Very blended family

gothammattox · April 2014

DW and I are facing a fun but interesting challenge. DW has an adult son who is 24, engaged to a woman who is 31 and has children 11,10, and 6 from previous relationships. Everyone gets along famously but as I am 27 and TTC we are trying to figure out if the grandkids will be calling the new addition Aunt or Uncle? Anyone have a similar experience? Also any suggestions on how the grandkids can address my parents as they do see them often, calling them by their first names feels strange to everyone.

AandStilltrying · April 2014

I would just have new babies call her the sister-in-law. It won't be awkward for the babies as that is what they will grow up with. As for your parents...do they consider themselves your wife's kids grandparents? It really just depends on how everybody feels about the situation.

If they refuse to accept them as grandkids, then ask what they are comfortable with being called. Blending families is never easy.

ATXmommas · April 2014

I always called my step grandparents by their first name because I was a little older (around 6) when the first of them entered my life. On the other hand, my brother's kids (and my kiddo when he starts talking) call my stepparents by their grandparent nickname because they have been in the kids' lives from day 1. Since the kids are a bit older, I definitely think it's important to consider what makes them feel comfortable. If it's a nickname, great. But, if they are most comfortable using their first names, I wouldn't make a big deal out of it.

Just my two cents coming from a blended family.

2MamazInSeattle · April 2014

My dad's step-granddaughter calls him a combo, "grandpa Sam" which kind of bridged the two options.

LaireAndLia · April 2014

I don't have step-grandparents, but Laire has three, her (now ex) stepmother's parents, and her grandmother's husband. She was four when she met all of them, and called all of them by their first names. Her younger half-siblings (her ex-stepmother's kids with her dad) call her grandmother's husband Grandad though, since he was there before they were. Laire's nephew calls her mum Nonna though, and they are of absolutely no relation. And when both we and Laire's older sister have kids, they are all going to call Laire's ex-stepmother Granna, we think, since she will probably be a big part of their lives.

I think at the grandkids ages, it should be an agreement between what they and the step-grandparents agree on, not solely on what the step-grandparents want to be called.

CageyMack · April 2014

Yeah, we go with a "Poppa Bob" or "Nana Jane" option. Shoot, we use that for her blood relatives, too. It keeps it clear. Mostly, the 11 year old knows everyone loves her and is in her family.

gothammattox · April 2014

Thanks for the input, I hadn't thought of Grandpa Dan and Grandma Kay for my parents. They are already really involved with the kids, but it's been awkward for everyone to use just their first names. I will talk with the older two and see what creative thing they can come up with. My folks are really amazing, they welcomed Carol, her son, his fiancé, and his future step kids with opened arms. Thanks again for the guidance:)

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