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June 2014 Moms
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Am I too extreme?

Belinda80Belinda80 member
in June 2014 Moms
I have a 2 yr old daughter and when my husband takes her to the park I go crazy. I seem to always think the worse. When the three of us are together she runs in the opposite direction. So I think something bad will happen. Am I the only controling paranoid mom?
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Re: Am I too extreme?

  • crhein26crhein26 member
    Belinda80 said:
    I have a 2 yr old daughter and when my husband takes her to the park I go crazy. I seem to always think the worse. When the three of us are together she runs in the opposite direction. So I think something bad will happen. Am I the only controling paranoid mom?
    Go crazy as in worry?  Or go crazy as in yell at DH and tell him he can't take her?  I'm sure you aren't the only controling paranoid mom out there, but if you trust your DH, then I would say you need to stop worrying so much!  Your daughter is 2.  You can only do your best to protect her.  And she's going to get older and you aren't going to be able to control her.  So learn to chill now.

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  • MollySmMollySm member
    I worry all of the time.  My parents passed away 9 years ago, and when that happened I gained an incredible fear and realization that bad things do actually happen.  However, just because I worry doesn't mean I let it affect my life, or my family's.  At least to the best of my ability - my H does go in to check that Lucia is breathing more than is probably necessary at night, and he knows that he shouldn't go too many hours without texting me so I don't freak out.  But they go and do things, and I just work on controlling my fears.  I've never let it stop me or my family from doing anything we would  normally do, so I just accept that it's part of life.  
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  • temursgirltemursgirl member
    @MollySm‌ after losing my mom I also started worrying a lot more. It was what you describe, kind of realizing bad things can happen. DH travels weekly for work and I have to make a real effort not to worry and to wait for him to call! I'm very conscious of it, so I hope it will translate into non-paranoid behavior with LO.
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  • rainbowdashhrainbowdashh member
    What was this? I'm so confused!
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  • MollySmMollySm member
    @Temurlang1 - I'm sorry to hear about your mom!  As far as my daughter, I definitely feel like I do a decent job of not letting my fears affect her.  I have a hard time with the sleeping thing, but we have a video monitor which helps, and she sleeps through our other checks.  I'm with her most of the time, but she has grandparents who babysit her and have had her overnight so H and I can go on dates, and I make sure she has time with H without me because I think it's important.  She's had a few other babysitters too.  Overall I don't think she feels my fears, which I think is good.  Good luck managing yours!  
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  • katekat8721katekat8721 member
    Belinda80 said:
    I have a 2 yr old daughter and when my husband takes her to the park I go crazy. I seem to always think the worse. When the three of us are together she runs in the opposite direction. So I think something bad will happen. Am I the only controlling paranoid mom?
    Yes. Even not knowing a lot of key information, I feel safe in answering yes.

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  • Belinda80Belinda80 member
    My husband is awesome and she is such a daddy's girl. it's just we have very different parenting styles. When he takes her to an indoor playground I'm fine. But the street is too close to the neighborhood park and she has picked up the habit of running away from us, it's her way of playing so we can chase her. That was my main concern for her to do that. He's a great dad but sometimes he's too easy going and I'm not. We are complete opposites.
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  • sparklenshine_89sparklenshine_89 member
    DH and I have completely different parenting styles but I trust him 100% otherwise, I wouldn't have had kids with him in the first place. 

    So IMO, I think you're being too extreme. Enjoy the break... it doesn't sound like your H has messed up before.
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  • k2k2togk2k2tog member
    My DH are the same way. He's definitely way more laid back, and I'm a bit of a worrier. But, I trust him and hope to use cues from his laid back nature to help me relax and let our little one be a kid without her mom's fear and anxieties hanging over her. It might be tough the first few times, but I think you need to let your DH spend that time at the park with his daughter alone for the sake of both your DH and your daughter. Kids pick up on that kind of anxiety.

    DD1: June 2014 - VBM4lyfe
    DD2: October 2016
    DC3: coming May 2019


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