My last infertile (real life) friend told me she is pg today. 8 years, iuis, and a failed adoption later. I'm obviously very happy for her but I feel left behind. I feel like the person infertility forgot to let go of, I'm grateful for this break but I'm worried by the time we try again I won't have any fight left. Sorry for the pity party! I know we've all been there
Also I lost my mind and came on on fb!! Here's the post...
Mndmckim.blogspot.com
*******siggy/ticker warning*****
Me(31). DH (31)
DH SA normal count and motility, 1% morphology Me .72 AMH, Fragile X premutation carrier IVF #1 (6/12/13) BFN
I am so, so sorry. I remember feeling this way with our second FET. It's one of the most horrible feelings I can recall. I really hope and pray that you and YH will get to one day enjoy the things you dream about and list in your blog post. My heart just breaks.
Big hugs to you. Sending you loads of love.
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************ Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1 Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant DH: Severe MFI 12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN 8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly) My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years! 2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts. 2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13 3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d. 6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years! 9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts 9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14 9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow! 11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13 Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373 6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl! Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014! My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
Giant hugs. FWIW, we quit treatment last February and tried to be CFNBC. We sold our big family home that we didn't need and relocated to DH's home city (45 min move). Then we revisited it all last Sept. A very similar timeline to yours. The fight will come back-I promise. Being left behind is excruciating. You are bettering your odds with DE so try to focus on that it will happen one day. Take care of yourself during the wait.
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46 DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!! First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
Huge hugs! It's hard to have the conflict of truly being happy for someone else and feeling your own pain at the same time. I'm sure your fight will come back in full force!
***signature & ticker warning***
Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8 AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?! Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo. Stopped BCP 4/2010. Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012. FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013 ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27. Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt) Beta 4: 8503(19dpt) Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s. If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!
I am so sorry. I feel the same way. I think when we are on a break the "fight" kinda goes on a break too. Our minds and bodies can't be in fight mode all the time, and as soon as we take the first step back "into the ring" the fight comes back with a vengeance.
TTC#1 since April 2011 IVF#1 July 2012 5R, 3 made it to blast, sET c/p FET#1 Aug 2012 2 blasts transferred BFN IVF#2 Oct 2012 16R/6M/6F/2-8 cell grade 1 transfer Beta 1-237.9, Beta 2-566, Beta 3-8657 US 6w3d shows one baby w/ HB 115 US 7w1d no more heartbeat/ D&C 11/30/12 normal karyotype IVF#3 Mar 2013 6R/4M/4F 1 compacting and 2-8 cell transfer ectopic pg MTX given 3 month break from TTC
IVF#4 Sept 2013--BFN IVF#5-7 Apr 2014, Jun 2014 and Aug 2014 banking embryos for CCS testing. Praying for normals!
Re: A friends bfp
I am so, so sorry. I remember feeling this way with our second FET. It's one of the most horrible feelings I can recall. I really hope and pray that you and YH will get to one day enjoy the things you dream about and list in your blog post. My heart just breaks.
Big hugs to you. Sending you loads of love.
************ Signature/Ticker Warning ************
Me (32) DH (36) - Finding our way to baby #1
Me: POF/DOR - AMH <0.16, heterozygous c677t MTHFR, insulin resistant and gluten intolerant
DH: Severe MFI
12/2/11 - IUI #1- BFN
8/1/12 - IVF #1 - Zero response from max stims (600iu intramuscularly)
My ovaries are just for decoration
12/6/12 - Adopted five embryos that had been frozen for over ten years!
2/11/13 - DEmbryo FET #1 Thawed four, sadly two didn't survive. Transferred two beautiful blasts.
2/16/13 - First BFP of my life @ 6dp5dt! EDD 10/30/13
3/27/13 - After beta and u/s hell, no heartbeat ever detected. D&C at 9w1d.
6/5/13 - Adopted four new embryos that had been frozen for seven years!
9/12/13 - DEmbryo FET #2. Thawed and transferred two beautiful blasts
9/17/13 - BFP @ 5dp6dt! EDD 05/31/14
9/29/13 - m/c @ 5w1d.
11/19/13 - DEmbryo FET #3. Thawed and transferred one blast from each batch. Wow!
11/23/13 - BFP @ 4dp6dt! EDD 8/7/13
Beta #1 @ 13dp6dt - 522 Beta #2 @ 16dp6dt - 1373
6w5d ultrasound showed one perfect baby with a beautiful heartbeat of 134bpm!
Snowflake baby is a girl!
Our beautiful Snowflake girl arrived on July 22, 2014!
My embryo adoption blog: Wishing on a Snowflake
TTC #1 since 8/1/10; Me:41 and BRCA1+, DH:46
DOR (FSH 24.3)/ terrible egg quality ; homozygous MTHFR c677t
5 IUI's: 2/11 to 6/11 and 1/12= BFN
OE IVF#1-4 8/11-6/12= all BFN
DE IVF#1 11/12 bad embryos= BFN
DE IVF #2 2/13 BFP/Beta hell: m/c 5w6d
CFNBC 7 months, not doing well; decided on guarantee program at RBA w/frozen DE
DE IVF #3 1/14 ET 4BB; BFP;M/C 5w1d, incomplete m/c; MVA extraction in ER 7w1d
DE FET#1 ET 3/1714; BFP, beta 1 3/27= 197, beta 2 3/31= 1586, beta 3 4/7= 13879!!
First u/s= Twins with HBs at 6w2d! We are Team Pink x 2!!
K & K born 11/21/14 at 38wks 4 days
SAIF/PAIF Welcome
http://waitingforraintostop.wordpress.com
***signature & ticker warning***
Me: 30 ~ Stage IV Endo ~ AMH .38 ~ AFC 8
AMH .97 as of 4/2012! ~ AMH 1.63 as of 4/2013!?!
Him: 29 ~ perfect swimmers
Laparotomy w/partial oophorectomy 8/2009 to remove cysts/endo.
Stopped BCP 4/2010.
Multiple clomid rounds from 11/2010 to 6/2011. ~ All BFN
IUI w/clomid 7/2011. IUI w/clomid & injectables 11/2011 & 1/2012. ~ All BFN
IVF:EPP 5/2012 ~ (4R, 3M, 2F w/ICSI). Both embryos txfrd. ~ BFN
BCP to manage endo from 10/2012 to 12/2012.
FET w/donor embryos #1: 10/2013 Cancelled
FET w/donor embryos #1.2: 11/2013 ~ ET of 2 beautiful blasts on 11/27.
Beta 1: 503(12dp5dt) Beta 2: 1035(14dpt) Beta 3: 3001(16dpt) Beta 4: 8503(19dpt)
Twins with an EDD of 8/15/14! Team Purple
G&B born 6/30/14 at 33w3d via emergency c/s.
If you're wondering about my avatar...it's a fried pickle chip shaped like a fetus!
NTNP 2009-2012 TTC since 2012:
Jack has handpicked his sibling up there
My blog about IF and loss ... Kate's IF Blog
TTC#1 since April 2011
IVF#1 July 2012 5R, 3 made it to blast, sET c/p
FET#1 Aug 2012 2 blasts transferred BFN
IVF#2 Oct 2012
16R/6M/6F/2-8 cell grade 1 transfer
Beta 1-237.9, Beta 2-566, Beta 3-8657
US 6w3d shows one baby w/ HB 115
US 7w1d no more heartbeat/ D&C 11/30/12 normal karyotype
IVF#3 Mar 2013
6R/4M/4F 1 compacting and 2-8 cell transfer
ectopic pg MTX given 3 month break from TTC
IVF#4 Sept 2013--BFN
http://i61.tinypic.com/34zll06IVF#5-7 Apr 2014, Jun 2014 and Aug 2014 banking embryos for CCS testing. Praying for normals!