Feel like I've been punched in the gut :( (BFP mentioned, not mine)

wanderlust508 · April 2014

Today I've been maintaining a pretty good attitude about tomorrow's IUI #1. I was hopeful that DH and I are doing everything we can to make this happen. But then not putting so much pressure on it that I'm crushed if it doesn't. Then while at work, I get an email from one of my closest friends at work. She announced that she and her husband (who only just got married in September!) are expecting. She's about 10 weeks along and feels great. Ultrasound pic included and everything. Now this friend knows that I've been trying for over a year ....and part of me wishes she'd told me privately first instead of me finding out in an email that also included 2 of our other good friends. But I know she didn't mean to hurt me. She's just excited and wanted to share it with her closest friends.

It just hurt to see that she got there so quickly .....she couldn't have been trying for that long! I'm going in for my 1st IUI so I should focus on that and remain positive. But part of me thinks I'm putting myself through something (financially, physically with the fertility meds, emotionally) that will just leave me crushed in the end when it doesn't work. And then seeing my friend at work every day progressing through her pregnancy and pasting a smile on my face will be that much harder

I want this IUI cycle to be it! I want to go through pregnancy together with my friend. But then I see all these women who have to go through multiple IUI cycles (that often don't end up working) and I think ....'What makes me think I'm so special?" Sorry, I don't mean to be a downer! It doesn't help that these fertility meds are making me hyper sensitive and emotional too.

On a positive note, I just did an OPK at home and it was positive. So the HCG is doing what it is supposed to.

Sigh202 · April 2014

Hugs.

Autumray · April 2014

Ugh I am sorry, My brothers GF sent me a FB msg with the BFP test. When she found out ( They were really not trying they had a difficult 1st preg which was ofc was an oops baby to begin with, My brother was told he couldnt have children) I cried for hours I screamed and yell and was soooo mad. I should not have been and I should have felt guilty about it but I still dont. I wasnt happy about the first one. They had only been together a couple months. Here I am 18 months of actively trying and I cant even get a Pos OPK! People just seem not to have any common sense.

I wish you luck love and hugs on your venture these next few weeks!

StacyLH24 · April 2014

I'm sorry that you are experiencing this. With any luck, she is a good enough friend to understand that while you are happy for her, you may not always be able to be all smiles about it. It is ok to feel how you do. Your feelings are valid. All of our feelings are valid.

ronniesgirl1981 · April 2014

Hugs. This blows. Shortly after my second failed IUI, I learned that my dear friend got pregnant with #2 that same month. Both pregnancies were first month trying. On a positive note, some do get pregnant on IUI #1. There is no reason you couldn't be one of them! Good luck!!

athlete010688 · April 2014

Hugs! I hate hearing about bfps from people where it doesnt take any time at all. Makes me so angry. I had asked DH if his old assistant had gotten married yet. His response was not that long ago, and she's already pregnant.
DH doesn't quite get it yet that I really don't like to hear about that stuff too much.

erollis · April 2014

So many HUGS. Big big hugs.

theholmanherd · April 2014

I'm in the same boat. Tons of newly pregnant girls around me. It's so disheartening. Especially when I can't even seem to ovulate ever. I just want to throw in the towel sometimes, but I force myself to have some small measure of hope that *I* will be pregnant someday, too. (((HUGS)))

Lindsey7348 · April 2014

Everyone that has gotten married after my DH and I have had babies. Some have looped us. It is absolutely disheartening. Hugs to you!

DharmaChick · April 2014

Hugs. I just heard of two pregnancy announcements this weekend, and it's getting to me, too.

Sami14vb · April 2014

I know exactly how you feel. My friend and I both started TTC around the same time. We even both had complications for about 8 mos. then she got pregnant. She is now 6 mos. and I work with her every day, and she is so excited as she should be. It's hard for me to see where I could have been if my body would just get it together. She would send our whole group a mass text with her ultrasound updates. Definitely hard. I try to be as supportive as possible, but I have also separated myself from here a lot. It's really hard to hear all about the baby talk. I wish you the best, and what you are feeling is completely natural. Try not to be too hard on yourself.

wanderlust508 · April 2014

Thanks for your support ladies! It really means a lot and helps to know that other women are going through the same feelings. Lets hope that these feelings don't last and that we will all get our much deserved BFPs soon!

I'm now 2dpiui .....fighting the urge not to take a pregnancy test already (stupid I know; as if seeing a false + because of the trigger shot is what I need right now). And trying really hard not to google things like "IUI success stories" and "What you can do to increase success of your IUI." Just gotta find ways to stay busy and keep stress at bay for the next 12 days or so .....

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Feel like I've been punched in the gut :( (BFP mentioned, not mine)

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