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Baby will not co-sleep

stripes82stripes82 member
in Attachment Parenting
My baby is just over four months old.  We have always had terrible trouble getting her to sleep.  She has to be walked (for ages) and then can be placed in a cot to sleep.  She would never co sleep with us, the moment that I tried to snuggle in bed with her she wakes up and starts crying and wriggling around.  Most recently I have discovered I can put her in her cot to sleep with the light dimmed and her mobile going and she will drift off herself.  But if I try and get her to nap with me she just wont do it.  Has anyone got any idea's on how to get her to let me have sleepy nap time cuddles with her?  

She has always been a really funny baby.  She won't sit quietly on our laps, even at a week old if she was awake and not feeding then she had to be walked.  I could put her down on the floor at 2 weeks and walk away from her and she would happily amuse herself, but if I tried to cuddle her on the couch she would scream blue murder and want to be walked around the house so she could look at everything.

I know some people are thinking I'm crazy cause i'm complaining that my baby goes to sleep by herself but I feel like I have missed out on such a huge part of enjoying and loving her because she won't let me just snuggle her off to sleep.  It would be really nice if I could bed down with her for one of her naps.
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Re: Baby will not co-sleep

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  • mrsmichigandermrsmichigander member
    Part of it is personality. It's amazing how unique God has created each LO.

    They do thrive on consistency, so I would think the longer you snuggle the more likely she'll embrace/tolerate it.
    I've also found that over time they grow, and can respond to an old thing in a new way.

    I also have found BF to be able to fix almost anything. Have you nursed laying down with her? Use that to transition into naps?

    I agree though, although I'd want the cuddles, I would be careful what I wish for when breaking up a successful sleep routine.
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  • veetveetveetveet member
    Why would you want to force something she doesnt like for your sake of wanting cuddles? If she is content sleeping on her own - leave her. Cuddles will come- don't worry. Just keep loving her :)
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  • stripes82stripes82 member
    I do not want to force her, which is why I'm hoping that there will be a few good ideas to try from here.  If there is not then that is fine, I'm sure when she gets a bit older she will start wanting to have a nap with me.

    Unfortunately did not breast feed after 8 weeks due to several medications I had to go on after having her.  
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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    I think you give it a try every now and then, but when she doesn't like it, you don't force it.  Even if she's not a big cuddler now, she will find her own ways of expressing physical affection eventually.
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  • RrrrrachelRrrrrachel member
    Sounds like it's just her personality.
    Mama to a little girl born July 2011 and a little boy born April 2014! Baby Birthday Ticker Ticker
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  • kateraidkateraid member
    My son was the same and has always preferred to sleep alone. For the first six months I kept him in his own space in my room and then moved him into his own room. He goes up there on his own when he's ready for a nap or sleep at night and only naps or sleeps with me when he's sick. Don't force it! But when your LO gets bigger they will definitely show affection. My DS is super cuddly all day long.
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  • spainy17spainy17 member
    My DD won't cosleep at all, never has, even when sick. She instantly sits up and crawls all over. I Gerry my cuddles in by reading. We started sitting her on my lap and reading to her early and now she loves books and grabs them and crawls up in my lap and could read for hours. I love love love it. :-)
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  • stripes82stripes82 member
    I feel better knowing other babies are like mine! I just thought all babies should be cuddley :)
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  • ToastieSimonsToastieSimons member
    my boys don't co sleep, they HATE it.  they like to sprawl out and co sleeping was just never for them.  

    I held DS1 for all his naps though from birth to 11 months.  He finally decided he didn't mind napping in his crib at that point.  And while it was nice to get some snuggles, it is nice having freedom.

    So, let her nap independently and after nap when she is still a bit sleepy sit in the nursery and rock and read stories and snuggle while she wakes up.  
    To my boys:  I will love you for you Not for what you have done or what you will become I will love you for you I will give you the love The love that you never knew
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  • coffeeandbookscoffeeandbooks member
    My son sounds like your daughter - always on the move and prefers sleeping alone...we do most of our cuddling now as part of the night time routine when I feed him or when he first wakes up...and then just lots of hugs through out the day
    .  If you are comfortable with bathing with her...bath time can be a nice time for some skin to skin contact too.
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