Blended Families
freeatlast2014
member
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Can I pick your brains (re: visitation)
freeatlast2014
member
I have a TRO presently. It has been amended now 3 times. The 3rd time I went to amend it the hearing officer took 1 look out our visitation schedule and hated it. We only made arrangements until we reached our court date and that date got pushed back another week. So while I was there, she talked to the judge and they decided to give STBXH EOW and dinner twice per week. They ended up taking away his overnights during the week. He was served on Friday with the new restraining order. His first dinner was this Tuesday. He was instructed to pick up the kids at 4pm and return them to me (at police station) at 6:30. I got a call at 6pm when the daycare closed that my children were still there. I was devastated because my instincts told me to call and double check, I told daycare to call me if they weren't picked up by 4:30, and I assumed since I didn't hear from the daycare that all was ok.
(I should also add, another time I text him on Wed. reminding him to pick the kids up at daycare at 4 and he went to the police station and I didn't get his call until 5pm! Also leaving the kids at daycare way later than they needed to be).
I digress. Anyway, my kids are 3 and 18m. They have been tremendously impacted by the domestic violence in this house and the dissolution of our family. I think this schedule works. However, 1 judge ruled on a schedule (that technically we poorly negotiated with our lawyers) and then days later another judge (who will be hearing our divorce) changed it. Do you think that is a good sign? Is it possible to just go with this for now...continue with EOW and dinner twice per week? What else do I need to consider in my negotiations? What are your thoughts?
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Re: Can I pick your brains (re: visitation)
Personally, if he is not taking advantage of his weeknight opportunities, I would go for EOW only - unless he is legitimately trying to work extra or something to make a better single-parent start for his kids, KWIM. Make sure you can document when he does and does not take advantage of his weeknight visitation.
I'm sure your daycare has a sign-out log that would show who picked up and at what time. Also save any texts (not on your phone, put them on your computer/print them out), emails, and send summary emails following verbal conversations to yourself, X, and attorneys all at once. Keep track of dates and times and any way you have to prove those dates and times are accurate.