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Bedtime battles

PsyDr04PsyDr04 member
in Toddlers: 24 Months+
DS is almost 27 months. For the last few weeks, bedtime as been hell. We stick to our routine that we have had forever (bath, jammies, brush teeth, books, rock a little) but he will NOT go to sleep. It is taking about an hour and a half for him to fall asleep every night. If I leave his room, he cries, throws his stuffed cow and pacifier out of the bed, then gets mad because he can't reach them. Last night, I did the usual routine and then just kept going back in, picking up the stuff he threw off the floor and laying him back down without saying anything. It still took an hour and a half for him to fall asleep. I know he's tired because he's yawning before we even start bath. It does not matter if we try putting him down earlier or later. He also cries out several times at night and I usually have to go in to put the paci back in his mouth and rub his back a little.

I'm so exhausted. I feel like I need to continue with the go in but don't say anything plan to send the message that he needs to go to sleep, that nighttime is for sleep. I'm not really a big fan of CIO and neither is my husband, but something has to give. I'm almost 4 months pregnant with #2 and we need to fix this sleep stuff before the baby comes. 

Any other suggestions? 
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Re: Bedtime battles

  • dancingmatildadancingmatilda member
    Our bedtime routine is bath etc. then cuddle on the couch & she falls asleep watching a movie. I'm trying to find a way to get her to start going to sleep in her room without a war. Thinking about letting her watch her movie in her room, first with me then by herself. No real advice, but just wanted to encourage you and let you know you are not alone in bedtime struggles!
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  • rlyttlerlyttle member
    Once he is in bed DON'T go back in. It's like a game to him. He knows that you will keep coming in if he is screaming and crying. Leave the room & don't return until he is sleeping. He will get the idea that the crying isn't going to work. GL!
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  • PsyDr04PsyDr04 member
    Happy to say that with just a couple of nights of sleep training, DS is now going to bed pretty easily. This is one relieved momma. 
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  • CandyJenCandyJen member
    you can put the DS bed near yours and then you will fall asleep together,
    1. hand in hand. perhaps DS is not ready to sleep alone.
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  • TiffanyBerryTiffanyBerry member
    Nicb13 said:
    CandyJen said:
    you can put the DS bed near yours and then you will fall asleep together,
    1. hand in hand. perhaps DS is not ready to sleep alone.

    OP's son is over 2! I think he's capable of sleeping alone.
    Capable?  Yes.  Mentally/emotionally ready to do so?  Maybe, maybe not.  Not all kids have the same emotional maturity, the same fears, the same internal self-regulation, the same needs at the same age.

    As an adult, I am capable of handling lots of things on my own, but may do better emotionally to have the support of someone else - there are some things I'd dare say I'm NOT emotionally prepared to handle entirely on my own.  Children are this, only many, many times more so.  And every child is different as to when they are ready to do what.
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  • jshfjshf member
    I agree with this. OP you said you aren't a big fan of CIO so I think you need to do what works for you. My 27 month yo is driving me nuts because he's having trouble at night too. He used to be a great sleeper and I could say goodnight and he would fall asleep on his own. My older son was able to put himself to sleep at about this age too. But the past couple of weeks DS2 has been crying and screaming if I don't sit next to him while he falls asleep. I have tried a variety of things, but nothing seems to be working. I'm not into CIO, plus he shares a room with DS2 so it's hard to just lock the door with him being a maniac! He has had a lot of Change lately. Me going back to work, and him starting daycare a month ago. Plus he's older and more aware now. So I've decided to just sit with him and try a gentle sleep training like the sleep lady shuffle in another month or two. It only takes 15 min of me sitting with him vs an hour of screaming and crying! Every kid is different and what is right for you is different. GL in whatever you do! It's hard being a mom and a kid!
    TiffanyBerry said:
    Nicb13 said:
    CandyJen said:
    you can put the DS bed near yours and then you will fall asleep together,
    1. hand in hand. perhaps DS is not ready to sleep alone.

    OP's son is over 2! I think he's capable of sleeping alone.
    Capable?  Yes.  Mentally/emotionally ready to do so?  Maybe, maybe not.  Not all kids have the same emotional maturity, the same fears, the same internal self-regulation, the same needs at the same age.

    As an adult, I am capable of handling lots of things on my own, but may do better emotionally to have the support of someone else - there are some things I'd dare say I'm NOT emotionally prepared to handle entirely on my own.  Children are this, only many, many times more so.  And every child is different as to when they are ready to do what.

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  • sunnyday016sunnyday016 member
    We did our own similar version of the sleep lady shuffle and it worked. We used to have to sit with him for an hour or more. He climbed out of his crib and all hell broke loose. He was out of control and wrecking his room. If he could see us, he would at least stay laying down. We gradually were able to sit in the hall with the door mostly closed, then with the door all the way closed, and now we lay with him for a few minutes and leave the room. He will cry but usually only for 5 minutes max.
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