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Intro

NADA-HNADA-H member
in 3rd Trimester
Hi Ladies,

I'm 27 Weeks 1 Day, I guess that puts me in my third Trimester according to some calculation methods.

I'm pregnant with our first baby, a girl, I got pregnant while trying to control my fertility with the TCOYF method so I was in deep shock when I found out I was pregnant 1.5 months after the wedding.

I've battled depression during the entire first T due to me not being ready to be a parent and due to so much happening too soon. (got married, started being sexually active on my wedding night only, moved in with my husband after the honeymoon, and switch jobs, and found out I was pregnant)

Being a Muslim Arab everyone expects you to be happy during and after having baby because it's what your "meant to do and love" my husband has been a great support, my parents on the other hand weren't, they mean well but their way of dealing with it is telling me to not go down the depression way and to just accept it and that I will fall in love with the baby once born.

I spoke to a counselor, a friend with experience, and my husband a lot and managed to get at ease and even excited for my baby and pregnancy and started working on the nursery. However, going into my third T and starting to figure out all the logistics of having a baby and visiting my friend at the hospital yesterday who have just had her baby and watching her struggle with breast feeding got me anxious again…I'm back to feeling that having a baby will wreck my body before and after the birth…and that my life and body won't be mine anymore…I know it already isn't as it grows a baby inside…but I feel like I'm going to lose myself for ever…and everything that I ever do will be kids related from birth onwards…I'm getting scared, worried and anxious again. I need to speak to my husband about it, currently out of town, but I feel like I'd get him anxious and worried too...
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God Bless You my Little One
Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
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Farida, at 8 weeks
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Re: Intro

  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    Thank you Annie,

    I think I got over my anxiety at the point by drowning myself in nesting projects and working on the nursery and by concentrating on being pregnant that thinking of the baby's soon arrival is scaring me now...

    I don't know what happened to me, on Friday I felt like my hormones dropped suddenly and I got really blue, that's what I normally feel right before a period and I usually burst into tears over something silly one day before my period...that isn't alarming right? that I'm feeling that now...doesn't mean that my hormones are dropping?

    anyway, I spoke to my husband over the phone and prepped him up by saying I feel that my anxiety is coming back and I'm getting scared. He will be back tomorrow night anyway and we can talk more about it.

    seeing so many mothers dragging kids around at the hospital two days ago, kids crying and whining and throwing tantrums and my friend having difficulties with latching and breast feeding and all brought back all my initial fears..
    imageimage
    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
    image
    Farida, at 8 weeks
    image
    Report Reply
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  • KateLouiseKateLouise member
    Welcome and congratulations on your marriage and your baby.

    I wanted to second the pp that you are not alone in your fears and anxieties. The reality is that babies change your life, and you had a lot of huge changes happen all at once, it's a lot to get your head around.

    I think it's a good idea to spend time now doing things to make the arrival of the baby as easy as possible: freeze meals, learn about BF, and know where to go for help if you have difficulties (all difficulties can be overcome in one way or another), develop friendships with other new Mums and Mums to be, work out how you will get to have some time to yourself perhaps DH will bath baby while you go for a 30minute walk, or whatever is going to fit for you guys.

    I also wanted to say that it sounds like you have experienced depression, which doesn't mean you will experience Post-partum depression, but post-partum depression and anxiety are very real things, so do talk to your Dr if you do feel like you're struggling.

    It sounds like you and your husband have really good communication and that he's really supportive of you which is a wonderful starting point for any couple about to become parents.

    Best wishes and blessings on you.
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    Elizabeth 5yrs old Jane 3yrs old
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  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    thanks Kate..

    one of my fears is that I would not feel like I want my baby once she's born and that I will suck as a mother and have pp depression...that is a really scary thought..and I'm going to discuss it with my doctor and husband mainly to watch out for any signs of it.

    My husband and I are perfectly compatible emotionally, that's why I was so sure he's the one..he can always left me up when I'm feeling down
    imageimage
    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
    image
    Farida, at 8 weeks
    image
    Report Reply
  • NADA-HNADA-H member
    thanks Annie

    I will look into that...I'm blue on and off the last couple of days and already taking about it to a close friend who helped me go through it the first time when I found out I was pregnant
    imageimage
    God Bless You my Little One
    Farida, our first child, born on the 19th of July 2014
    image
    Farida, at 8 weeks
    image
    Report Reply
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