy so we discussed. Both women FF over 10 years ago. BOTH told me that I'm messing up. LO goes to bed in his pnp between 8-9. Sleeps in our room, so I just go to bed too. Around 12 he stirs. Gets to smacking his lips and sucking his hands. Before he really wakes himself up, I grab him and bring to bed and throw a nipple in his mouth. He eats real well and falls back to sleep. Then stirs between 2-4 and I feed him again, before he wakes. Ok. These ladies say that at 4 months, there's no reason for me to pick him up when he stirs. He shouldn't be eating at night. If I'm feeding on demand.. And he eats very well each time... Am I actually doing something wrong??? I figure eventually he won't, and we'll be done with it.. But he will let me know. Won't he? I'm frustrated because they made me feel stupid.. Like I should know better. But I'm thinking... If he's hungry, feed him!

Chichigo · April 2014

You are doing the right thing. Feeding on demand is best for baby and for your milk supply. Once baby is older, you can look into night weaning if it's bothering *you.*

My favorite response to people who don't share my parenting philosophy: It's going as well as can be expected.

Frannavaldez9399 · April 2014

That makes me feel better. I ended up shutting my mouth when they started telling me to let him cry. How they tossed their kid in a crib and let her cry until she slept. I wanted to go hug their daughters!!! Lol! I just kept thinking... Babies are so helpless. How could I choose to NOT feed him if he's hungry? Thank you for your response.

seawater · April 2014

You are absolutely doing the right thing! Some babies wake more frequently overnight then others. If you are noticing hunger cues, then by all means feed him. And I agree, it is so hard to talk to people who have different or "outdated" parenting strategies than you. And to echo PP, sometimes a very generic answer works best

You are doing what you feel is right for you child and that's all you can do.

DRFleener · April 2014

Ftm, but if your baby is happy and thriving...keep doing what you are doing. Every mom and every kid is different you just have to remember that..

TheBorg7of9 · April 2014

I don't think you're doing anything 'wrong', but your baby might not really need to eat at that time. I would not feed my baby in the middle of the night just because he is stirring a little. When he cries I give him a paci or rock him back to sleep. If that doesn't work, I definitely feed him, but it's not my first move for everytime he wakes. I'm on my second baby now. He is 15 weeks and usually sleeps 9 to 7, just waking for the paci a couple times. With a toddler at home, I need my sleep. But, as pp said, your baby your rules and you can feed him whenever you want!

MrsBigTime · April 2014

You just keep doing what you're doing, mama!

There are a lot of opinions on sleeping and on when and how a baby should STTN. I never thought my infant should be expected to sleep all night long, and I, like you, have always thought that if she's hungry, I'll happily feed her!

Your gut and mama instinct is telling you the right thing for you, don't let what someone else did sway the way you are mothering you baby - you are doing a great job!!

blue_elle · April 2014

Those women should mind their own business. I will say, though, that I only feed my lo MOTN if he begins to fuss. He does wake sometimes and sucks his hands and goes back to sleep. For him hand sucking is self-soothing. That's us though, and you know what your lo needs more than anyone else.

Frannavaldez9399 · April 2014

You've all made me breathe a sigh of relief and I thank you. Oddly enough he woke about midnight last night and in the time it took me to open my shirt, he had passed out again! I guess I'll just start watching him... Maybe without picking him up he'll go back to sleep. Will try tonight

Beth.1212 · April 2014

I BF my 15 month old pretty much every time he wakes at night

With the caveat that he started STTN at a very young age and hardly ever wakes up MOTN, and hasn't regularly woken in the MOTN for MANY many months.

At some point your LO should be able to STTN without feeding and it's possible to form a habit of waking and eating when it's not needed... but at 16 weeks, I don't think that's the case.

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