So do I need to join AA?

Re: So do I need to join AA?

• mschoepp member

  April 2014

  justAphase said:

  You don't drink enough.
  

  That is my thought most days. 
  

  

  My two Angel Babies

  Ectopic Pgcy 10/1/11

  MC 11/8/12

  
  

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• Maebb member

  April 2014

  I think you're fine.
  
  Your H saying this to you after he gets home from the bar is like DH commenting on my driving when I'm the DD. "Shut up, you're drunk."

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• mschoepp member

  April 2014

  WhoCanItBeNow said:

  You didn't murder him with a look of death? You have a lot of restraint. You should have some wine to celebrate.
  
  

  He ran into the bathroom after he said it, so the ugly wallpaper in our bedroom got the look of death instead.  Believe me, the open bottle in my fidge is lookin pretty damn tempting right now, but heaven forbid I play into his accusations and prove him right.

  
  

  

  My two Angel Babies

  Ectopic Pgcy 10/1/11

  MC 11/8/12

  
  

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• mschoepp member

  April 2014

  ThisIsBrea said:

  Your H sounds like a douche who was just throwing cheap shots to try and win a fight.

  That's normal unfortunately.  The whole argument started when I mentioned how tired, stressed out and ugly I have been feeling lately (yay new mom feels) and he immediately turned it around to how I haven't found a new job yet and I have no drive and it's basically my fault that we are having money issues.  Nothing is ever his fault.   
  

  

  My two Angel Babies

  Ectopic Pgcy 10/1/11

  MC 11/8/12

  
  

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• angelashly member

  April 2014

  Sitting next to @ThisIsBrea‌ with my pretend wine. Come join us.

  
  

  
  
  

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• mschoepp member

  April 2014

  angelashly said:

  Sitting next to @ThisIsBrea‌ with my pretend wine. Come join us.

  Can I put apple juice in a wine glass and see if H says anything when he gets home?
  

  

  My two Angel Babies

  Ectopic Pgcy 10/1/11

  MC 11/8/12

  
  

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• angelashly member

  April 2014

  ThisIsBrea said:

  mschoepp said:

  
  

  angelashly said:

  
  

  Sitting next to @ThisIsBrea‌ with my pretend wine. Come join us.

  
  

  Can I put apple juice in a wine glass and see if H says anything when he gets home?
  

  But then you're dirtying a wine glass for no reason.
  
  I'm with @mrsbutt on this one actually. Sounds like something deeper is going on. I'm sorry your H is being a douche.
  
  Ditto. Sounds like wine glass abuse.

  
  

  
  
  

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• TiffanyBerry member

  April 2014

  ThisIsBrea said:

  Sounds like something deeper is going on. I'm sorry your H is being a douche.

  This. I'm sorry he's being a asshat.

  
  

  Maybe make him come with you to your next pediatrician's appointment to ask?  Or show him online the recommendations?

  
  

  

  

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• RondackHiker member

  April 2014

  I'd show him the recommendations online vs asking the pediatrician. Not all doctors, even pediatricians, are up to date on the drinking/BFing recommendations.

  
  

  
  

   

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• mschoepp member

  April 2014

  
  

  RondackHiker said:

  I'd show him the recommendations online vs asking the pediatrician. Not all doctors, even pediatricians, are up to date on the drinking/BFing recommendations.

  Anything I use to argue my side is just "him not having a say in anything." I have done the research, I'm not being reckless, I'm a good mom damnit.  I hate when he makes me question that.
  

  

  My two Angel Babies

  Ectopic Pgcy 10/1/11

  MC 11/8/12

  
  

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• LaurelBee member

  April 2014 edited April 2014

  Deleted.

  

  
  

  It takes a special amount of bitch to induce menstruation in another person. - LovelyRitaMeterMaid
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• MrsT0514 member

  April 2014

  Im sorry you're dealing with this horseshit. I have no words. Your husband sounds like hes being a selfish douche from what you've posted.
  
  Way to call the kettle black and complain about your wife's drinking habits after you were knocking a few back at the bar.
  
  Fuck that shit. You are doing nothing wrong, and you're a wonderful mom. You're not drinking all Willy nilly while BFing your kid. Your husband is acting like an asshat.
  
  I say no to the apple juice in a wine glass. Pour yourself a glass of wine and see what tune he sings. He needs to get over himself.

  

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• nurrieum member

  April 2014

  My Father is horrible alcoholic, my Mother is a drug and alcohol treatment social worker... My childhood was interesting.

  
  

  
  It was always put to me as: what is your dependency on alcohol as a whole and can you stop at an appropriate point. I don't think a few glasses of wine a week falls into this category. That isn't binge drinking, that isn't functional alcoholism, that's occasional enjoyment of a beverage. I'm sorry it sounds like it was shitty fight. 

  
  

  
  

  
  

  http://nurrieum.weebly.com  

  (Jar of Bees- Le Blog)

  
  
  

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• LuckyDad member

  April 2014

  mschoepp said:

  Kids.  I have 1 or 2 glasses of wine with dinner once or twice a week, and wait about an hour to feed my kid.  I'm not killing a bottle in the afternoon while watching soaps.  Am I overreacting or is he right?  Am I on the fast track to becoming a homeless wino?

  Assuming you are being honest with yourself about your consumption, this is not problematic. Plenty of women who nurse drink this much, although some choose to pump and dump.

  
  

  It sounds like you and your husband need to have a talk about whatever else is going on right now. Money stress can be really hard on couples.

  

  -My son was born in April 2012. He pretty much rules.
  

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• aglenn member

  April 2014

  Yeah, as a general rule I think that anyone who has leftover wine in the fridge does not have a problem with alcohol, because if you did that bottle would be empty.  I agree with others that alcohol isn't the real issue, though.  Seems like your DH is choosing to use that because it's convenient rather than focusing on whatever is really going on.

  

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• bulbasaur359 member

  April 2014

  I am sorry you had to deal with that. He wasn't being a supportive husband. You are not drinking too much. 

  
  

  My FIL was an alcoholic. I had the displeasure of living with him for awhile. You'd think his glass of what looked like ice water was nothing. It was vodka. He'd get plastered every night after work then turn into a raging dick. His excuse was that his wife my MIL had a terminal illness. Pick's disease which is basically symptomatic like Alzheimer's but in your 50's. His drinking eventually ended up with him committing suicide after he got into a fender bender in the work van then running bc the other driver smelt alcohol on him. Luckily DH didn't find him but my FIL's boss did. Sadly this was awhile before I got married and had DD.

  
  

  Sorry for the anecdote OP but you are far from needing AA and I hope your DH really apologizes and makes it up to you b/c that was shitty.

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• mschoepp member

  April 2014

  Thanks everyone, I'm still pretty steamed, especially since he isn't home yet. His truck has been parked down the road at a friend's house for the last 2.5 hours. Bet he is having a few guit-free drinks with the boys. Guess I'm sleeping in the guest room tonight.

  

  My two Angel Babies

  Ectopic Pgcy 10/1/11

  MC 11/8/12

  
  

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• ShakeyJakey member

  April 2014

  Did his mother tell him that you drink too much? My mil is of the same opinion.

  Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

  
  

  There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
  Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
  Without you I'll never make it out alive
  But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
  

  -----------------------------------------------------------------------

  J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 

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• nurrieum member

  April 2014

  mschoepp said:

  Thanks everyone, I'm still pretty steamed, especially since he isn't home yet. His truck has been parked down the road at a friend's house for the last 2.5 hours. Bet he is having a few guit-free drinks with the boys. Guess I'm sleeping in the guest room tonight.

  Wait a minute--- why do you sleep in the guest room?????????????????? That feels like insult to injury to me. 
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  http://nurrieum.weebly.com  

  (Jar of Bees- Le Blog)

  
  
  

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• mschoepp member

  April 2014

  ShakeyJakey said:

  Did his mother tell him that you drink too much? My mil is of the same opinion.

  
  He has no mother (passed away when he was a baby) so this is aaallllllll him.

  

  My two Angel Babies

  Ectopic Pgcy 10/1/11

  MC 11/8/12

  
  

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• mschoepp member

  April 2014

  nurrieum said:

  mschoepp said:

  Thanks everyone, I'm still pretty steamed, especially since he isn't home yet. His truck has been parked down the road at a friend's house for the last 2.5 hours. Bet he is having a few guit-free drinks with the boys. Guess I'm sleeping in the guest room tonight.

  Wait a minute--- why do you sleep in the guest room?????????????????? That feels like insult to injury to me. 
  

  
  My choice, I'd rather not be in the room.

  

  My two Angel Babies

  Ectopic Pgcy 10/1/11

  MC 11/8/12

  
  

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• ShakeyJakey member

  April 2014

  mschoepp said:

  
  

  ShakeyJakey said:

  
  

  Did his mother tell him that you drink too much? My mil is of the same opinion.

  
  

  
  
  
  He has no mother (passed away when he was a baby) so this is aaallllllll him.
  
  Uhh wow. I would be ready to take a girls night out and leave him with the baby.

  Harry Styles = Life Ruiner

  
  

  There’s a lightning in your eyes I can't deny
  Then there’s me inside a sinking boat running out of time
  Without you I'll never make it out alive
  But I know, yes, I know we’ll be alright
  

  -----------------------------------------------------------------------

  J. 1.14.13 my reason for breathing 

  Report0 Reply
• nurrieum member

  April 2014

  mschoepp said:

  nurrieum said:

  mschoepp said:

  Thanks everyone, I'm still pretty steamed, especially since he isn't home yet. His truck has been parked down the road at a friend's house for the last 2.5 hours. Bet he is having a few guit-free drinks with the boys. Guess I'm sleeping in the guest room tonight.

  Wait a minute--- why do you sleep in the guest room?????????????????? That feels like insult to injury to me. 
  

  
  My choice, I'd rather not be in the room.

  Okay, that I get. I'm really sorry you're dealing with this right now

  
  

  
  

  
  

  http://nurrieum.weebly.com  

  (Jar of Bees- Le Blog)

  
  
  

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• jillyjill1026sr member

  April 2014

  Nothing to add except more reassurance. You are drinking responsibly while BF and that's awesome! I BF for 15 months and my husband never said anything about my (light) drinking. In fact, DD would be on the boob while he was opening/pouring my wine! I agree that the fight stems from a much bigger issue. You have a lot on your plate right now and you deserve a little enjoyment, too.

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