OMG - new mom - week 5 - Is this actually possible?

BabyVDM · April 2014

I've been at home now for about 3 weeks with both my baby girls.

Patricia was born healthy with no issues and has been with me from day one. Beatrice was slightly smaller, had some breathing issues and was in NICU for about 10 days before she came home. She is still growing out of her suck-swallow-breath issues, but getting enough and growing.

Patricia has developed into a crying beast at night time. From about 11pm until 6am she is inconsolable. I'm having to supplement with formula as I only have one breast due to cancer. So we switched to a gentler mix and started using biogia in hopes that it helps. But JAYSUS God Help me it's exhausting.

DH's father died shortly after the girls were born and had to fly to SAfrica to settle estate. He has been gone for more than 2 weeks so it's been just me and my 80 year old mom. I tell you, the 2 of us are completely utterly worn out. I am not sure how I am going to do this alone while DH is at work and Mom has gone back home (she lives on the other side of the country and has to go home soon to care for my Dad)

Someone experienced tell me that it is possible to feed, burp, cuddle and care for the twins myself and any advice will be gratefully welcomed.

FYI - I'm 43 and a FTM - ahhhh

rcnavywife · April 2014

I have no advice but just wanted to offer support and an internet ((hug)). We just brought our triplets home and I totally get how overwhelming and exhausting it is! Our daughter is a screamer during the night as well (probably purple crying). I keep telling myself we'll get through this, although it will probably not be graceful. I'll also be checking back to see if any experienced MoM's have advice!

gault530 · April 2014

My DD (singleton) started showing the signs of lactose intolerance at about 6 weeks old. She would scream and scream and scream after I BF'd her. I finally figured out I need to stop drinking milk and eating dairy and it stopped. After I stopped BFing I used low lactose formula and that was the key. Have you tried low lactose formula or eliminating dairy? It takes a few days to get out of their system, but it might work.

LucyRicardo3 · April 2014

It IS do-able, but try to get a routine going, even if it's not a strict by the minute schedule.

I agree with @gault530 , It sounds like something is amiss. Have you discussed any of the behavior with your pediatrician?

It could be reflux, which is treatable with meds, or indeed a food allergy, or other things. Maybe nothing at all, but I'd definitely ask.

I've dealt with reflux with all of my kids, and this last singleton was diagnosed with milk protein intolerance (as well as reflux) while he was still in the nicu. He was passing blood in his stools, but they say by the time it's that noticeable it's pretty bad. Thankfully he's all better now that I'm diary free at the request of the NICU dr's.

My DH started a new job almost immediately after the twins were born. He had to travel for training, and we lived in the middle of nowhere West Virginia, with no family close by. Mom would come visit, but she was so out of sorts that I ended up taking care of her as much as my kids. I was on thin ice emotionally and physically but we made it. One day at a time, instead of thinking "how am I going to keep this up for X Months?"

Rachiemoo · April 2014

Hi and congratulations on your twins! It is so hard caring for them when there is only 1 of you and 2 of them. Is there any way you can afford a part time sitter or nanny? That could help keep you sane. Also, my older daughter had colic and cried a lot for no apparent reason. It is possible that she is just a crier and that there is nothing medically wrong. I would definitely bring it up at your next pediatrician's visit. It is not uncommon for babies to cry a lot in the evenings.

BabyVDM · April 2014

Thanks Ladies for the support.

I have brought Patricia's crying up with the Dr. They suggested the change in formula. I have an appointment next week and will let them know that we still have a problem. His next suggestion was to attempt to treat for reflux.

I was hoping to avoid meds, but if it's what she needs to rest comfortably then I'll do it.

4legsRbest · April 2014

Major (((hugs))) to you. I can't imagine how worn out you must be. You are in my thoughts and I hope Patricia gets better soon. FWIW, if you can afford it, I would suggest looking into a night nanny/doula, etc. We will be hiring one to help with the nights when our twins are born. My singleton DS was a HORRIBLE sleeper for the better part of 11 months and it almost broke us, literally. I can't do that again.

BeckyP005 · April 2014

Lurker....Hey there! I wrote you but I know your busy but just wanted to say congrats on your girls! Didn't realize you were due soon until I saw your name in TPR check in!! What beautiful names they have. I'm sorry of all what you have been through. Sending you some hugs and hoping the new formula will help.

BabyVDM · April 2014

@BeckyP005

Thanks I saw that you sent the call out and I wanted to respond right away but as you can see I have been having a heck of a time.

I see you were finally matched. I hope things are finally going to start happening for you! You really are the most patient woman!

JenyB6 · April 2014

Don't have experience with twins yet. My oldest son (singleton) screamed anytime he didn't have a bottle or 10 min after he was laid down. I had to sleep sitting up and he still woke constantly. Once we started treating his reflux he started sleeping better. By the time my second son can along I noticed the signs early so I didn't have to suffer as long. Good Luck *hugs*