It's my husbands birthday

ErikaLynn75 · April 2014

And I honestly don't care. It's actually on Saturday. So I still have 2 days to get him a present, but I really can't think about anything other than going home and taking a nap when I leave work in the afternoons. Is it bad if I just write him a check and tell him to go buy it himself? Or better yet, I could just transfer the money from my account to his online and then tell him what I was going to get him (it was gonna be a gift card anyway, so that's almost the same right?)

Also, he's planning a party tomorrow night with some friends who also have early April birthdays. It's kind of a tradition, but it's in our hometown 5 hours away. It's been on the calendar for weeks, and this will be our last trip home before baby comes. A lot of my friends are planning on coming to his party (it's just a night out at our favorite bar, really) so they can see me. And I REALLY just don't want to go. Not even a little.

TL;DR: Am I a bad wife if I don't get DH a birthday present, and then stay home alone this weekend while he drives 5 hours to our hometown to celebrate his birthday with people who obviously love him more than me?

Kaylee524 · April 2014

I am in a similar boat. DH's birthday is the Saturday after next - April 19th. He actually told me he doesn't expect a present this year since we're so busy with getting everything ready for the baby. He does keep pining to go home and go fishing with his dad and brothers this weekend, but I told him I wasn't travelling 4.5 hours one way when I'm past 36 weeks pregnant, so he decided not to go. I feel bad because he does it every year, but I just really don't think it's a good idea for me to go.

Hopefully your hubby understands.

I am probably just going to get DH a card and some of his favorite candy and maybe make him a birthday pie.

MrsT2008 · April 2014

Can you just talk to him? My birthday is on Monday and MH has asked me no less than 5 times what he can get me or do for me (and my answer is always the same which is that I don't want anything other than some sleep (which he can't help with anyway). We've never had expectations that we have to think of gifts on our own.

oscarwao · April 2014

You've got a pretty viable excuse to step out on the party. But I would get a gift or card, do something to show you care. If my birthday were totally ignored by my spouse on both fronts I'd be pretty hurt, and birthday are generally NBD to me. My DHs birthday is this month and I hit up Amazon since I am too tired to physically shop.

bumpuser9353653 · April 2014

I can understand not wanting to drive 5 hours away, but you said your friends wanted to see you too, so it's not like they only care about your husband and not you.
Just tell him you're too uncomfortable to drive that far and that he should go have fun even if you don't go.

But TBH, transferring money or writing him a check just sounds lazy to me, sorry. He's your husband, not your sibling.

You could make a little IOU certificate or something similar. I'm sure he'd appreciate it even if you don't hand him the actual gift you planned on getting him. Also, they sell gift cards everywhere, so not sure why it'd be that hard to swing by and grab one. Unless it's for a specialty store that's out of the way to get to...which brings me back to a cute IOU card.

boymum2014 · April 2014

Shop online...simple!

ErikaLynn75 · April 2014

I was kidding about just writing him a check or transferring money. I know that's horrible and impersonal, and I wouldn't do that even for my siblings. I would shop online, but I actually do have an idea of something to get him. My idea is a gift card for a shooting range that is kind of out of the way for me, and since we're leaving right after work tomorrow, that means I have to go get it today and I'm just dreading it. Also because I've never been there at all and don't really know where I'm going. I just wish I had done it last week when I wasn't so uncomfortable.

Anyway, thanks for the advice. He has stepped up and done a lot for me the last 7 months, and I needed a kick in the ass just now.

I'm thinking I might survive the 5 hour road trip if I sit in the back seat. But whenever I get tired I'm peacing out of this party. I'll put his sister in charge of getting DH back to his parents house at the end of the night.

sammy.k · April 2014

I bet a BJ would suffice.

ErikaLynn75 · April 2014

sammy.k said:

I bet a BJ would suffice.

LOL You're probably right, but that's not happening either.

Shell+Bell · April 2014

I must be really awful, but we don't do anything for birthdays. Always treated it as more of a kids celebration. We don't even do cards. Some years we will go away for a mini vacay, but we haven't done that in a few years. All we do to celebrate is dinner out, or a nice dinner in.

Jillzy86 · April 2014

It depends on what your relationship is like. I know my DH would be hurt if I didn't do a single thing and didn't care and I know I would be hurt if rolls were reversed. Something small and thoughtful is always nice. Ordering something on amazon takes very little time and going out with friends will be fun once you are out, you can always skip out early if he wants to stay out late and celebrate with his friends.

ErikaLynn75 · April 2014

I feel extra guilty about it, because I've had money stashed away to do something special for his birthday ever since Christmas. I saved a lot of money before Christmas to buy him a handgun, but then I asked my dad to help me pick it out, and it was right at the time we announced we were pregnant, so my dad wouldn't let me pay him for it. So I held on to that money with the intention of splurging for his birthday. But I just don't have the energy for it right now.

I ended up driving over to a shooting range after work and getting him a gift card that will cover a few hours of range time plus a class if he wants to take one. I feel like a gift card is impersonal, but I didn't want to commit to a full year membership in case he prefers the other range in town. Hopefully it will be a good way for him to get out of the house and blow off some steam after the baby is here.

Unknown · April 2014

This content has been removed.

Want a personalized experience?

It's my husbands birthday

Re: It's my husbands birthday

Choose Another Board

Search Boards