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Travel and Mama's boy

dashofrealitydashofreality member
in Working Moms

Um help. My DD was never clingy or mommy only, but my DS (almost 2) is going through a major mom phase. I probably have made it worse by 'giving in' and doing all bedtime routines/middle of the night wakeups, but he cries for me and won't go to sleep if I don't put him down. He doesn't reject DH, so we didn't want him to get to that point by 'forcing' him to deal with Dad putting him to bed, but now I have a little monster.

Last night he woke up when I was in the shower and he flipped out when DH went to comfort him and put him back down. He screamed for the 15 minutes or so while I finished and then stopped on a dime when I took him. But then he wouldn't let me leave without getting worked up again. Normally if teeth or allergies wake him up I go in and rock him for 2 minutes put him back to bed and that is it. I finally had to lay down outside his crib to get him back to sleep last night. This is only an issue at night, he is fine at daycare dropoff.

I'm going to be traveling for a week here shortly, and I don't know what to do. Cry it out is so much tougher with a toddler, especially because he pathetically just asks DH for mom, mom, mom, please. Not sure if I should try to get him more used to DH handling night things or if I should go cold turkey and hope it is easier when he knows I'm not around. Anyone have a similar situation or know any tricks to make this easier?

DD Nov 2010 ~ DS June 2012
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Re: Travel and Mama's boy

  • jlaOKjlaOK member
    DS was/is a huge daddy's boy and we had similar bedtime issues.  DH travels and so there were some days when DS had to be okay with the way I put him to bed even though it wasn't as "good" as DH.  DS is way better about it now.  What we did was put him to bed together but I did the majority of the work and DH was just there.  When he got used to it I would put him to bed and then DH would go in there after and say goodnight (DS would know that daddy would be in later).  Now DS is fine with either of us putting him to bed.  We usually rotate nights and the other will go do hugs and kisses after.
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  • bethann3181bethann3181 member
    Both of my DS's are like this, but I have found only when I'm around.  If I go out for a night with a friend, they don't fuss for me, and are totally fine for DH.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Hopefully this holds true when you travel too.
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  • Tink112011Tink112011 member
    bethann3181 said:
    Both of my DS's are like this, but I have found only when I'm around.  If I go out for a night with a friend, they don't fuss for me, and are totally fine for DH.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Hopefully this holds true when you travel too.

    Same for us. DS is SUCH a mama's boy.  If I'm around and DH tries to help, its "No, Mumma do it!"

    However, I'm routinely gone for work events, and DS is fine with DH as long as I'm not around.  I guess he is smart enough to know that daddy is his only option.

    DS 11.24.11
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  • MommyAttyMommyAtty member
    Same for me! DD is going through a mommy phase. But when I'm gone on work travel, she actually goes to bed even better for DH than she does for both of us when I'm home. (We do bed routine together regularly.). It happened just this week. DH gloated a little that she didn't even do her 2 minutes of fussing when it was just him.
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  • dashofrealitydashofreality member
    Thanks, this is making me feel better. We were actually considering making my MIL come because he loves his grandma, and we were envisioning him keeping DH up half the night screaming.
    DD Nov 2010 ~ DS June 2012
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  • traveltheworldtraveltheworld member
    bethann3181 said:
    Both of my DS's are like this, but I have found only when I'm around.  If I go out for a night with a friend, they don't fuss for me, and are totally fine for DH.  Out of sight, out of mind.  Hopefully this holds true when you travel too.

    This is DS too.  I feel bad for DH because DS frequently says "no Dada no Dada" and have tried to push him out of the room a few times so that he can do his bedtime stories with just me.  But when I'm not home, DH just has to take DS around the house once and convince him that mama is not home, and then DS is totally fine with just DH putting him to bed.  I purposely go to Starbucks eveyr Sunday morning for a few hours now so that DS can have some alone time wtih DH.
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  • *sparky**sparky* member
    Can you do a trial run and leave one evening to see if he would be OK with DH putting him to bed if you are not at home?  Also, DS always only wanted me to put him to bed so DH came up with something special only they did together.  I can't remember what the book was when DS was little, but for example, now that DS is older they read Harry Potter together.  DS only gets Harry Potter on nights that DH puts him to bed and he really looks forward to it.  So that has helped a ton.  So maybe they can find something special that is their thing so that DS has a reason to look forward to it?

     

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