Tuesday Bitchfest

gutsymama · April 2014

Eff this day.

Lucas is doing great but all the incompetent and unprofessional and petty and MADDENING people who populate my world can scroff.

:-w ~X( ~X( ~X(

Mama needs some wine. But DH is currently in the middle of a root canal and is probably going to feel crappy tonight so I'll likely be on solo duty. No wine for this mama.

Anyone want to commiserate with me?

WifeyLovesHubs · April 2014

Sending you big hugs. Sorry you can't have wine!

Carrie3102 · April 2014

I would like to hear more about the incompetent folks.

My company is laying off 15 people at their premiere facility where I sit and I'm really sad for them. It needs to happen though volume has been tanking for years and the US buisiness is seeing double digit declines. Has been for about five years. It's still sad.

gutsymama · April 2014

@Carrie3102 I'll try to return with details after bedtime.

Also,

:x to @casey78 and @Meimsx today.

ETA: the shortest version is that we are currently without childcare.

MRads · April 2014

Ugh, I don't know what's going on but that sounds rough.

I'm currently at my H's tax office, trying to get work done, with a baby who will. Not. Go. To. Sleep.

Super fun trying to make calls and copies while wrangling a screaming child.

On the plus side, my kid clapped today!

Clyde013 · April 2014

Hugs Mimi

DH is going through his terrible twos. At least he's acting that way anyway. Ugh!

[Deleted User] · April 2014

We owe the IRS 32,000 and that's after we already made all of our estimated quarterly payments. Anyone want to commiserate?

I'm sorry you're having childcare problems Mimi

lancomechica · April 2014

@Asbromle‌ that sucks!

[Deleted User] · April 2014

lancomechica said:
@Asbromle‌ that sucks!

I :x rum.

grapeskittles4lyfe · April 2014

Hugs for all you ladies!

I can't really bitch, because it's my fault, but I'm trying my hand at the pioneer woman's cinnamon rolls.

They look like crap. I hope the oven magically transforms them into something that doesn't look like liverwurst mass before it gets pumped into the casing.

These are NOT mine.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

The user and all related content has been deleted.

fabk · April 2014

Big hugs to all the Momma's in need.

joyfultrex · April 2014

Just as we were sitting down to dinner LO decided to throw up like a fountain. Looks like I might have to stay home with him tomorrow and I really don't want to miss school since we are supposed to do the worm dissection. Worst part is I weighed him when I got home today and we were up to 16.8 lbs. I was excited since we go to the doctor next week. Post throw up I weighed him again out of curiosity. 15.6 lbs. only up .3 from last month. I know his true weight is probably somewhere between those two but I was a little bummed to see that much of a decline.

grapeskittles4lyfe · April 2014

SRC, mmmmm is right. Once out of the oven and with 7 gallons of frosting on top, who cares that they look a little wonky.

grapeskittles4lyfe · April 2014

somerandomchick said:

Here's a pic of the PW cinnamon rolls I made a year ago. So yummy. I think this is before baking

OMG those look fantastic. I definitely need to majorly up the gooeyness in the next round. These were good, but I was too miserly with the cinnamon.

redrocksmama · April 2014

Asbromle said:
We owe the IRS 32,000 and that's after we already made all of our estimated quarterly payments. Anyone want to commiserate?

I'm sorry you're having childcare problems Mimi

Wow. I thought our $11,000 bill was bad. Uncle Sam can suck it!

My compliant is that I have a giant clogged duct and it is killing me.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

@JStahl678 haha that's exactly what I told a friend about Uncle Sam earlier.

gutsymama · April 2014

mermomo5 said:

Mimi I'm so sorry I know that can be rough. I want to volunteer myself to help you out but I'm not sure I would be the nicest. Listen jerks Mimi has enough going on you need to get your shit straight. Yeah, prob wouldn't be the best My 4&6 yr olds have decided they must fight over all things. Listen little ladies there is enough stuff and if you can't work it out it can all find a new home. For my mental health they have been signed up for many rec activities this summer..

Well, that's basically what I told them....

@asbromle

:-O That's considerably more than my entire income.... (as in just mine, not mine + DH)

gutsymama · April 2014

I want to love-tit all these for support but I don't want to love these things.

We need a hug-tit.

stephyfaith · April 2014

Hugs to everyone!!!

My only complaint is a constipated baby who refuses to nap. Still.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

@mimi4347 we need one huge tit to love on and the bump won't let me love anything again. Why is this always an issue??? Pisses me off.

gutsymama · April 2014

@Carrie3102 here's our drama for you -

So I'll try to sum up but it's likely it will still be way too long - basically we can't take Luke to regular daycare so we have a private-duty nurse that stays with him a few days a week so I can work. I have had a ton of frustrations with the nursing company and most of the people they've sent us (granted it's a small sample size) have been what has to be the dregs of the nursing world. People I would not leave any kid with for a variety of reasons. So we settled with somebody who at least could hold a normal conversation, seemed to enjoy playing with him, had all her teeth, was comfortable with our dog, and wasn't just an all-around flucking idiot. It took me a while to get comfortable actually leaving the house to work elsewhere, but we got there.

But I've been increasingly frustrated and losing confidence. Without dragging up every detail, I think it boils down to a combination of insecurity about people thinking she's "just" a nanny, and an inflated sense of importance (not that I'd undervalue a good nurse in any way). This manifests in a variety of ways - things like she feels the need to recount all of her experience to everyone she meets, even when it's an inappropriate situation for that; she agrees with every change anybody wants to make in a way that makes it sound as if she was already thinking we should do that, even when it's completely contrary to the last thing she said; etc. These things are irritating, but not harmful. It becomes a problem, however, when she is either unwilling to admit she doesn't know something, or unable to recognize that "I can probably figure it out" =/= "I know how to do it." This last part was the first thing that had me thinking maybe we needed to part ways.

The second recent thing, which almost made me request a new person right then and there, was that she called me during a seminar during which I am only available in emergencies, left a 5-second blank voicemail, and then didn't respond to my texts asking what was wrong. I left the seminar early and drove home in tears. Turns out Luke had had a big vomit and she (I think panicked) and called me before she even cleaned him up. And then she saw DH pulling up so she called him to make sure he came right inside to help. This made me lose most of the confidence I had left (leaving aside the voicemail issue, you're going to take care of an SBS kid and panic when he pukes?!!), but we talked about it and Luke knows her and I didn't want to risk several days or weeks of stranger danger with trying someone new - we need to get all his calories in him, and I was worried he wouldn't take a bottle from a stranger. And his pukes can be alarming, I get that.

The final straw: a few weeks ago I voiced my frustration with having to report every detail of everything I do, even when they're not there. This came up because at the beginning of every shift she asks what time I gave him his morning medicine, even though I've always just told her what time he had his bottle and he gets his meds 15 minutes before that, so of course I'm not going to skip his meds and she should know what time he had his meds based on the time of the bottle. And his doses go with his bottles, not on a set time schedule, so she's supposed to give his next dose before his 3rd bottle no matter what since that will always be at least 4 hours apart (the minimum time between doses) since his bottles are supposed to be 3ish hours apart. She hasn't asked me about the time of his 1st dose since then so I figured we were cool.

Fast forward to today; he's had several vomits recently, and she still gave him his 2nd bottle only 2 hours after his first and was warming a 3rd bottle 2 hours after that. I was working from home so I heard it and went in to stop her. She said he'd been fussing for an hour and wanted a bottle; I told her if he started fussing only an hour after his last bottle (which had been given early) it was probably because his stomach *hurt* and not because he was hungry. Then I asked if she'd already given him his meds because I didn't want to screw up the timing on that or double dose, and she said no, she couldn't give it because she didn't know when he had his first dose (even though I told her what time he had his first bottle). So she was going to give him a 3rd bottle, super early, without his motility meds. And I was in the NEXT FUCKING ROOM. So if she was worried she could've double checked with me, but instead she decided to be all petty and passive aggressive and not give his meds when he was supposed to have them - to what? prove a point? get back at me for challenging her? I don't even know. Wtf.

I took Luke and went out to the porch to cool off. And while I was out there I got a text from her supervisor asking what time Luke had had his first dose because our nurse needed to know so she didn't overdose him. I replied that I was very confused why she didn't just ask me directly seeing as how I was home, and the supervisor said the nurse had told her she had asked me and I had refused to tell her. Which is a flat-out lie. And it is absolutely ridiculous for her to contact her supervisor instead of talking to me.

I just about lost it. Instead I went in and told her to go home for the day because I couldn't have a productive discussion while I was upset and I needed her to leave. She told me today was going to be her last day anyway (nobody had bothered to tell us that). And when I asked her why she said (after trying to get out of it with some bullshit vague lies) that it was risking her license when I wouldn't communicate with her and she didn't feel like it was a good fit anymore and that also it seemed like sometimes I forgot she was a nurse and I'd embarrassed her in front of the nurse from the pharmacy (which had to be talking about when I asked her to give us some space on the day she was there during a dressing change and was crowding into a sterile procedure). And after she left I talked to her supervisor some more and she was fudging, stretching, or outright lying about some other details too, to make it seem more dramatic and important (she said she had asked me several times and I refused to tell her, it was a 6-8 hour med instead of a 4-6 hour med, blah blah blah). Just unbelievable how childish all this was.

I've had some complaints building for a while, obviously, but I didn't want to air it all in a public forum where she might stumble across it because I didn't want to be mean. All of that is out the window now. So while I'm at it - she sucks at reading children's books, the sounds she makes mimicking Luke are like nails on a chalkboard, and she can't put a baby outfit together to save her life - I've honestly wondered if she was *trying* to put together the most ridiculously mismatched clashing outfits she could come up with. And her breath is rank.

Sidenote: the supervisor is the one who texted me at 10:30pm the other day, and has previously texted me at 8:30am to let me know a nurse we had never met before would be showing up at the house at 8:00am - so 30 min *after* a stranger showed up on my doorstep.

She has already lined up a replacement so we're going to do a meet-and-greet with her later this week. But I'm not holding out hope.

gutsymama · April 2014

Holy shit that's long. I really did try to summarize the larger issues and skip some things.

karen0477 · April 2014

@mimi4347‌ that is brutal, I don't even know where to begin!! Sounds like you will be better off without her, but understand your concerns about a new person.....fingers crossed you get a good one....people like that are how us nurses get a bad name, shame on her.....

gutsymama · April 2014

@Karen0477 @Rmnam1 and throwing @valstulas in here for good measure -

You don't have to worry about this tainting all nurses for me. Not one little bit. I know how wonderful you are. The extent to which I value the amazing nurses we were blessed with in the NICU is beyond words. They are still saving me - I had lunch with one of them last week, and I had a long phone conversation with another today.

But, well, shitty people show up in all demographics. And we have had a bad run with this one.

blairwitch · April 2014

I hope your new nurse is better!

Stina2012 · April 2014

@mimi4347‌ that absolutely blows! I'm sorry you're dealing with shitty home care.

I don't know where you live or if it would work, but do you have an Easter Seals near you? Our DC is Easter Seals and they work with kids with special needs of all sorts. No clue if they could handle the medical aspects, but Riley's main teacher is a former CNA. Just a random thought!

fabk · April 2014

@mimi4347 big hugs!!

MRads · April 2014

@mimi4347‌ that sounds awful. I'm so sorry you are dealing with that.

I agree with @Stina2012‌ wrt looking in to a DC that deals with kids with special medical needs. I think they are pediatric extended care centers. My friend's kid went to one, bc she had a port. I apologize if you've already looked in to this. Big hugs.

Carrie3102 · April 2014

Wow @Mimi4347 I can't believe you kept your patience as long as you did. That is completely ridiculous and I'm sorry. I hope this new nurse is better, if not is there another company you can work with? I surely hope so because I'm pretty sure that the supervisor there is a moron too.

[Deleted User] · April 2014

Mimi, what an awful experience. I hope this next nurse isn't such a tool. Also, I can't imagine working with Luke or any baby for that matter for as long as she has and not developed a bond that I wouldn't want to break. I mean, I know to some people a job is just a job, but I feel like her job has some uniqueness and she seems like a sucky person to have messed everything up like she has. Also, she should've been following instructions better. Like, how could she screw up the medical aspect of everything. She should know better. Sorry

gutsymama · April 2014

@Stina2012‌ @MRads thanks so much for the suggestions! We have been told that private nursing is basically our only option with the line and didn't really press further. I have never heard of Easter Seals but looked them up this morning - and I thought I found a really great place but turns out it's actually 4 hours away!

but I'm going to keep looking into it, especially since he'll hopefully have the line out soon. And I'm planning to ask for recs at our next PT appt.

@Carrie3102‌ I think we were patient because the other people were SO terrible, it felt like we would just get someone worse if we asked for a new nurse. And then we've been so close to getting rid of the line we were trying to just kind of hold on long enough to get through, you know? We are looking into other options but one co has similarly terrible reviews and another doesn't have any openings

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