Night wakings? Am I all alone here?

randcbaby · April 2014

My 16.5-month-old still regularly wakes up at night. In fact, up until two weeks ago, the longest stretch of STTN he'd had was two nights in a row. He'd STTN maybe a total of 8 times in his whole life. Then all of a sudden, he started STTN and did so for almost two weeks straight. Nothing changed in our routine. But now he's back to one waking a night, for three nights in a row now. He is easy to put to bed--puts himself to sleep after a simple bedtime routine, very rarely protests--and is a great, consistent napper. His only "issue" is this pesky night-waking.

I'm actually OK with the night waking. I don't know what is causing it, but he seems genuinely upset at night, not manipulative (not that I would be able to recognize manipulation in him), and we usually give him 5 to 10 minutes to work it out by himself before responding to him. Some nights my husband is able to just pat his back and help him lie back down, and that's enough. Other nights, things escalate and I end up nursing him quickly, and that usually does the trick.

Anyway, the backstory probably isn't necessary. I'm not looking for help in getting rid of the night-waking. I am just wondering if a toddler who regularly wakes at night is as rare as the Internet makes me think it is. I just don't read a lot about other kids waking up at night. It sometimes feels like everyone else's kid has been STTN since they were six months old. Maybe those of us with night-wakers are just not taking about it enough?

So who else has a night-waker, and are you OK with the situation?

[Deleted User] · April 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

acbfreire · April 2014

DD is 21 months and still wakes up 3-4 times/ night. Some nights she will wake up twice (heaven)!
I agree, those of us whose kids do not STTN or who nurse to sleep feel "ashamed" almost.
DD was never a good sleeper, not even as a newborn.
I decided to co-sleep for now and revisit it later.

randcbaby · April 2014

Yeah, my gut says it's normal, and I need to just trust that! Every child is different--and who care what random people on the Internet or my MIL thinks. (When I told her he was STTN recently, before he started waking again, she said: "Well, he's old enough, he SHOULD be STTN!" Like I am doing something wrong, or there is something wrong with him?)

I should spend more time on the Kellymom FB page--I know I've got a lot of night-waking company there! But glad to find it here too.

Thanks, everyone.

ss265 · April 2014

Mine wakes up once a night but usually due to teething/illness. Since he is in day care, he is sick a lot which means a lot of night time wake ups! DH and I just take turns and if he happens to sleep all night then we don't trade turns - the person who was supposed to wake up with him still wakes up with him that night.

We do give him a bottle when he wakes up though - planning to night wean (both the bottle and the milk) if he continues to wake up in a few months. Just to be clear, we are stopping all bottles this weekend but will continue to give him milk in a sippy. We kept up the night weaning this long because he is low on the weight charts and we are weaning because #2 is on its way and I can't imagine having two kids waking up at night.

mb314 · April 2014

I'm jealous that your toddler only wakes once a night. Mine wakes several times. After the first wake up (which occurs anywhere from 10 pm - 1 am), I bring him to bed with me. Then he wakes several times a night to nurse. I was fine with it for a while, but now I'm pregnant and tired, and I need him to sleep better. I think I'm going to start with night weaning and then do CIO if night weaning doesn't get him sleeping more through the night.

pmduggan01 · April 2014

I agree that night waking is probably as common as STTN. DS wakes 1-2 times a night, and very rarely has STTN. I've pretty much accepted this now.

acbfreire · April 2014

See! We just need to talk about it more. I work with children and many moms have told me that their kids woke up at night until they were 5. My husband was one of those! So I am assuming genetics might have played a role.
I stopped looking at the clock and just accepted it. We are bed sharing for now and we will try to gently roll DD to her toddler bed and then out of the room sometime before she goes to college

.

flummadiddle85 · April 2014

Nicb13 said:

randcbaby said:

Anyway, the backstory probably isn't necessary. I'm not looking for help in getting rid of the night-waking. I am just wondering if a toddler who regularly wakes at night is as rare as the Internet makes me think it is. I just don't read a lot about other kids waking up at night. It sometimes feels like everyone else's kid has been STTN since they were six months old. Maybe those of us with night-wakers are just not taking about it enough?

So who else has a night-waker, and are you OK with the situation?

You nailed it! People with kids that STTN are usually the ones chiming in and giving "advice" to those with kids who aren't sleeping.
IMO, if you aren't unhappy with the way things are going with your LO then there is no reason to change a thing. If YOU are ok with one night waking to nurse then keep doing it.
We don't do everything by the book in our house by any means but it works for us, we are happy, so we don't change anything until it becomes a problem.

I was one with a baby that STTN early on (6 weeks). But I knew it was luck,and I've never given Advice. Even the whole BF vs FF for STTN I don't buy. DS has never had any formula,but started STTN at 6 weeks. At 9.5mo his sleep became a trainwreck and has yet to recover back to STTN consistently. The only constant with baby sleep is that it's always changing.

LSU628 · April 2014

If it makes you feel any better my DD who is 4 1/2 still wakes up at night. She always was a horrible sleeper, so I got into the bad habit of putting her in bed with us. I could either fight with her for 2+ hours in the middle of the night or put her in my bed where she would snuggle up and go back to sleep. Now she wakes up and ninjas her way into my bed. I'm not quite sure when she gets there (she crawls over DH) but she comes in every single night. She's getting to the point where she's too big and we're running out of room in the bed. I figure that is a problem I'll tackle this summer when I'm off of work.
With DS I made sure to not make the same sleep errors I did with DD. I put him into his bed sleepy but awake, always. With DD I would have to rock and pat and try to sneak out of her room only for her to wake up and start the vicious cycle all over again. Thankfully until the molars started creating issues DS is an amazing sleeper!!

traveltheworld · April 2014

DS mostly STTN, but it appears from talking to my mommy friends that he is more the exception than the rule. A lot of toddlers don't STTN. And oftentimes even those that did as babies stopped once they turned into toddlers.

DS consistently STTN at 10 months, but went through a pretty bad sleep regression at around 15 -16 months. We just rolled with it.

vlevitt · April 2014

i love this thread! DS is 15 months and has never once STTN. he varies between 3 and 5 wakings at night, and recently started HOLLERING his head off for up to an hour during these wakeups. makes being a mom a lot less fun during the day when night wakings are so frequent. i'm pregnant with #2 right now, so feeling desperate to get this to stop. have to admit i often feel like a bad parent because i haven't sleep trained and don't allow him to CIO. seems like "everyone" else's kids are great sleepers and i'm the only zombie out there. glad to hear i'm not!

JGY · April 2014

I will fully admit that I nurse DS to sleep. He has never been able to consistently fall asleep on his own, so this is where we are at. At first he was a great sleeper, and I knew I was just lucky. His sleep has been up and down since about 3 months. Right now we're at just over 12 months and some nights he's up once, some nights he's up 4 times. Some nights he goes right back to sleep by nursing, other nights he wants a dance party for 3 hours.

I just keep telling myself that every bit of this is a phase and we will get through it. And he's happy and healthy. And we're surviving (some days just barely, but we are).

acbfreire · April 2014

I love this thread! I stopped talking about DD's sleep a long time ago. I cannot do CIO - DD will fully awake and then want to play for another 2 hrs, making me more tired. She gets REALLY distressed and I cannot see how that will help her fall asleep.
Gosh, she never fell asleep on her own on stroller rides as a newborn! LOL.
I nurse to sleep and I nurse her back to sleep. It is the fastest way and it has saved me from being a total zombie. I have tried everything (except CIO): oils, baths, massage, rituals...
DD had a few STTN episodes, but there are so rare. I think she is not ready/ For now we bed share and nurse to sleep. Judge away!!!!

skibunny59 · April 2014

My 2 year old just recently started sleeping more and by that I mean she actually stays in her toddler bed in her room from 8PM until 3 or 4AM. This is the longest stretch she has ever given us so I am pretty happy.

We used to co sleep for part of the night. We would put her down in her own room and she would come in our room around 11 or so after her first wake up. Then she would nurse every 2 hours. I finally put a stop to that when she was around 20 months old. I never could do CIO so I still brought her into bed with us but would offer lots of cuddles instead of nursies. Sure she was mad and cried but it worked and now she sleeps much better and so do we.

She is still asking for nursies when she wakes up at 3 or 4. Sigh. Wondering when she's going to get the message that she's not getting any. We still bring her into bed at this point and then she's usually up for the day around 6.

Oh and I know they say it's a myth that formula fed babies sleep better than breastfed babies but every baby I know in real life who is formula fed does sleep better than those that are breastfed. I don't regret nursing or anything and I will probably nurse my next baby but I just think there is some truth to that myth.

bubble520 · April 2014

At 15 months our STTN total is 0.... he is up 2-3 times to nurse briefly... we bedshare after the first wakeup and it still works for us...

Want a personalized experience?

Night wakings? Am I all alone here?

Re: Night wakings? Am I all alone here?

Choose Another Board

Search Boards