Community› The Bump Month Clubs› April 2014 Moms
April 2014 Moms
New Discussion

1st time breast feeding fear.

allisshineyallisshiney member
in April 2014 Moms
I have yet to voice this fear out loud. I'm scared of the very 1st time I breastfeed my baby. I don't want anyone but my husband there but there will potentially be my mom, friend and midwives present. It actually scares me more than labour (how's that for perspective?). I'm the type of person who hates being akward at something and I'm not a patient student. It makes me feel very vulnerable. Any advice?
Report Reply to Post

Re: 1st time breast feeding fear.

  • Elf2718Elf2718 member
    No advice....just need to voice agreement in the fear.
    Report Reply
  • Loading the player...
  • kseccomb17kseccomb17 member
    It gets easier. You and baby are learning together. Not sure how many ftms are pro's. STM here and I'm no pro. You'll be fine mama.
    Report Reply
  • fllgstr8fllgstr8 member
    You CAN tell people to leave for a little while you and baby get aquatinted. It's perfectly fine. I did with my first and was a lot more relaxed and receptive to instruction and help because I wasn't "on stage"
    Report Reply
  • *sparky**sparky* member
    Ditto @ColleenSwerb‌ . Tell them to get out. I remember when I first had DS at home and I was trying to get him to latch. I looked up and DH and MIL had walked into the room were both staring at me. I just said "can we have some privacy please?" And they left. I mean I don't need MIL staring at my boobs.

    You will be ok, but if you don't want an audience it is ok to say so.

     

    Report Reply
  • mbethmcgillmbethmcgill member
    I think it won't be that bad in the moment. I'm usually very private and sure the first time I fed my sons I was thankful to have a bit of help.
    Report Reply
  • RrrrrachelRrrrrachel member
    Throw people out or put your husband in charge of throwing people out.
    Mama to a little girl born July 2011 and a little boy born April 2014! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • mrsB68mrsB68 member
    Our hospital asks people to leave when feeding. The parents can say it's ok but at least the hospital initiates it. Maybe you can tell the nurses ahead to do that?
    Check out my blog! http://modcupcakes.wordpress.com
    Report Reply
  • homedivahomediva member
    I think in the moment you'll be so excited to feed your baby you won't mind! Just ask for some privacy. The first latch isn't that big a deal - no one is expecting perfection and it's not like your milk comes out flowing. Baby will know what to do - and so will you!
    BabyFruit Ticker   AlternaTickers - Cool, free Web tickers
    image
    Report Reply
  • MamamonzoMamamonzo member
    If it makes you uncomfortable asking people to leave have you nurses do it. I had a friend that had a code phrase with her nurse. If she aske for a Mt. Dew it meant kick everyone out of the room. That way you don't look like the bad guy.

    But I would want a nurse/midwife/LC they are so helpful and can teach you a lot!

     

    image

     

    image

     

     

    BabyFetus Ticker

    Report Reply
  • MissWhisMissWhis member
    I was super nervous about breastfeeding, too, but at the moment it first happened (c- section recovery room) I was just so overwhelmed with everything and in awe of my new baby that it didn't even register as weird or scary like I thought it might. Also, it's pretty impressive to see this tiny newborn know how to latch on and start sucking. The way you feel about the breastfeeding experience now -thinking about in an abstract sense - is likely to be very different than how you will feel about it in the actual moment.

    Totally understandable about not wanting an "audience," but nurses, midwives, etc are very helpful. Positioning takes some getting used to and they can give some pointers that will save you a lot of the frustration you may experience trying to wing it without assistance.

    I'm sure you'll do great! Good luck.
    Report Reply
  • deidremariadeidremaria member
    Mamamonzo said:

    If it makes you uncomfortable asking people to leave have you nurses do it. I had a friend that had a code phrase with her nurse. If she aske for a Mt. Dew it meant kick everyone out of the room. That way you don't look like the bad guy.

    But I would want a nurse/midwife/LC they are so helpful and can teach you a lot!

    That's a great idea! I'm gonna come up with a code like that withy CNM not for breast feeding but for when my family is driving me nuts.
    Report Reply
  • allisshineyallisshiney member
    Thanks guys. I think I will bring it up with my midwife at my next appointment... And tell my husband. That way one or the other can politely clear the room. I am planning a home birth so unfortunately I can't count on a stern voiced nurse to butt her nose in and clear house. Lol. Maybe I could hire an actor? :)
    Report Reply
  • RrrrrachelRrrrrachel member
    My nurse was a lot like @ColleenSwerb‌ describes. She did ask before she grabbed my boob but she was very hands on and I was grateful! It didn't come as naturally as I expected. The nurse was also much more forceful getting her on there than I would've been, so it was good to see that it was ok to really get them on there!
    Mama to a little girl born July 2011 and a little boy born April 2014! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
    Report Reply
  • chichi589chichi589 member
    As a first time breast feeding mom I wanted the help. My nurse pretty much helped him latch to as @ColleenSwerb‌ described, it wasn't awkward or anything... Are everyone in the room sees everything you have to offer your modesty kinda goes out the window lol
    Report Reply
  • MamamonzoMamamonzo member
    Rrrrrachel said:

    My nurse was a lot like @ColleenSwerb‌ describes. She did ask before she grabbed my boob but she was very hands on and I was grateful! It didn't come as naturally as I expected. The nurse was also much more forceful getting her on there than I would've been, so it was good to see that it was ok to really get them on there!

    This exactly! My nurse was so helpful! She grabbed my boob and did everything for me the first time! After you've had your vagina exposed to the world having someone helping with your boobs is NBD! I did kick everyone else out every time I fed.

     

    image

     

    image

     

     

    BabyFetus Ticker

    Report Reply
  • pineconeypineconey member
    allisshiney said:

    Thanks guys. I think I will bring it up with my midwife at my next appointment... And tell my husband. That way one or the other can politely clear the room. I am planning a home birth so unfortunately I can't count on a stern voiced nurse to butt her nose in and clear house. Lol. Maybe I could hire an actor? :)

    Gosh I'm doing a home birth but I'm not letting anyone in my house except the midwife, her assistant, DH, and the one friend I have "on call" if I need her (she has 2 kids and is pregnant with her 3rd- this will be her second home birth). That will make it easier for me to kick people out! But, I'm planning on having LO go straight to the breast before the cord is even cut, so I can't exactly have my MW leave the room... ;)

    Good luck with all of this! You are going to do great!!!!

    BFP #1 May 20, 2013        MC June 27, 2013   BFP #2 August 2, 2013   Baby Boy born 4/25/14 (3 weeks overdue!)
    image
    April 14 August Siggy Challenge- "This time last year.."
    image
    Report Reply
  • KiahsimpsonKiahsimpson member
    I didn't mind my mom and other family being in there, but I hated having the nurses in there. Me and baby were having a hard time figuring it out, but when I finally told the nurse that I wanted to try on my own, we did great.

    Y'all will get the hang of it though! You'll do great!
    Report Reply
  • Cassi215Cassi215 member
    Every time I breastfeed the twins in the hospital I asked everyone to leave so I could focus on just the babies and bonding.
    Report Reply
  • SunshinelouSunshinelou member
    You will be surprised how all of the fear and doubt go away once the baby is here. When you see how natural it is to the baby you will feel better.  Also, it is really normal to need a little advice from a nurse/midwife/lc. I have found that most people will leave the room when you say you are ready to nurse...if not get dh to ask them to step out for a few minutes.
    Report Reply
  • allisshineyallisshiney member
    pineconey said:
    Thanks guys. I think I will bring it up with my midwife at my next appointment... And tell my husband. That way one or the other can politely clear the room. I am planning a home birth so unfortunately I can't count on a stern voiced nurse to butt her nose in and clear house. Lol. Maybe I could hire an actor? :)
    Gosh I'm doing a home birth but I'm not letting anyone in my house except the midwife, her assistant, DH, and the one friend I have "on call" if I need her (she has 2 kids and is pregnant with her 3rd- this will be her second home birth). That will make it easier for me to kick people out! But, I'm planning on having LO go straight to the breast before the cord is even cut, so I can't exactly have my MW leave the room... ;) Good luck with all of this! You are going to do great!!!!

    Thank you! Good luck to you too :)
    Report Reply
  • Thorpe27Thorpe27 member
    Have the same fear, I'm planning on not telling people to come in until my baby has been washed, fed and had all newborn exams done.
    Report Reply
This discussion has been closed.
Choose Another Board
Search Boards
"
"