15 month old hitting and throwing

Addy1227 · April 2014

For the most part LO is very well tempered, especially around other people but lately at home I just don't know what to do sometimes. Whenever he's not allowed to do something, or he's overwhelmed/frustrated, he deliberately hits and throws things at the closest person to him (usually me). I've tried distracting him but that doesn't seem to work. It's very frustrating; I don't know how to handle it and it seems to be getting worse. We don't hit or throw things in the house so I'm not sure why he does it so often. Any suggestions as to how to deter the behavior? Anyone go through the same thing at this age, when did they outgrow/stop doing it? TIA!!

beckcour · April 2014

I would love to hear some suggestions on how to deter this. We're in the same boat. DD only hits me or my DH and it's always after we've told her we can't do something. It's always a big surprise when they haul off and wallop you. I've been taking her hand, looking her in the eye and saying in a stern voice, "We do not hit. We use our words." It doesn't seem to be helping at all.

minervacullen · April 2014

I started putting DD in time out because she was hitting DS so often. He's so good about it, but he'd get really hurt. I tell her that she's a naughty girl and she needs to be a good girl. I place her in the corner and walk away. It actually works. She cries for a minute and then runs and gives us hugs and says " good girl" while nodding. Of course she still does it occasionally, but way less.0

I also have had luck with ignoring it, but only if it isn't painful, I can't ignore that. Try taking his hand and petting your face while saying gentle.

pb_bride · April 2014

DS is 17m and we went through a phase of throwing recently. I'm pretty sure I posted a thread here about it. He does that when he gets mad. It is just a phase and I assure you that it gets better. What I do when he throws is take away the item he is throwing, and acknowledging the fact that he is angry (for whatever reason). Then I move him to a different spot in the house and distract. Sometimes it works, sometimes it doesn't. Other times if he just throws without any reason, I choose to ignore him.

Heyjordynhey · April 2014

I feel like I could of typed this myself truthfully. Ds is 15 months as well and is doing this same thing, but to others not just me and dh. I do what pp does and I put him in a chair or on the couch for time out I don't talk to him look at him nothing but if he tried to get up I'll put him siting back down. He's only in there a min and half then till he calms down from crying. I've been told that it's just a stage and I hope so!

Hollylb3 · April 2014

It's just a phase. We just take DS's hands, and say firmly "don't hit." Other than that and time out, there's not much more you can do. It'll pass.

dunlapbriggs · April 2014

I seriously had to double check to see if I wrote this post and then forgot about it. I'm in the same boat as many of you (thank goodness I'm not alone) - If the behavior is bad enough we use time out (for a minute or so) but my main line of defense is a good offense - I make it very clear what 'nice' behavior is and praise him well for it. I am hoping soon he will see the benefits of not hitting/throwing.

traveltheworld · April 2014

DS did this for a while. Every time he did it, I would look him in the eye and very calmly say "we do not hit/throw, that hurt mommy. Now please apologize." We taught him that he can either apologize by signing "sorry", or he can apologize by giving a hug. If he threw something, he needs to apologize by bringing that item back. Typically he'd refuse to apologize, then I'd get up and walk away. Usually at this point he'd start to cry and throw a tantrum, and that gets ignored. In the beginning the crying/tantrum lasted 10+ minutes, but it got progressively shorter. Once he has calmed down, I'd ask for a hug. Usually he'd give me one at that point, and I once again calmly explain that hitting is not nice. And if he threw something, at this point we'd go retrieve that item together. I always make sure he gets lots of hugs and kisses once the episode is over.

We did that consistently and I made a point to tell all his care-takers to do exactly the same thing. He stopped after about a month. He still occasionally hits, but generally it's because he is fighting with another child over a toy (which we don't tolerate either).

traveltheworld · April 2014

I wanted to add what you do really needs to depend on how your child is like. I know the same strategy that works with DS didn't work for other kids. DS hates it when we don't pay him attention, so me (calmly) walking away was very effective and nothing else was needed.

Addy1227 · April 2014

We'll I'm glad to hear that it is a common thing and hopefully a phase!! Aside from trying to distract, which rarely works with anything, I gently take his hands or show him with my hands how to do nice and pet whatever he's hit in frustration. That seems to work for him, he then gently pets whatever he hit and goes 'nie'.

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