Dealing with nosy family?

jenn43 · April 2014

Does anyone else feel like they're being interrogated by their family? Every time we see my in-laws, they love to ask me if I've had an exam, and how dilated I am. I'm fairly open about most things, but I just don't feel like the status of my cervix is polite dinner conversation. I've told them this, as politely as I can, and the individuals involved got really huffy and told me I was being mean (jokingly, but in that way where you know they mean it). Has anyone got a better solution?

cMichelle0423 · April 2014

jenn43 said:
Does anyone else feel like they're being interrogated by their family? Every time we see my in-laws, they love to ask me if I've had an exam, and how dilated I am. I'm fairly open about most things, but I just don't feel like the status of my cervix is polite dinner conversation. I've told them this, as politely as I can, and the individuals involved got really huffy and told me I was being mean (jokingly, but in that way where you know they mean it). Has anyone got a better solution?

If it's your in laws that are asking after you've told them you don't feel comfortable talking to them about it, then simply have your SO talk to them. That way you don't have to deal with it, and they can realize that you're being serious.

alphalyrae · April 2014

"You'll know when I'm fully dilated when the baby arrives."

iqwedding3 · April 2014

eek, hell no.

dovienash13 · April 2014

I've been having the same issue. They send me text and ask me every time I see them but it's also my family as well . Unfortunately for everyone I have opted out of the internal exams, so when they ask all I say is "I don't know" which is the truth. Baby will come either way so what's the difference in having or not having the exams. I still see my Dr I just don't get my cervix checked.

Avion22 · April 2014

I think a simple, "I prefer not to share that information" would suffice. Also, just stop giving them access to this information (like stop telling them that you have a check-up).

My husband told basically the whole world when we were headed to the hospital. I didn't think anything of it at the time -- but it turns out that EVERYONE felt they had to text him or FB message him the ENTIRE 30+ hours I was in labor to ask if there was any news. His mom was convinced we were keeping important information from her, so she started calling MY mom and pressing her for information (which she didn't have either). They didn't seem to understand that we didn't have any news to give them, and that's why nobody had heard anything. And that we were a LITTLE bit busy making important medical decisions about my labor. And that, heaven forbid, if anything had endangered me or to the baby, a text saying, "What's going on?!?!?" would NOT have been helpful to my husband.

So yeah, my advice would be to share as little info as possible.

boymomstrong · April 2014

I would just say that your not finding out any more... and stop telling people that your having a check or an appointment of any kind.

Also I second what previous poster said, I would not tell the world your in labor we did and had the same experience... We turned the phones off, and the only update people got was, "things turned bad, heading in for emergency surgery" ANd the phone went off again.... People have no sense when your pregnant or in labor!

the only time I have ever texted any one was my BFF and she had her epi in for 12 hours before she had to push and she was bored! lol So we chatted!

)

Good Luck! ANd stop sharing info!!!!!

jenn43 · April 2014

Thank you all for the helpful responses! I've found that my in-laws pry for info whether or not I bring it up. I finally did tell my MIL that I was opting out of all internal exams, so she might as well stop asking. I also talked with DH today about how much info we'll give out while I'm in labor- I think the best solution will be telling them all that we're at the hospital, and that our phones are off until after the baby arrives.

GreenMonkey1 · April 2014

When I was pregnant with my first my MIL would ask questions like you describe - how dilated was my cervix, whether I had to bring urine to appointments, how often I got sick/how much, etc. She would ask these in front of anybody (including my SIL's new boyfriend). I told her very simply I was not comfortable sharing that information. She kept pressing so I had DH tell her in no uncertain terms she needed to knock it off. Largely took care of the issue.

For labor, we told our families we would let them know when we went to the hospital, when the baby was born/once I was in recovery, and when they could come visit. Other than that our phones would be on silent/off.

My advice is to share as little as possible and if she doesn't get the hint to have your DH say something privately.

JennyCupcakes01 · April 2014

I never understood the "omg my in-laws are crazy/nosy" complaints when it really just seems as if they are just curious as to how you and baby are doing. Of course, this is the internet and I know nothing of every detail in your relationship with your family, so really, I'm just going off the few sentences posted.

Personally, I never felt interrogated by my family when I was pregnant. They asked questions about doctor visits and how I was feeling and I took it as them caring about how I was doing. It's nice when people care about you. Don't take it for granted.

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