Pre-School/School-Aged Check-in

stefuge · April 2014

Welcome to the pre-school/school-aged kiddo check-in!

This check-in is for all you ladies with pre-school aged and school-aged kids. @MoreThanSparrows08 and myself co-run this check-in, so feel free to PM either of us if you have any questions. Our goal with this check-in is to have a space to come brag about our kids, vent as needed, ask questions or share concerns, and share this experience of being a loss mom with fellow loss moms who can relate.

And a quick apology - this will be a post and run today. We are hopefully getting an offer in on a new house this afternoon, so it has been a bit crazy! Hope you all had a good week and I will be back in later to chat more.

Milestones:

Challenges:

Cute/Funny Stories:

QOTW: What sort of family traditions do you do or would you like to start for Easter? Do you include the Easter Bunny? How about Easter Egg Hunts?

skategirl128 · April 2014

Milestones: none yet but we have his first soccer game on Saturday! Other than just usual kindergarten stuff.

Challenges: he's been so easy the last couple weeks! No challenges this week other than our usual struggle with trying to gain weight (at 6 he only weighs 35 pounds).

Cute/Funny Stories: he's such a caring little guy! SO had a root canal last week and DS has been such a good nurse! He got SO water and shared his pudding. So sweet! Love my boys!

QOTW: What sort of family traditions do you do or would you like to start for Easter? Do you include the Easter Bunny? How about Easter Egg Hunts?
We color eggs and the Easter bunny visits us on Easter morning. We also have an egg hunt. We've done a lot of spring crafts to celebrate also. My SO is Jewish so we are also celebrating Passover. We celebrate both traditions and it's been working well for us.

MoreThanSparrows08 · April 2014

@stefuge Thanks for the check-in! And good luck with the house!

Milestones: My youngest is learning how to ride his bike without training wheels! He did it for a few seconds the other day, but crashed, so DH lifted the training wheels on his bike for him so that he can learn to balance better without falling over. My oldest is way past his reading goal for this 9-weeks! The students in our district earn points for reading and testing on books, and his goal was 12, and I think he's at like 22.5 or something like that! I'm so stinking proud of him!

Challenges: My oldest still struggles with inpulsivity, so we're working on that. My youngest has this really bad habit of whining (moreso when he's tired) about what he wants or doesn't like or whatever. I'm trying to get him to understand that he doesn't get anything when he whines, but I'm open to any other tips and tricks to help him quit - that drives me insane!!

I'm also hoping you ladies can help me with something. I'm going to be getting a memorial tattoo for the loss of our twins, but it will be more visible than my other 3. I'm perfectly ok explaining it to grown-ups, but since I haven't told my boys about our loss, I'm not sure what I should tell them when they ask what it is/means. Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

Cute/Funny Stories: Outside our apartment complex, we have a multitude of Bluebonnets (the Texas state flower). Technically you're not allowed to pick them unless they are on your property OR you have permission from the property owner. My boys have taken to picking a few (like two or three) every couple of days to bring to me. I have a vase (rather a plastic Phineas & Ferb cup) next to my sink to hold them all. It's the sweetest thing ever!

QOTW: What sort of family traditions do you do or would you like to start for Easter? Do you include the Easter Bunny? How about Easter Egg Hunts? We don't do the Easter bunny, but we do do (haha I said do-do!! LOL) egg hunts. We go out to my family's in the late morning, and then to DH's family's for the early afternoon. My step-sister is also hosting an Easter party at their new house about 45 minutes away, and while I'd love to go, I just can't - there isn't enough time in the day...

HoolahZinger · April 2014

We are just about to sign up our daughter to pre-school. Cue weepy face! But I am excited to have a little bit of morning calm and I know she is going to absolutely love it. Milestones: I guess the biggest one will be that she can go to preschool! Challenges: She's starting to be defiant even though she knows it's wrong (drawing on her hands with pen and spreading brother's cheerios all over the floor). It's frustrating talking over and over about the same issues. Cute/Funny Stories: She said buy to grandma and that she'd see her next Thursday (grandma is a few blocks away and she sees her every few days). QOTW: What sort of family traditions do you do or would you like to start for Easter? Do you include the Easter Bunny? How about Easter Egg Hunts? We go to church Easter morning (after scoping out the easter baskets) in fancy dresses and then do a big family dinner. The bunny might be included in the basket but that's it. The dress up photo bunnies creep me out. Totally going to do an egg hunt!

longcat07 · April 2014

hi all...i'm new as of today, and DS was 4 last week, so i figured i'd poke my head in here.

Milestones: he's started singing and lying recently. well, the singing is more toneless chanting (or waaaaay off-key, if not completely toneless), but still, progress. and lying isn't a good thing, but i understand it's still an important developmental milestone.

Challenges: DS is suspected to have some signs of SPD by the early childhood special education team in our school district (no formal diagnosis yet) and has made progress in some areas with his special "threeschool" class, but none in others. his 4-year well child appointment is may 1, so i'll be bringing it up with his doctor to see if we can get some outside OT for him. he has zero impulse control and both tactile-seeking and sensitive behaviors depending on the situation, plus a whole host of other tactile-derived issues (including ones that severely affect his eating habits, and interfere with potty training as well), and some auditory as well. he's a great kid and most people would think we just don't discipline him at all if they didn't know him or us...believe me, we've tried everything.

Cute/Funny Stories: i was laying on the couch today because i'm cramping pretty badly still, and he brought me his favorite blanket and covered me up to help me feel better. he's so sweet sometimes. (a little stinker most of the time though, lol.)

QOTW: we do an egg hunt at home, and the easter bunny leaves stuff in our baskets as well. the bunny leaves me and my partner fancy chocolate items and DS toys, books, and sometimes things like bubbles, pajamas, sandals, sunglasses, or maybe a sucker. the candy is always in the eggs. last year was the first time he "met" the easter bunny, at the municipal egg hunt. he was kind of shy/afraid at first, but with a little persuasion and bribery, he came around and thought the bunny was great. she thought he was great too. lol

last year, with the easter bunny (yes i know, he has very pretty and rather girly hair...i can't bring myself to cut it):

srcr2011 · April 2014

Good luck with house!!!!!

Milestones: He is in the "why, mommy/daddy?" phase. EVERY answer we give him to his previous question starts a new question with "but why?" (eg in cute/funny stories).

Challenges: Transferring him into his own room. I am taking baby steps to ease him into his own bed ( we tried tucking him in bed, reading stories and staying until he would fall asleep, we tried putting him in his room "cold turkey" and both were not successful). I cuddle with him on the couch until he falls asleep and we move him into his room. Some days he wakes up happy and excited and tells us he likes his room. Other days, he throws a tantrum and hold a grudge when he wakes up in there alone or just comes to our room at 3am. We talk about it in a positive way all the time and try to make it fun. I don't know what else to do anymore. We NEED him out of ours!

Cute/Funny Stories: The other day he asked me if I was a dog. I told him no. He asked why, and I told him because God made me a human being. He asked again, "why mom?". I told him because God wanted me to be a human being. He stopped, looked confused and then replied "Mommy, you're a bean?!?"

QOTW: What sort of family traditions do you do or would you like to start for Easter? Do you include the Easter Bunny? How about Easter Egg Hunts?

We usually do an Easter egg hunt with MH family and take my sister's son with us. More kids there = more fun. We usually do a lunch with my parents and spend the rest of the time with the ILs doing a BBQ. We have a fun/easy hunt for the little kids with lots of candy and have a golden egg hunt for the teens with the one and only golden egg. The adults usually put in 10 bucks each (comes out to a very nice golden egg) and hide it in a VERY hard to find place. Once, my BIL thought it would be funny to put dog poop inside the golden egg. He held onto the cash and handed it over the cash to winner later. We include the Easter bunny for fun, but also explain the real reason for Easter and they know the truth. Same with Christmas and Santa.

jonahsma · April 2014

Milestones: For the past week DS has been letting me know when he has a dirty diaper. He will come up and say "diaper" SOOOOO I think it's time to start potty training,yay!

Challenges: Brushing teeth

He hates it. In order to get a good brush in I have to practically hold him down, its a workout and he's a strong boy.

Cute/Funny Stories: Everytime we pass by boomers arcade he yells DISNEYLAND!!!

It's a big castle right off of the freeway and he thinks its Disney.

QOTW: What sort of family traditions do you do or would you like to start for Easter? We go to church and then to my sisters house for a barbeque, some games and an Easter egg hunt. my mom usually stuffs an egg full of cash and us "big kids" hunt it down.

DS has never dyed eggs (he has an egg allergy) . This year he will I found dyable plastic eggs at Walmart! Im so excited

Do you include the Easter Bunny? We put a chocolate bunny in the kids' baskets

stefuge · April 2014

@skategirl128 - Is your DS enjoying soccer? We talked about putting DS1 in soccer this year (he will be 4 in June) but decided he is still a little young (and timid!). Probably next year.

@dillngr9 - glad the pre-K conference went well! We have DS1's IEP coming up in a few weeks, and I am anxious to hear what his teachers have to say! Did his teacher have any suggestions for helping him to verbalize better? DS1 tends to get stuck when he is trying to say a longer sentence, and he will stop and start over, and then stop and start over. His speech teacher has helped him with really thinking about what is he going to say, taking a deep breath, and then trying again, and it seems to be helping him.

@MoreThanSparrows08 - good job with the bike riding and the reading! That is awesome! DS1 has been asking for a big boy bike, so I think we may be getting that for him for his birthday in June. We'll see. He also asks for a Jeep, so, yeah... No real advice on the tattoo, and what to say to the kids. Do they have to know it has special significance, at least for now? Once they are older, you could explain more? That's tough.

@HoolahZinger - Pre-school was such a big transition for us - and almost more so for me than for DS1! He loved it and adjusted really well, I had a tough time leaving him with strangers and trusting he would be okay, but I've been assured that is pretty normal. Now that we are more used to this schedule, it is great to have that time without him in the morning, and it is great for him to have the time with friends and everything at school. Are you planning to start her soon? Or waiting for the fall?

@longcat07 - Welcome to the check-in and also, I am so sorry for your loss. Big ((Hugs)). We have started to see some of the lying, as you said, and it is tough! We have really tried to explain that what he is doing is lying and it's not okay, and he will be disciplined if he keeps doing it. Parenting is not easy!

@srcr2011 - Oh, the "why?" phase - it is driving me crazy! We are right in the midst of all those questions too and some days, I want to pull my hair out! I love that he is so curious, and that he is talking so well, and asking questions, and I try to focus on that instead of how crazy it makes me!

@jonahsma - that is great that he is telling you about needing his diaper changed! That was one of the hardest things with potty training for us - he was fine wearing his diapers dirty or wet, and he wore cloth diapers, so it should have been even more noticeable! GL with that - it isn't easy, but it is definitely worth it!

My update:

Milestones: The weather here has been crazy warm lately, and this past week, DH and DS1 jumped in the pool one afternoon. Last summer, we really started working on swimming with DS1, but he was very hesitant. This past week, he jumped right in and started dog paddling all over the place! I was so proud of him!

Challenges: DS1 has been having a hard time again with separation anxiety and school lately, and I do not know why. He has been doing fine with me leaving him, and had no tears or clinginess for months, and then a month or so ago, he started telling me he wanted to come home with me, and then would hang on my leg, and it has increased more and more until this week, he would start crying and his teacher would have to hold him while I left the classroom. They tell me he is fine once I leave, and he will tell me he had fun when I pick him up, but it is tough. I have asked the teacher if anything has happened to upset him, I've asked him, but nothing. I'm hoping he just needs a little break and some time at home this next week will help.

Cute/Funny Story: So, these past few months I have been trying to get healthier and have been exercising more, and one thing I do fairly regularly is an ab/strength workout video. So, this week, DS1 decided to exercise with me, and DH made him little hand weights to hold like I have, and he did the whole video with me! And then the next day, he wanted to exercise again, and when I told him I was going to go for a run instead, he wanted to exercise on his own, so I turned on the video for him, and he did the whole thing by himself. And it is hilarious to watch him attempt some of the stretches and such!

QOTW: We will usually do an Easter egg hunt and get him an Easter Basket with some treats, but DS1 knows it is all from us. We don't really include the Easter Bunny. He hears it a lot from school, but we teach him what the holiday is about, and that the other stuff is just for fun.

skategirl128 · April 2014

@skategirl128 - Is your DS enjoying soccer? We talked about putting DS1 in soccer this year (he will be 4 in June) but decided he is still a little young (and timid!). Probably next year.

@stefuge‌ he loves soccer! He was in a learn to play class since he was three but is now on a real team in the u8 division. So much fun! And it makes him tired so that's a plus!

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