I love you so much but I'm begging you to either come out or stop headed butting me in the crotch. Please.
-Your mommy
happily married since 2009, SAHM
diagnosed with unexplained infertility, regular cycles
Baby #1: ttc naturally for 3 years, 6 yr old daughter
Baby #2: ttc naturally for 2 years, 2 yr old son
Baby #3: ttc naturally since August 2016
Re: Dear Baby,
I used to hate having your tiny feet in my ribcage, but I'll take them over your entire butt!
Love,
Mom
I can't wait to see your little face, but please stop pressing it against my bladder/cervix unless you want to come out soon. It's painful! Can't wait to meet you little guy
Love,
Mommy
Get the fuck out.
Love,
Your no longer diplomatic mama
I know it's getting cramped in there because I can feel every time you push against me. But if you come out and join us you'll have all the room you need.. Also please stop murdering my crotch..
Love always
Mommy
Could you not give me contractions all night and then completely stop for the next few days? We are ready for you! No need to do a dress rehersal.
P.s. Please come today because i do not trust your Daddy's mom to watch you while we are in the hospital this weekend.
Love,
Mommy
diagnosed with unexplained infertility, regular cycles
Baby #1: ttc naturally for 3 years, 6 yr old daughter
Baby #2: ttc naturally for 2 years, 2 yr old son
Baby #3: ttc naturally since August 2016
I understand real estate is limited but I'd really appreciate if you'd refrain from hitting my stomach so hard that it instigates such instant and forceful reflux that it comes out my nose. The poor cat did not appreciate being steamrolled as I struggled to get out of bed fast enough to deal with that nonsense.
Dear Baby,
Please hurry up and come out. I am tired of having embarassing conversations with your Grandma (Daddy's Mom) about how long it took to make you, her aches and pains while she was carrying your daddy, and how close I am to having you.
Love Mama
P.S. My pelvic bone is not a soccer ball, please stop hitting it with your head.
Today is daddy's birthday, don't be stingy and stay in there. He would really love to meet you as a gift. Ps-whatever you're doing in there that makes it feel like I'm being stabbed in the vagina from the inside is not cute. Knock it off!!
No one likes a tease.
Are you coming or not????
Quit playing games.
-Mom
Mommy loves you! Come out now so I can stop working and binge eat and watch tv with you for 3 months. And, I'm dying to see your cute face and stop using the bathroom 17.4 times per day because you are using my cervix as a pillow.
Love,
Your Mom whom has never changed a diaper, made a bottle or held a newborn but will love u to pieces.
Your lease is up! Please don't make me call the authorities to physically remove you from the premises. Other living arrangements have been made for you. This is not the deal we agreed upon at the start of this journey. Mommy and Daddy want to meet you. Quit being stubborn. It is no longer cute. The time has come.
Ok great, Thanks.
Your very much lacking in patience Mommy
If your not going to perform your own CS... Then put the knife away. My vag thanks you.
Love,
Yo momma
First, I have to thank you for being a pretty great roommate for the past 9 months. You were super considerate and didn't arrive during DH's hellish quarter-end period, which his boss super appreciated.
But remember how we had that nice pep talk on Friday encouraging you to make your debut naturally this weekend? And what would happen if you didn't get your ass in motion? Well, you were warned. I'm so sorry I have to be hooked up to Pitocin right now, but now you know how it feels when you squeeze on my bladder. If it means I get to see you in under 16 hours, it will be worth it, I promise.
Love,
Your mother who promises nourishing delicious milkshake-flavored colostrum despite the appearance of her pre-pregger sized A cup boobies.
P.S. Keep following the light at the end of the tunnel. That's where I'll be. ;-)