BTDT Mamas: survival tips

awc1986 · April 2014

Ok it's at the point now where we're all gearing up for the last few weeks, with some of us due in less than 30 days. As an STM+/BTDT mama, what are your tips for FTMs on surviving the next few weeks?

I'm already having a harder time than the previous 2 trimesters put together and I still have a week left at work. I have no idea how some of you work up to your D-day. You must be warriors. Everything hurts, moving is hard and all the coffee in the world would never break through this baby brain haze.

Any advice on what we can do to ease the strain in these last few weeks is much appreciated.

amroke · April 2014

Do you mean surviving in terms of the physical discomfort? If I didn't have to work, I would lay on a heating pad all day.

awc1986 · April 2014

Physical, mental (my brain is on overdrive), sleeping, prepping. Anything that was useful to you really.

Oh and I second the heating pad. I'm lying in bed right now trying to muster up the energy to fill up my hot water bottle for my bum cheek.

MrsT2008 · April 2014

Yeah, are we talking about surviving the next few weeks before delivery? you just do what you need to do. You're lucky you don't have to keep working - that frees up a lot of time to relax and still get everything else done.

MrsT2008 · April 2014

Honestly, there aren't any secrets. You're going to get more uncomfortable, it's just kind of what happens. Like I said, you just do what you have to do to chug through the days/weeks to come.

Junebug060609 · April 2014

Quote fail: meant to quote MrsT

This.

It is hard, but remember that this too shall pass. (Remember that phrase when baby arrives as well. Knowing he wouldnt be up with reflux forever or that the growth spurt would end helped keep me sane.)

amroke · April 2014

The more uncomfortable I got towards the end of pregnancy, the less scared I became of childbirth. I just wanted the kid out. So there's that.

Junebug060609 · April 2014

amroke said:
The more uncomfortable I got towards the end of pregnancy, the less scared I became of childbirth. I just wanted the kid out. So there's that.

One of the things I remember from last time was a few days pp i was doing dishes and MIL was all "go sit down!", to which i responded, "but i can actually do things now without hurting and without my belly bopping everything". I felt like a new me in a lot of ways.

cnbean · April 2014

I spent a lot of time in the bathtub. It helped to ease some of the aches and pains of the last few weeks. Other than that there wasn't much. But I agree with PP who said it helped me to be less scared of labor. By the end I just wanted him out!

MrsT2008 · April 2014

amroke said:

The more uncomfortable I got towards the end of pregnancy, the less scared I became of childbirth. I just wanted the kid out. So there's that.

true story.

danabsd · April 2014

Don't eat yellow snow.

ksyknelvr73 · April 2014

I honestly don't know what to tell you. I worked until the Friday before DS was born (he came the following Monday at 39w4d). I was miserable and uncomfortable. I remember I wore flip flops to work the last couple weeks bc they were the only shoes that fit and that I could put on myself....and it was February, haha. I took naps in my car on my lunch break and that really did help, I was able to recline and prop my feet, I slept better during those naps than I did at night. And lastly, I took Tylenol PM maybe 2 nights a week just to have some semblance of sleep without pain.

bumpuser9353653 · April 2014

Reflect on the fact that you're not chasing a toddler around in addition to all those body aches, hormone spikes, and brain haze. That fact alone should bring you great comfort.

Hallil · April 2014

1-everything is a phase. This applies to l&d, newborn days, and parenting for the rest.of.your.life. It is also applicable to things that are good, bad, or otherwise. Baby not sleeping? It will change. Found a perfect routine? It will stop working. Everything will change, and keep changing.

This takes me to...
2-the more you need or want something to happen, the less likely it will. My daughter is a good sleeper but guaranteed she will get sick the night before I have a seminar that I've been looking forward to (or planning!!!) for months. Try your damnedest to take it in stride. The more uptight you are about schedules and bedtimes and rock solid routines the harder it's going to be to stay happy (and sane.)

AnnieA75 · April 2014

I don't have tips on how to survive it, I just want to tell you to enjoy it. You will never again be in a position where you're not responsible for another human being. Right now, you can do exactly what you want, when you want and life will never be like that again. Enjoy it! I don't say this to scare you by any means, it's just that I never fully understood how true this would be. Life changes once you become a Mom. I wouldn't change it for anything in the world, but just enjoy these last few weeks and do exactly what you want to, when you want to do it.

awc1986 · April 2014

@AnnieA75‌ - thanks for the perspective. I'm really grateful for the 3 weeks I have off work before d-day. DH will be between jobs for the first week too, so we can just enjoy being a couple for the last time. I'm going to spend the last 2 weeks doing what I love the most. Lying on the couch, watching tv and eating. It's going to be at least 18 years before I can do that again.

Xath · April 2014

awc1986 said:
@AnnieA75‌ - thanks for the perspective. I'm really grateful for the 3 weeks I have off work before d-day. DH will be between jobs for the first week too, so we can just enjoy being a couple for the last time. I'm going to spend the last 2 weeks doing what I love the most. Lying on the couch, watching tv and eating. It's going to be at least 18 years before I can do that again.

No no. You can do those things when baby is sleeping. That's called parents date night around here. Go out somewhere and enjoy the fact that you're not also spending $50 on a sitter in addition to what you're doing.

(I mean, watch TV and relax too, but relish the ability to just leave your house without packing for 20 minutes and having outfit changes for everyone just before you were going to walk out the door)

ho11yday · April 2014

Coffee worked for me this morning but normally staying busy at work also helps.

mmks · April 2014

If you're really uncomfortable, have you tried seeing a chiropractor? I always feel better after I get adjusted. I plant to start going once a week during my last month.
Also, to get through the newborn phase...trust in your instincts! I wish I had done that more with my son instead of googling everything and freaking out!

MissLadyTay · April 2014

No advice really. Try to find a good balance between resting and moving. I was on strict bedrest by this point last time, hooked up to an IV. Horrible. This time is so much less painful. Bedrest was physically painful in a way I never imagined. So I'm trying to remember that on my commute to work now. Yes, I hurt, but I've been worse. The freedom to move really does relieve a lot of my hip and back pain. Swimming once a week has been nice! Floating is heavenly.

jenb_99 · April 2014

Enjoy the calm before the storm. Bond with your baby, and with your body for being so awesome. Spend time with your family. And remember that the alternative to finishing out the last weeks of pregnancy is either having a preemie or not having a baby at all. One is challenging and scary, and the other is unthinkable.

sisterjanet · April 2014

savannah_girl said:

Don't be afraid to ask for help. This is now, during labor and with a newborn. By not asking/accepting help, you are not proving that you are a perfect mom, just a stuborn one. It takes a village to raise a child. You should not do this a lone

The theme of my entire pregnancy has been "give me my damn village already." grumble.

OP, at first I misread and thought you were asking for advice on how to survive the first couple weeks once the baby is born, not the last couple weeks before baby gets here. I was coming up with things and then read other responses and noticed my reading fail.

Postpartum, I recommend making time for sitting in the tub with a little water, which they recommended but I didn't feel like I could take the time when Benjamin was born. Also asking for help. Right now... good luck?

awc1986 · April 2014

Thanks for all the tips, pre and post partum! I don't think you appreciate how hard pregnancy is until you go through it yourself. You sort of swap "i feel ya" looks with other pregnant ladies.

One of the things that's getting me through is knowing that however hard I think this is, enjoy it because its about to get a whoooole lot harder.

awc1986 · April 2014

This is my last week at work, so I'm training my replacement as I'm having 9 months off (lucky bitch, I know). But it was so intense today trying to tell someone brand new everything about my job and how to do it. I'm exhausted!

I'm hoping to get her using the system a bit tomorrow, so I can actually pass over some work. Then by Thursday I want to have pretty much handed over. It will be nice to be able to chill a bit and know that my job is in good hands.

MickeyM04 · April 2014

Honestly, you just do what you have to do. DS came 17 days early, on a Wednesday, and I worked a full day on Tuesday and went into labor that night. To the extent you can't do stuff, have your SO/DH help you out. And just remember that as sh!tty as it feels right now, imagine lugging around a toddler who totally does not give a rat's a$$ that your back and feet hurt.

bumpuser10194737 · April 2014

I take it day by day! Tonight that means getting pizza most likely because I was on my feet so much yesterday that my lower back fees awful if I stand for more than a few minutes. Cooking is not going to work for me!

I am taking things slowly nd spreading my nesting projects out as much as I can over the next few weeks. Take breaks when you can and drink lots of water!

fatbarbie0226 · April 2014

Ditto going out as much as possible. You don't realize how hard it is to go out with a newborn (or any age child). Spend time out to eat, movies, bowling... whatever you and DH like to do. You miss the alone time for sure.

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