Pregnant after a Loss

Advice on hiding the pregnancy from friends and coworkers?

Hi all! I was just wondering if anyone has advice on this subject. I have a bridal shower coming up for my coworker, followed by her wedding and a wedding for DH's friend. I am nowhere near ready to tell any of these people that we are pregnant yet, because I'm only four weeks now and I want to make sure everything is going well before I do. I also have a friends birthday coming up in May and she likes to go to bars for her bday usually. Anyone have advice on passing it off well when declining to drink? I have already been sick and taken time off from work so any slip up I make may make my coworkers suspicious. Thank for your help!
Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


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Re: Advice on hiding the pregnancy from friends and coworkers?

  • voplovoplo member
    Just don't throw up in front of them! Seriously, that happened to me and everyone first question was: "are you pregnant?".  Apart from jokes, I went for a girls night out and I just said my stomach was feeling funny and I passed on drinks, none asked or I don't think even noticed. 



    Mummy to 2 wonderful children
    Noah (2011) & Lily (2014)
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  • jess123456jess123456 member
    edited April 2014
    If you go to a bar order a beer with a dark colored bottle like Sam Adams. Then, go to the bathroom and dump it out and fill with water. You can take sips. Obviously you need to make sure no one sees you dumping the beer out and pouring water in but it's a great trick if you can pull it off.
  • Thank you for your excellent advice! I am definitely going to use a few of your tricks! @voplo, I am going to try really hard not to throw up in front of everyone! Sorry that happened to you but I was laughing when I read your post, because I almost threw up at work today. I had really bad acid reflux that just wouldn't go away but I made it thru the day throw-up free!
    Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

    BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

    BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

    Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

    John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


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  • I second the whole "don't make up a story" thing... If you make too much of it, people will get suspicious. Relax, keep a drink in your hand, and have fun. It's not like anyone will be measuring how much you drink.

    TTCAL Siggy Challenge: "He's my favorite.  His birthday is the same as mine almost"

    image image

    Missing my little one lost at 9 weeks on 2.24.13. brokenhearted but not broken... 

    d&c 5/21/13... Still Healing, Still Standing... 

    MMC discovered 10/2/2013, TWINS... d&c 10/7/2013.  I still miss you, little ones. 

    Surgery December 2013 to remove a 10+cm fibroid... Open myomectomy. Benched for 3-9 months... 
    Will TTC summer Summer 2014 we hope!

    Dear God, Since I couldn't hold my little one in my lap and tell him about you, could you hold him in your lap and tell him about me? 

    PgAL and PAL always welcome...
  • I managed to get through the whole holiday season without a sip. i was the designated driver, then I had a headache, I met my sisters "for drinks" and was so tired that I ordered a coffee. :) I managed to keep my news a secret until 16 weeks when I was ready to share and I really had to because my clothes were getting pretty snug in the mid section.
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    Lilypie Kids Birthday tickers
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers
    Mirena removed 11/10/11. BFP 02/20/13 - MMC discovered 4/17/13 @ 11w4d. 
    BFP 12/14/13, EDD 8/21/14.It's a BOY! DS born 8/15/14.

  • For at least one of the events, you could say you are on antibiotics and can't drink.


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    BFP #1 : 3/20/13 | EDD: 12/1/13 | MC: 4/15/13 

    BFP #2: 1/9/14 | EDD: 9/21/14  

    Welcomed our rainbow bear on 8/31/14

    My Chart | All are Welcome

  • I've done cranberry juice with soda trick to fake a vodka cranberry and limeade to fake a margarita. I've also had DH take my full beer and replace it with his as it got empty.
  • Thanks everyone! Just thought you might be happy to know I am using three of yiur ideas currently in different situations. Tonight its the I-feel-sick-so-I-can't-go-see-DHs-cousin-play-in-band. Tomorrow I am pulling out the I-have-a-terrible-headache-no-alcohol-for-me (bridal shower). And next month cue the Offer-to-be-the-DD- for-best-friend's-birthday. Thanks to evryone who helped me prepare my military style pregnancy deception strategy!
    Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

    BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

    BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

    Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

    John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


    image





  • At parties, I have used an empty wine bottle and filled it part way with non-alcoholic wine, then had 1-2 glasses and used the designated driver excuse. Just don't share your "wine" with anyone because it does NOT taste like wine! Bars are hard... Once time I got soda with a lemon, and if someone were to ask, I would say I was having a vodka-soda, but no one asked! Did the same at a wedding. I have also had a virgin caesar (I believe in the US that would be a bloody mary). You just need to sneak off to the bar and order it when no one is around! On Friday I was at a friend's and I hadn't thought through an excuse, and was actually somewhat even thinking of telling them (I'm 13 weeks now). But I decided when I got there not to tell them yet, and all night they were asking me if I was TTC haha. Oh well! They won't be surprised when I tell them in a few weeks!
    TTC Since August, 2013
    BFP#1 11/2/2013 EDD 7/14/2014 MMC discovered at 8w3d (baby stopped growing at 6w2d)
    BFP#2 2/4/2014 EDD 10/15/2014 please stick little one!

  • Oh- funny story- at a wedding (the DAY I got my BFP in my first pregnancy) my sister went to get me a drink, so I told her vodka soda. So my husband went to the bar after and got me just a soda, and switched it with me! When I told my sister I was pregnant a few weeks later, her first words were "but you were drinking at the wedding!" 
    TTC Since August, 2013
    BFP#1 11/2/2013 EDD 7/14/2014 MMC discovered at 8w3d (baby stopped growing at 6w2d)
    BFP#2 2/4/2014 EDD 10/15/2014 please stick little one!

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