NBR: Kissy kissy kisses

flerlgirl · April 2014

When you greet someone, do you give them a kiss on the cheek (or on both cheeks)? I am using this information for sciency things.

Fine, I am just curious.

Mizoo · April 2014

No, and it would be weird to me if someone kissed me as a greeting (other than SO, or future LO)

I enjoy my personal bubble!

rainbowdashh · April 2014

I visited my sister, who was living with a host family, in Paris a few years ago. They all greeted me that way and even though my sister warned me first, it was still uncomfortable and I was so awkward trying to reciprocate to be polite.

tbmadeamistake · April 2014

My family gets a kiss on the cheek. Friends, no kisses. DH's family is French Canadian, so we always do the kisses on both cheeks thing, while I try to understand whatever they are telling me in French!

flerlgirl · April 2014

We have some new friends that do this and I am trying to get used to it. In their circle it is totally the norm, and I feel so awkward because I don't know how to do it all elegant and fancy like they do. It's especially awkward because I am short and they are 5'9" and 6' so I feel like I am kissing their ear.

snowpants · April 2014

I never do it on my own. My SIL is from Italy and when her parents visit they always do it and I find it horribly uncomfortable. (Though I certainly hope my discomfort doesn't show, I try really hard to act like it's perfectly normal because I don't want to be rude.)

nunzchucks · April 2014

Not a thing in my circle. We do goodbye kisses, but for family only.

flerlgirl · April 2014

lyracelesti said:

I will if someone goes in for one, but I'm more of a hugger myself. Though now I try to ask for consent before hugging because one time i hugged someone and it was really clear they were uncomfortable with the physical contact and i felt terrible (as I should have).

Why YES i clicked the special snowflake option why do you ask?

You wish you could have a kiss from me. Don't pretend.

flerlgirl · April 2014

lyracelesti said:

flerlgirl said:

lyracelesti said:

I will if someone goes in for one, but I'm more of a hugger myself. Though now I try to ask for consent before hugging because one time i hugged someone and it was really clear they were uncomfortable with the physical contact and i felt terrible (as I should have).

Why YES i clicked the special snowflake option why do you ask?

You wish you could have a kiss from me. Don't pretend.

ONLY IF IT'S CONSENSUAL!

But if it _is_... :-*

:x

temursgirl · April 2014

I kiss people on both cheeks. Usually, I do this to close friends or people to whom I expect it will be culturally appropriate. It is common in my circle. I try not to ambush people it will make really uncomfortable :-*

Pepper6 · April 2014

The only person I kiss as a greeting is DH. I'm even uncomfortable hugging people I don't know.

otter1103 · April 2014

Only my one family and that is even limited. I don't for my in laws, just my side and usually just my grandmother, aunt and uncle. Every one else gets a hug. I'm a big hugger so hugs for everyone!

lest12 · April 2014

This requires so much thought!

All family members, immediate, extended or pseudo, get a quick hug and peck on the cheek, coming and going.

Close family friends and friends that are like family get a hug, but usually not a kiss.

Other friends usually just get a friendly greeting, occasionally an awkward hug.

There's no hugging or kissing at work functions ever! There's barely touching. Handshakes only when meeting new people or dealing with senior leadership. My manager put his hand ona cco-worker's shoulder the other day (both males) and it was just so odd.

shellbell813 · April 2014

I didn't think people actually did this. Unless they are Italian or French.

lest12 · April 2014

Not to stray, but it's so ridiculous to leave a family get together. Even with our immediate families. Every one has to hug everyone and it gets so loud and takes forever and you start new conversations in the process. No slipping out quietly, that's for sure.

flerlgirl · April 2014

Pepper6 said:

The only person I kiss as a greeting is DH. I'm even uncomfortable hugging people I don't know.

Word

temursgirl · April 2014

@lest12‌ lol! We call that the "Desi goodbye" (Desi means Indian). An hour before I want to leave I tell DH that we should be going. Because it will take him a full hour to say goodbye to everyone! If they are visiting us, and/or they are also Indian, saying goodbye continues outside, as you pull your car out, window down, still talking!

sparklenshine_89 · April 2014

My FIL does this... I can't stand it. I only do it to my kids and husband. Maybe my mom.

BMaidPlanner · April 2014

These polls never have my answer! Where is the option for full on make out sessions with everyone?

Pepper6 · April 2014

shellbell813 said:
I didn't think people actually did this. Unless they are Italian or French.

My GMIL is French and she doesn't do kiss greetings. I'd say it's because she's been in the states for almost 50 years now, but I think it might be a regional thing in France too because the rest of the French family I've met when they've visited don't kiss either.

flerlgirl · April 2014

BMaidPlanner said:
These polls never have my answer! Where is the option for full on make out sessions with everyone?

Lol! I'll add a special one for you next time.

ELC252011 · April 2014

I really only do this with family and close family friends. It's just a sorta cheek to cheek kiss.

lest12 · April 2014

I didn't think people actually did this. Unless they are Italian or French.

Ha, guilty. At first I thought, I'm Italian but DH's mom's side does it, too.... oh wait, they are French. @tEmurlang1, leaving just gets the party going all over again!

PressLove · April 2014

I'm a hugger. Close friends and family may get an air kiss that's close to their face. It always takes me by surprise when someone gives me a real kiss, especially if it's a man.

babygabe614 · April 2014

I love this question because this is a social tradition that I was never exposed to growing up in NY (we like our personal space, mmkay?!) but in Philadelphia - where we live now, and where my husband grew up - it's totally normal. And it took me a loooong time to become okay with it.

In most social situations, we'll exchange a kiss on the cheek regardless of sex of the other person, but only if I have met them at least once before. I always shake hands with strangers or just wave hello. However, this only applies to some of our friends because there are still others who don't practice the whole kiss thing and normally we just exchange hugs instead (also weird and new to me when I moved here, but easier to handle then the kiss thing!) My DH always kisses my mother when he sees her, but I never do because she and I didn't grow up doing that.

katekat8721 · April 2014

Yes to family, no to most my friends. I am Amazon size at 5'11" though so sometimes I just kiss the top of their wee heads lol. I am a hugger though. I hug the shit out of errbody.

https://31.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_m6bh73FuOu1rziwwco1_250.gif

coffee89 · April 2014

I don't normally kiss when greeting anyone. However, with my sister she occasionally reaches in for the one cheek kiss.

My husband also works with about 10-15 bishops and priests from around the world so I often get the double cheek kiss greeting. I'm never really sure which ones do and don't though so I'm always caught off guard.

FutureMrsW9 · April 2014

I only do it in certain situations and with certain family members. The only time it was pretty much everyone was in the receiving line on my wedding day. Actually, I probably kiss my in laws more than my own family. My immediate family isn't very touchy-feely but DH's is...it's actually kinda annoying and uncomfortable for me at times.

becomingmommyagain · April 2014

Lilygrace48 said:

My family gets a kiss on the cheek. Friends, no kisses. DH's family is French Canadian, so we always do the kisses on both cheeks thing, while I try to understand whatever they are telling me in French!

My DHs family is from France. In their region in France it is customary to give 3 kisses left-right-left again! I met my DH in Florida and he learned quickly that it was not a welcome custom to many Americans, however, amongst his French friends they did maintain the custom - however - not everyone does it the same way!!! We had friends from Burgundy, FR that did two "kisses" which is really putting yourselves cheek to cheek (but not touching) and air kissing, friends from Versailles that would lightly embrace with the two kisses... the first time I met my in-laws it was awkward because he didnt tell me it was a 3 part air kiss greeting that started with the left and I backed off after 2....

I need to brush up on my air kisses cause my MIL is coming to stay with us this summer...

temursgirl · April 2014

lizardbreath14 said:

I didn't think people actually did this. Unless they are Italian or French.
Ha, guilty. At first I thought, I'm Italian but DH's mom's side does it, too.... oh wait, they are French. @tEmurlang1, leaving just gets the party going all over again!
Italian American here. My whole family-- in fact, the whole city I live in and the city I work in--- it's pretty common to kiss. But, both cities have a very high concentration of Italian Americans. I guess I'm so used to it that I was shocked by the poll results!

I was surprised also! I don't think my area is especially touchy-feely, but it is very ethnically mixed.

temursgirl · April 2014

For those who mentioned awkward head bumping:

It's a little hard to think about in the abstract, but I'm pretty sure you always go to your own left first. Among the people I know, the following rules seem to apply:

French: two air kisses (according to PPs, this varies by region, but I know mostly Parisians)

Spanish: two air kisses

Iranian: two air kisses

Pakistani: two kisses, usually full on the cheek

Arabs: some variation, but some do three, left, right, left

Another experience I've had is that people who do three often say quietly as they lean in "I do three," presumably because most people do two and they don't expect people outside their own group to do three. Also, in general there should be no transfer of makeup!

LaurelJoy91 · April 2014

I prefer hugs. I'll hug basically anybody because hugs are just awesome. The only person I like kissing is H, but I do kiss my grandma on the cheek when I visit her. It's sort of a requirement, one that I've been forced to do since I was a little kid. And I still find it awkward. As kids, we'd be in big trouble if we didn't submit ourselves to one of her big, slobbery kisses. Don't even get me started on the way she'd lick her lips each time... *shudder*

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