Vent

trigirl79 · April 2014

I rarely do this, because my DH is pretty freaking awesome. Actually he and A are on their way home from visiting his parents while I stayed at home - solo. It's been awesome. Except that stupid AF can't make up her mind whether not she's showing up. So I'm on the phone telling him how frustrated I am and how I just hate all of this. Here's more of the convo:

DH: yeah (his typical response)

Me: no, not yeah, this really really sucks for me

DH: I can totally understand how you feel (his other go to response, which I have told him about 5 MILLION times not to say)

Me: no, you don't. you have no concept what it's like watching our friends get pregnant and me not even knowing if I'm ovulating or what the eff is going on with my body. you have no idea what it feels like to be the reason that we can't get pregnant right now. add in everything i have to moderate or give up or side effects. i don't even know if i want to do this any more.

DH: silence

So, the thing is - we go through this conversation all.the.time. His problem is he doesn't know what to say and isn't good at saying something other than the above. But I've told him to stop saying that. And offered alternatives. I know it hurts for him too but he's also admitted it's not the same. Part of this is selfish on my part - I want one more kid and then want to be done. I want my body back and to stop dealing with this. I don't want to drag it out. Plus, let's be real, I'm not getting any younger. I hate this feeling of being in a holding pattern. And now I just don't know if it's what I want any more. I think I want #2 but the effort and emotion and drama and stress is so much right now. Hopefully, these are stupid AF hormones talking.

If you made it to the end of this, I owe you a drink. Or a cupcake. Or both. Thanks for listening

kmc84 · April 2014

((Hugs)) I'm sorry you are frustrated. I think no matter what there will always be some communication failure between men and women. My DH is pretty awesome too, but sometimes.....!!! Holy moly!

I hope AF makes up her mind so you can carry on! In the meantime, have yourself a drink and a cupcake

TJ1979 · April 2014

I am sorry you are dealing with this. IF is so unfair. I hate giving men an out just by being men. But I literally do not think it is possible for them to understand the pain we go through. Or how hard it is to give up everything we have to give up. It's one of those things no one can understand unless they have been there.
Big hugs to you dear. I hope your body gets it together really soon. And YH figures out a better way of being supportive.

fullfhope · April 2014

I hear you, and I'm sorry we go through this. Hugs to you, wish I could fix it for us all.

MoFree · April 2014

One of the best pieces of advice I received in therapy was to not expect of people what they cannot give. While it would be nice if YH 'got it' in terms of IF but he doesn't. My suggestion is to vent on here, vent with any RL friends who might understand or talk to a professional . You will only get angry and frustrated with your husband because he is from Mars and you are from Venus.

pb_bride · April 2014

Hugs. My DH does similar things too... He tries to be empathetic and says,"I know I know" when I complain, but tbh, he doesn't know because he is not the one going through it or having to deal with it.

trigirl79 · April 2014

thanks ladies. @MoFree you are so right - actually I don't expect him to understand, just want him to stop saying he does. But I know he's saying it to be supportive, not to be a jerk. Here's hoping we all have a great week

Want a personalized experience?

Vent

Re: Vent

Choose Another Board

Search Boards