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The more ready we are the more anxious I am...

MickeyM04MickeyM04 member
in Pregnant after a Loss

So I have totally procrastinated even more with this LO than I did when I was pregnant with DS (nursery was ready about a week before I went into labor, hospital bag was not packed when I went into labor, etc.).  However, we finally started to buckle down, and now all that's left to do in DD's room is decorate it (it's painted but that's about it in terms of decor), we have to install the car seats and put together the new double stroller, and we have to hook up all the electronic stuff (monitor, sound machine, etc.).  But that's it.  But with each thing I scratch off my to do list, I find myself getting more anxious...like I think to myself, "What if we are doing all this for nothing?"  Or things like, "Well now that these clothes are washed, we can't return them...what would we do with all these clothes if we didn't need them."  Things like that.  I thought that after a successful pregnancy/labor and delivery with DS, I would get to this point in the pregnancy and be like WOW, it's going to happen again!  But instead I am still having a hard time thinking, "What if we regret this later because we never get to bring the baby home?"  I mean we bought a freaking new car last week to make more room for the baby.  Every time I get in the car I love it but I'm also wondering if we had to trade it in because we ended up not needing it, would they take it back this soon?

This is just really a vent that I am so frustrated to feel this way.  If anyone can relate I'd love to hear your thoughts/feelings as well.

Lilypie Third Birthday tickers 
Lilypie First Birthday tickers 

BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
 BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14.  4/27/14:  Our second take home baby is here!

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Re: The more ready we are the more anxious I am...

  • PatientlyWaiting10PatientlyWaiting10 member
    I'm sorry you're feeling this way!  (((hugs)))
    BFP #1 October 2008 | m/c Thanksgiving weekend | November 2008 | 7 weeks 2 days
    BFP #2 February 2009 | m/c March 2009 | 4 weeks 3 days
    Testing on mom and dad for possible reasons all came back normal.
    BFP #3 8/4/2009 | DD born 3/28/10 @ 38 weeks
    BFP #4 5/13/11 | m/c 6/15/11 | 8 weeks 6 days
    BFP #5 2/13/13 | CP 2/19/13 | 4 weeks 
    BFP #6 3/21/14 | Heard the HB on 4/16 | m/c 4/21/14 | 9 weeks
    Testing results all returned normal and baby was a GIRL.
    More testing on mom and dad for other issues all returned normal results.
    BFP #7 10/15 | DS born 6/4/16 @ 36 weeks 
    BFP #8 9/28/17 AHHH!!!  |  EDD 6/6/18

    "Dear Lord, I would have loved to have held my babies on my lap & tell them about you, but since I didn't get the chance, would you please hold them on your lap & tell them about me?"
    All are welcome!


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  • SandSunBlissSandSunBliss member
    edited April 2014
    I am having a hard time taking tags off of things an washing them too. I have friends who consign and I guess that's what we will do if things don't go well from here. Or we will do exactly what we did last time... put everything in the nursery and close the door until we need things again or can otherwise face them.

    I guess we survived last time with some things already done and purchased. It still makes me feel better right bow to be prepared for this little one and celebrate their coming. I'm trying to just stay excited and not think about what could go wrong.((hugs)) hope things get better

    If it truly causes you too much stress, remember that all you NEED to bring baby home is a carseat, diapers and somewhere for them to sleep.

    married my best friend 10/04/08, TTC since July 2012
    BFP#1 Thanksgiving 11/22/12, mo-mo twins(one sac), traditional EDD 7/27/13, EDD due to risk 6/15/13
    mmc Angel 2/7/13 @ 15w3d, mmc Aubrey 2/13/13 @ 16w2d, D&E 2/16/13

    BFP#2 9/21/13, EDD 6/2/14, DD born 5/17/14 

    imageimage image

    All AL always welcome in my threads!

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  • SerenlaSerenla member
    (((((Hugs))))) I know what you mean, I made myself washthe clothes and get everything ready. Remember what Sandsun said, if it stresses you out too much then only do the bare necessities.



    mean_girls_35345Image and video hosting by TinyPic         PAL Sep challenge George Takei image
    Started dating in 5/9/05, Married 6/25/11
    Started TTC Feb 2013, BFP #1 3/4/13 EDD 11/10/13. MMC 4/9/13 D&C 4/22/13.
    BFP #2 7/17/13, EDD 3/29/14 ended in a CP on 7/22/13.
    BFP#3 8/19/13 EDD 5/3/14 Nerdling was born 4/29/14, welcome little one!
     All AL welcome.


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  • MickeyM04MickeyM04 member

    Thanks ladies :)

    It's so hard, because I'm super OCD and type A so it's like I want everything to be completely ready and perfect when she gets here, but then the more I do the more I'm like OMG WHAT AM I DOING.  Also it's hard because the big stuff is the stuff we (in my mind) had to do.  Like I didn't want to paint after she got here and have it be all fumey and such (even that non VOC stuff still reeks to me).  And we are using DS's crib for her and moved him to a toddler bed and it was super important to me that he not feel like he was getting kicked out of his crib, so I wanted to move that before she got here and now there's a crib in her room and a toddler bed in DS's room and that's like AHHHH! too. 

    It's a double edged sword.  Last time I postponed doing stuff (this time too actually) and it made me feel like something was going to go wrong...like if a baby was coming home, wouldn't the clothes be washed?  Wouldn't we have a crib?  Wouldn't we have baby gear in the house?  But then when I did stuff (and do stuff now), it still makes me feel like something's going to go wrong, but more in terms of me feeling like I'm jinxing things/jumping the gun.  PGAL = mind fvck.

     

    Lilypie Third Birthday tickers 
    Lilypie First Birthday tickers 

    BFP #1 6/28/11 ~ EDD 3/7/12 ~ m/c 7/15/11 at 6w2d
    BFP #2 8/29/11 ~ EDD 5/12/12. 4/25/12: Our take home baby is here!
     BFP #3 8/27/13 ~ EDD 5/11/14.  4/27/14:  Our second take home baby is here!

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  • JCM285JCM285 member
    I'm so sorry you feel this way. After a loss I feel like we get cheated out of a certain kind of calm that women who haven't experienced loss get to have. Stay positive and do whatever makes you feel better :-)
    Married my best friend 7/2/11 - Furbaby born 7/9/11 and brought into our home 9/1/11

    BFP#1:   2/2/13 ~ exact m/c date unknown but around 3/20 at 10 weeks ~ diagnosed with PMP ~ D&C on 4/5 ~ TTA for at least 1 year due to PMP ~ cleared to TTC 1/14

    BFP#2:   2/7/14 ~ m/c 2/20/14 ~ possibly due to chemical pregnancy ~ TG no D&C is needed 

    Surprise BFP#3:  4/4/14 ~ super duper extra happy (and nervous) about this one - EDD 12/9/14!!!

    John Joseph was born on 12/12/14 at 7 lbs. 11 oz.  He is the most beautiful rainbow baby we could have wished for!


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