High-Risk Pregnancy

Scared to be happy!

So I am currently between 6-8 weeks pregnant not sure yet. We have an ultrasound scheduled for next week but I am constantly sick to my stomach with fear. My husband and I had been trying for almost 4 years with not even a positive pregnancy test, we tried ovulation calendars and even two rounds of clomid but were never able to get pregnant. Last October I was diagnosed with stage 1b Cervical Cancer and went through two rounds of chemo and radiation, my dr did not do a hysterectomy because I am only 27 and she knew how badly I wanted to get pregnant. I was extremely lucky in that the treatment worked without having to do any major surgeries and my remission day was March 22 of this year. And two weeks ago I found out I was pregnant!!! My dr does not feel that the cancer or treatment will affect the pregnancy too much although I will be considered high risk, but I have already been to the ER once last week for spotting and it turns out it was just a small hemorrhage on the uterine wall but they also said I was only 5 weeks pregnant when I thought I was 7. Since then I have felt like there is something wrong and am just preparing myself for the worst and cannot get myself excited at all. I am actually acting like something is already wrong and my husband is so excited but I am so so scared. How do you make yourself stop worrying? Does it get easier after the first ultrasound? Oh I am also on pain medication from neuropathy and pelvic pain from my radiation and my OB said I cannot stop cold turkey as this will cause withdrawals and could cause miscarriage which also scares the hell out of me, we are going to start tapering I am just so worried I'm harming the baby by being stressed all the time and not being able to completely stop my meds :(

Re: Scared to be happy!

  • My DH and I tried for 9 years but never went any further then medical testing to check for problems. I was scared to be happy too and we didn't tell anyone until our dating u/s and then only family. We waited until 16 weeks before we made it "FB official". Now everyone knows and we are facing a whole new set of issues but my advice is to relax a little and take your time adjusting to the news. Be happy about the new adventure and embrace every week you advance. 

    Congrats and good luck with everything!!
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  • I'm sorry you have had so much to deal with! I would say it might get a little easier as you go along but fear never goes away. Just think, as parents we'll always be worried or fear something when it comes to our children! As you get further along I think a little of the anxiety will lift. You just have to take it one day at a time! We don't have control over these things. GL
    Lilypie Premature Baby tickers
  • Thank you ladies :) my OB knows how scared I am and let me come in today to see the heartbeat :) 6 weeks 3 days EDD 4/7!!! Made me feel a lot better
  • Hi Babe&Bear - I am also a young adult cancer survivor (was diagnosed at 25) had surgery and radiation; then a month before we found out fertility treatments worked I had a biopsy and diagnosed with DCIS in the breast.

    I'm now 28 wks and though it hasn't been easy know you can do this.  This board has been a huge support.  I constantly am worrying and am lucky my OB is understanding about it all.  It was really hard for me to get excited early on because I always had that worst case scenario in the back of my mind.

    We will all be here sending lots of support your way!!
  • Thank you so much brinka I also think this board is going to be such a big help! Already feel better just reading others posts :)
  • Oh my goodness I wish I could give you a big hug! I have absolutely nothing to relate, besides being high risk as well. It's scary! The ultrasound changed my life...so happy to see her bouncing around I can't even stand it. I can only hope the same for you. You deserve it. I have a feeling you and your baby are gonna be great!
    Good lunch and CONGRATS! :D
  • I am 24 weeks and still scared :)
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