Random Breakdowns

xc1148 · April 2014

Due to some severe cramping last night, I woke up thinking we are out this cycle. Couldn't go back to sleep, and was in a daze. I go to the dentist, and she says "how are you?" I guess my hormones were off because I literally burst into tears and slumped into her chair. She then clarified that she was originally referring to my teeth, but was happy to discuss other topics. I was only able to utter that I was having a bad morning and she got me a box of tissues and patted me on the back. She also said my teeth were in good shape (perhaps she was going easy on me because I was in tears).

Where have y'all had random breakdowns? Do you ever tell strangers the truth or do you just make an excuse?

theholmanherd · April 2014

Yup. I almost lost it talking to someone in a coffee shop. She kept telling me I didn't need to lose weight. I almost started crying and I said, while I didn't have THAT much that I wanted to lose to be a size 2 again (I'm a size 4-6 now), I was just so desperate for ANYTHING to work to get me to ovulate on my own since I read somewhere that losing just 10lbs or 10% of your weight can go a long way to helping fertility. She was working so and someone else was walking in, so I just quickly scampered away, embarrassed. She sent me a text later saying she didn't mean to minimalize how I felt and she was sorry for my struggles. I was at home when I got the message and started bawling. I'm just glad I wasn't still out running errands.

wishiwaspreggo · April 2014

I cried in the cookies/crackers aisle at the grocery store because I was so hopped up on hormones and the Plain White T's song "1, 2, 3, 4" came on. It was so embarrassing. I had to leave the store and calm myself before I could keep shopping.

meld42 · April 2014

calindi said:
I am so sorry! I nearly started crying over brazil nuts in line at Whole Foods, but made it to my car before I started sobbing. This process is simply not fair or fun!

I cried about Brazil nuts at whole foods, I was PMSing.. I took WAY too much and it was so expensive! I was sad because I planned out my grocery shop to be exactly on budget!... It wasn't a huge deal, but it felt like it at the time.

xc1148 · April 2014

Hahah remind me not to buy brazil nuts at whole foods

theholmanherd · April 2014

haha the brazil nuts stories are cracking me up. I was like this when my husband and I tried to go Paleo on a tight budget. But I think I was just so hungry and going through sugar detox LOL

xc1148 · April 2014

@RammerJammer that is the worst! I had a new hygenist today, and she was trying to be chatty and make conversation. She asked me if I had kids twice lol.

Pintobean39 · April 2014

I got a bill for the genetic testing we had done. I didn't realize there was 1 for me and my husband and I thought I'd paid it when I got a late notice but I paid his and not mine. So instead of the $500 I thought I owed it was really $1000. I lost it on the phone with this poor woman. It was one of those snot run down your face cries. I had to hang up on her. She prob thinks I've got some serious problems but this was the day after I got my bfn from my first failed cycle.

meld42 · April 2014

calindi said:

meld42 said:

calindi said:
I am so sorry! I nearly started crying over brazil nuts in line at Whole Foods, but made it to my car before I started sobbing. This process is simply not fair or fun!
I cried about Brazil nuts at whole foods, I was PMSing.. I took WAY too much and it was so expensive! I was sad because I planned out my grocery shop to be exactly on budget!... It wasn't a huge deal, but it felt like it at the time.
Yup, pretty much the same story!!!! Hahaha just mine was right after a bad monitoring apt.

Dang Brazil nuts!

As embarrassed as we all get for being emotional in kind of embarrassing settings, it does help to get it out. Usually people say something nice to you afterwards:)

gsancho · April 2014

My bad breakdown was at Whole Foods, too! Something about Whole Foods....hahaha!

It was after a "friend", who in my judgmental option doesn't deserve a kid, blindsided me with her surprise pregnancy news. I cried all the way home, made a detour to WF, got a bottle of wine, cheese, and cupcakes. The checkout lady asked how my day was, and I just cried...the only thing I could muster out between sobs was, "I just want some wine!" I avoid that checkout girl now b/c she either thinks I'm crazy or an alcoholic.

jaztastic · April 2014

One of my good coworkers, who happens to be a guy, stopped by my desk to talk about what was going on with our football team (we both like the Steelers). He began discussing what moves the team was making, and mentioned something about a player being let go... and I could feel my emotions coming on strong. My eyes started welling up and as he began to ask me if I was okay, i lost it a bit. I couldnt control the urge to cry at that moment...I blamed PMS and tried to laugh it off with him. Yea that was pretty bad. lol

jencity9 · April 2014

I can't think of a time I've randomly broken down in public... I rarely cry at home either. I do cry.. Just not that often.. I mostly just get teary. I've always been like that and it can be frustrating especially because it leads others to think I don't care as much as I do. I think people think I'm much stronger about this topic than I really am.

BananaPancakes02 · April 2014

I feel like crying today, for no good reason. I am sure it is because today is the first day off of my crazy 800mg x 7 days round of Prometrium. I also want to eat everything in sight.

ktupiak · April 2014

I literally broke down crying one day because we didn't have cheese for the salad...and it was a family gathering at my parents house and everybody just thought I was crazy...but I really wanted my cheese...lol...whilel I was in the bathroom cleaning myself up my dad went to the grocery store and get me cheese

BunnyBerry · April 2014

My breakdowns so far have been at home (knock on wood). Happy laughs or tears suddenly turn into sobs of sadness...it's very unnerving for DH but I guess it's my mind's way of letting out some of the pressure of this process?

Sorry off topic, but... @calindi that is very helpful, I recently gained about 25 lbs due to meds and I am exactly at the edge of normal weight and overweight BMI. I have been fretting if I need/should lose some of that weight for fertility, since I don't know if it's possible (on a horribly unhealthy no-fiber diet, steroids, and no exercise more than occasional slow walking). That makes me feel so much better to hear!

erollis · April 2014

*Warning - kids mentioned*

All my breakdowns have been at home too. And all have been brought on by baby related things or babies. Although I had a more in depth conversation with one of my coworkers about what we're going through. She asked me how I'm able to be ok at work around all the babies. Honestly I have no idea. I just know some days it's very difficult and I'm imagining I may have to quit if I get really bad.

I'm also never going to whole foods now for Brazil nuts.

meld42 · April 2014

emilee871 said:
I haven't broken down publicly (other than in front of a fertility dr) but I tend to randomly at home or on my way to work. I do find myself snapping at people then feel horrible about 2 seconds later. It's like I have no patience for anything these days.
Just wondering about all the Brazil nuts? Are they good for fertility?

My dietician has me increasing fats for fertility/hormone regulation and increasing anti-cancerous foods and she recommended Brazil nuts as part of a balanced snack!They're full of selenium, healthy fats, and other antioxidants.

Might I just add that I've increased healthy fats for a month now, and even if they don't help with fertility, I feel so much better all around. In case anyone wanted to know about increasing fats

supermorena · April 2014

Well at least we're all together on the crazy train, right? Most of my meltdowns are in my car or with the hubs at home. Sometimes i get teary at church or other place, but i can usually pull it together before it gets too bad. I hate when the tears well up right before I'm supposed to see someone though and i show up with bloodshot eyes and mascara running down my face. Good times.

FutureMrsBaldwin2012 · April 2014

I broke down at work on Thanksgiving night. I was already having a pity party because I missed family dinner due to work (joys of being a nurse!) and I checked Facebook and saw a pregnancy announcement from a close friend of ours. This was a day after a BFN so I was extra sensitive.

Amykeir · April 2014

Totally hearing you girls. I had a breakdown last week in the chemist buying tampons

tifga · April 2014

I started sobbing in synagogue a few months ago. This couple with twins boys walked in and I just burst into tears. I don't think anyone buy husband noticed, but he had to come over from the men's side to make sure I was alright.

ments

I also started crying during my cd16 testing but it was the first u/s since the mc so that seems reasonable.

kushie77 · April 2014

Well just had a breakdown in my office. Looked at the medical records girl who sits her on Wed and told her to take a walk, locked my door and lost it. She probably thinks I'm crazy but I really don't give a shit right now.

hope2bmom83 · April 2014

calindi said:

@theholmanherd - I just read your thing about weight loss. That statistic is for people who are obese or morbidly obese - it is not even statistically significant for overweight people, and it sounds like you are likely in a normal/healthy body BMI range, depending on your height (but you'd have to be VERY short for that to not be a fairly healthy size).

I'm 5'4", 160 lbs, and a size 10 and I still wouldn't rise my chances by much (if at all) by losing weight, according to my research and my doctor.

For people who are underweight, gaining pounds to get into a normal BMI range can sometimes help increase their fertility. So it's all about maintaining a healthy BMI, not just losing weight. Just FYI!

This. I am 5'0.5" (every half inch counts when your my height) and I started out weighing 248. I hadn't ovulated in years, but after I lost about 30 pounds I started ovulating again. I had always heard that when you are around the 200 pound or more mark this is very important for your fertility health!

I love these posts, they always make me laugh so hard! Its funny how you can feel so down and out and upset, then when you read this stuff later it is hilarious!

Sami14vb · April 2014

I wish I had crying breakdowns instead of anger. When I was on clomid I was really anxious and uptight and something that normally would upset me would send me flying off the edge. I've heard anger is the face of pain, so i still count my angry episodes as breakdowns.

Mommalawyer · April 2014

I've had AT LEAST one breakdown a day this week. I've started just shutting my door to my office as a "proceed at your own risk." I started bawling in court, when we were not in session, when talking to the clerk (who is my friend) and I began to sob about how I'm so bloated, I had to try on 4 different pairs of pants to get ones I could button. Well done.... Then my boss' boss came in to see how I was. I tried to hold it in & warm her to just leave, and our conversation went like this- 1) I want a divorce, 2) I no longer want a baby, 3) I'm going to quit my job and 4) I regretted going to law school, getting married, and going to the RE. All while sobbing. Uncontrollably. Thankfully she knows me & happens to be my friend as repeatedly said, "No. This isn't you. This is the hormones. You're gonna be fine." All the while, I tried to convince her that she was wrong... I'm sure I had the crazy eye. Can I nominate myself for Throat Punch Thursday?!?!

theholmanherd · April 2014

Mommalawyer said:

I've had AT LEAST one breakdown a day this week. I've started just shutting my door to my office as a "proceed at your own risk." I started bawling in court, when we were not in session, when talking to the clerk (who is my friend) and I began to sob about how I'm so bloated, I had to try on 4 different pairs of pants to get ones I could button. Well done.... Then my boss' boss came in to see how I was. I tried to hold it in & warm her to just leave, and our conversation went like this- 1) I want a divorce, 2) I no longer want a baby, 3) I'm going to quit my job and 4) I regretted going to law school, getting married, and going to the RE. All while sobbing. Uncontrollably. Thankfully she knows me & happens to be my friend as repeatedly said, "No. This isn't you. This is the hormones. You're gonna be fine." All the while, I tried to convince her that she was wrong... I'm sure I had the crazy eye. Can I nominate myself for Throat Punch Thursday?!?!

Aw I'm sorry. That's a mega meltdown. I hope you feel better soon! TP those hormones into next Thursday!

erollis · April 2014

I had the dilation Wednesday morning and did just fine at work. Thursday I was fine. Today I woke up with cramps and bleeding. They said it was normal (since I'm not filling up pads). But if it's still going on Monday to call. Well I went to work today with every intention of making families happy and giving them great newborn portraits. Instead I broke down crying at work (first one at work). Talked with my supervisor about pretty much everything and she sent me home. Then a cop gave me a ticket on the way home. Uhg!

CardsFan02 · April 2014

I had a breakdown this morning going to work, realizing that I couldn't follow up with my RE today. It doesn't help that I work in a hospital and where I work I pass by L&D and near the NICU. I'm surprised I don't breakdown more when seeing new moms leave with there babies.

StacyLH24 · April 2014

I have had several breakdowns. Most notably, I saw a FB post that was baby related and very upsetting about two weeks ago. I had come back from a home visit and I sat and sobbed in my car for a good 20 minutes. I pulled myself together and walked in to work. One of my coworkers was at the front desk and he made a comment about my face being flushed and asked if I was ok. I started telling him about the post and couldn't even finish because I had started sobbing again. I made a mad dash back to my cube to pull myself together again. He is very understanding and knows a bit about us trying so I don't think he was alarmed.

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Random Breakdowns

Re: Random Breakdowns

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm

12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

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Want a personalized experience?

Random Breakdowns

Re: Random Breakdowns

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motilityIUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFNIVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

March 2014 - RE appt. April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormalMay 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm

12/2014- Surprise natural BFP EDD 7/31/15 Plan: Starting foster to adoption, natural cycles

Choose Another Board

Search Boards

Me 33, DH 37 -- TTC since Jan'12 -- Low AMH (0.78) & endo, SA w/ low motility
IUI's 1-3 = BFN, IVF converted to IUI 4/13 = BFN
IVF 1.2: 8R 6M 4F -- 2 blastocysts frozen, FET 8/15 = BFP!!
Beta #s = 445;1,098; 9,545 -- EDD 5/2 -- Team Pink!

March 2014 - RE appt.
April 2014- Saline sono all's good, terrible SA results - 8 sperm found all abnormal
May 2014- Fert Urology- Bilateral varicoceles, recommend Donor Sperm