Changing Responsibilities

Re: Changing Responsibilities

• Codypup member

  April 2014

  I'd also work on getting LO to take a bottle from your H. Knowing that your H can successfully feed LO will take a load of pressure of your shoulders. 

  
  

   I've heard it helps for you to leave the room or even the house when he's feeding her...wrap LO in a shirt you've worn so it smells like you, etc. We've found that W won't take a bottle if she's lying down in the cradle position - -she needs to be propped up, almost sitting, like a "big girl." I think she associates the cradle position with my boob, and then gets frustrated when no boob appears. 

  
  

  It also may take some trial and error from you both to figure out what works. I'll be back at work FT next week too, and we're planning on going day by day until we come up with a routine. My hours are pretty consistent but sometimes I just can't get out the door on time -- my H will get LO from daycare, I'll meet them at home, and we'll both automatically start the bedtime stuff. I imagine that I'll take LO while H cooks dinner, but that's mainly because boobs and because I don't cook.  

  
  

  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

  
  

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• MissDemeanor member

  April 2014

  I've found that my boyfriend doesn't hold LO "right" while feeding him. And by right, of course I mean the way I would do it LO is used to being held close while I feed him, and my boyfriend holds him farther away. I swear it makes a difference.

  

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• djtippietoes member

  April 2014

  I would talk to your H and figure out how he can help more.  Maybe he can cook dinners half the week?  I know my H is happy to help but needs me to tell him what he needs to do.  (He's actually told me that.)

  

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• inluv4life2 member

  April 2014

  djtippietoes said:

  I know my H is happy to help but needs me to tell him what he needs to do.  (He's actually told me that.)

  Ditto this. I find my H is not good at figuring out how to help. I have to specific - "please wash the bottles when there are two left. Or please be in charge of refilling the diapers and wipes regularly. Or I need you to do the grocery shopping each week and take DD with you."
  
  It will take trial and error and lots of communication. You guys got this!

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• RedSoxGirl10 member

  April 2014

  Thanks everyone! It's great to hear what others do, just because sometimes I forget what all the responsibilities are. I just do them without thinking I guess. My husband and I both have a vacation week in 2 weeks so I'm hoping that week we can get LO used to taking the bottle from him at night, that way we can at least split the last feeding and I can get to bed early some nights. Thanks again!

  
  

  

  
  

  

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• MissDemeanor member

  April 2014

  It's not quite the same scenerio, but when my Aunt was taking care of my 96 year old Grandma she decided to write down everything she does in a day. Partly in case anyone else needed to do it, and partly so she could remind herself that she really did have a job, even if she wasn't working outside of the home.

  
  

  (Side track here, maybe those of us who are having difficulty with our husbands not believing that we work too should try this).

  
  

  I'm thinking that if you have a clear list, it might be easier to "assign" duties?

  

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• RedSoxGirl10 member

  April 2014

  MissDemeanor

  
  

  That sounds like a good idea! My plan for now is to try to get the night bottle feeding figured out, and then see what happens from there. If after a week or two of work I feel like I need more help, then I'll start assigning duties ha ha. My husband is definitely the type who does not think I work right now (he doesn't say that, but I know he thinks it), but all I can say is in his defense, he is just way more of a home person than me. In the summer (he is a teacher), he doesn't work and I do. I'll come home from a day of work and he will have fixed a bunch of stuff, painted a room and cleaned the house and he won't consider that a day of work at all, where as I totally would. He would make a great stay at home dad I think, but we can't afford 1 salary and I was able to get paid during maternity leave. My guess is he is going to step it up when I go back to work, but I want to be ready in case he doesn't  

  
  

  

  
  

  

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