Getting Out - How?

amgary · April 2014

I'm just wondering how you all deal with entering back into "regular" everyday life with a preemie. I know things will never be 100% the same...

We are coming off of a LONG winter/lock down and I just don't know where to start. I know I can't keep my 30 weeker born last May locked up forever but I'm still so terrified of germs/public places. I'm still petrified that he will get sick and I won't be able to forgive myself if it causes him to be rehospitalized.

How do you get over it? I want him to experience things and the idea of play groups sound great in therory but then I think about all of the germs and variables I can't control and it really freaks me out.

Any advice/suggestions are welcome! Thanks!

ashleymarie512 · April 2014

I also have a 30-weeker, born last August. She came home on o2 after 66 days in the NICU.

We didn't lock down per se, but were mindful of busy times at the places we did go. For example, we'd go to target middle of the week during the day. If something was busy, we'd cover her car seat up. After the new year, we had to start her at daycare, as we can't afford a nanny and there was no way for DH or I to quit our jobs. I had exhausted FMLA. She goes to an in-home with five other kids. It was scary and I was afraid too. Our sitter was wonderful and had all the kids/parents get flu shots. LO had Synagis too.

So far, knock on wood, we've been really lucky. She's had a couple stuffy nose issues, but never turned into more than that. We're still cautious with hand washing and having people wash up before touching her and staying away if they're sick. As a matter of fact, I've had the stomach flu and DH has had a baaad cold and so far LO hasn't gotten either one.

It's hard, but had to realize that I can't control everything and focus on the things we can control. Good luck and hopefully you all stay healthy

KTZ17 · April 2014

I may be one of the more liberal moms on this board, but is there any medical reason why your son is more vulnerable, like chronic lung disease? At first I was really scared to go out, too. My DD was born in May at 31 weeks. She was on CPAP for a week and doesn't have any medical issues. I've been taking her places some preemie moms might avoid, like the supermarket or storytime at the library. I wear her at the supermarket and obviously don't let people touch her. We started going to storytime in February because I was going stir crazy. So do what you feel comfortable with. RSV and flu season are almost over. You don't have to go places that are swarming with kids, but see if your local library has an infant story time. Sometimes when we go there are only one or two other kids, and they don't touch each other or anything, you hold the baby the whole time. DD has had one cold, and she caught it from her dad and she was fine. It just showed me I can't shelter her from everything. Good luck in whatever you choose to do!

LaciJaxx · April 2014

I'm struggling with this too.

brachysira · April 2014

I think it really depends on what breathing issues you had/have. M was 32.5 weeks and didn't really have much of an issue breathing. We protected her her first winter because she was small, but by spring, she was fat and seemed robust to me. We started going to play groups and she would literally put every toy in her mouth. She still does this sometimes. She got sick, but never even felt bad enough to be calm and never had a high fever. I got sick too, so it wasn't great for anyone. But she was still sick less than daycare LOs and I like that we're getting some immunity built up. On the other hand, some preemies have very serious breathing issues and end up in the ER every time they get sick until they are 5. Some of the kids in our preemie playgroup are prone to Urgent Care visits and breathing treatments but they still come to the group. I think they just feel used to it and so don't worry as much--but their LOs are at least 1. I would just ask you doctor and if it's okay, take the plunge. Summer is a good time for that.

Brummy14 · April 2014

We're 'taking the plunge' this year -- now that the girls are 17m/14m adjusted -- going to public places like stores or church or a baseball game, but will primarily baby wear during that time (more out of convenience than anything). We won't do church child care until prob next summer, but we'll definitely be hanging out with friends who have similarly aged kiddos. We just won't be throwing them into overtly germy environments this go-around. But, we'll certainly NOT be on lockdown (can I get an AMEN?!)

xladybassx · April 2014

My 27 weekers are now 2 months adjusted, and we brought them out for their public debut two weeks ago. This was only after our doctor at the NICU clinic specifically told us we should start bringing them out because the stimulation would be good for their development. Since then they have been to the grocery store, Target, and a park. Each time we kept them in their stroller, which is one of those car seat travel systems. It's probably not as much of a gawker deterrent as baby wearing, but is kept the sun covers mostly closed so people would get the hint that touching was not an option. It seemed to work just fine. Both of my girls are doing extremely well, no known complications except for inguinal hernias and really bad GERD. If they were not doing as well as they are, there is no way I would bring them out!

Pips09 · April 2014

I also have a 30-weeker, and it took a long time for me to be comfortable. We were never on strict lock down, as she was in day care from an early age, but we pretty much never took her anywhere else for 10 months. I was really diligent about cleaning hands and brought sanitizing wipes everywhere. I pulled her form her activities the second winter, too, just as a precaution. I even used a shopping cart cover until she was two. It just gets easier with time.

DrRx · April 2014

For us, it was really up to what our pedi thought and based on how she was doing. We got the "all-clear" to attend the park and the mall playground, etc, in the spring after she turned 1 (around May) when RSV season was done in our area.

She did get her first ear infection in June of that year (and then almost every month after that that we had to do ear tubes, which helped immensely), and she started daycare/preschool this past December (so she has been sick several times), but I see it as part of the normal toddler phase. Although it sucks, and subsequently DH and I also get sick, it's kind of a rite of passage.

PurpleIris30 · April 2014

No real advice since we are still on strict lockdown, and we will be for a while since RSV season can extend until early June here. We do have chronic lung disease concerns, though, so I am practically having panic attacks about my in laws visiting next week (as they do.not.listen to our precautions), let alone taking them out in public.

MinaE01 · April 2014

I know it's hard. I have trouble with this, too, and my DS is almost 18 months. Do what you feel comfortable with. That said, kids get sick - whether they were preemies or not. Your little guy is almost a year and has probably been pretty healthy this winter. He should be exposed to germs, that's how they develop immunities. Unfortunately, we cannot protect them from everything. It's sooo sad when they get hurt or sick, but it's inevitable! I'd rather my son be around other people and kids, enjoy the experience, and sometimes get sick than to be relatively healthy but only at home or in other sterile environments. I mean, I do what I can to keep things clean and sanitized, but I don't drive myself or him crazy.

JoJoGee · April 2014

My DD was born at 26 week. She had a trach and has mild lung disease. We took her to Disney two months after she came home from the hospital. It was summer, but yeah, we're a bit crazy.

We have also always been careful when going out - stayed away from people who acted sick, never let anyone touch her, and carried hand sanitizer. We told smokers they couldn't see her unless they hadn't smoked at all that day. And, our family and friends knew to stay away when they were sick.

But, with all that said, we still visited the ER every month the first winter she was home (and was hospitalized 3 times). The crazy thing is? All her serious illnesses occured after we had been home bound for weeks.

I don't know, I think I'm a mom of a different breed. I don't think germs are the enemy. I think it is important for our kids to get out (for us, for them, for the public). I don't think just because a child was a preemie, or has a disability, s/he should be sheilded from the world. Every child is a child first, issue second. They have a right to a 'normal' child. And, I think it is good for the public to see them, get to know their struggles and their triumphs. It destigmatizes it all.

But, as I stated before, I am crazy.

Tylynngrace · April 2014

Maybe I'm absolutely nuts but my 27 weeker born in October was never really on strict lockdown. He came home in February and for like a month we only did doctors appointments and grandparents houses, but after that we weren't driving ourselves crazy about it. He had synagis which I know isn't a guarentee that he wouldn't get sick but we took the risk. He has yet to get sick yet and we've taken him quite a few places. We go at strange times though to avoid crowds and whatnot for his safety of course. It's too hard to find a babysitter everytime I need to go grocery shopping and DH isn't home. But I'd say do what you feel comfortable with. We feel comfortable going out a little bit but that's just us.

gault530 · April 2014

I'm admittedly pretty liberal about taking my 26 weekers out this year and last year. I also have a five year old that is in preschool, so she brings germs home as well. I would just start taking your baby out and about. You can wear him/her or put him/her in a stroller with a stop sign. Don't be afraid to say something to anyone who attempts to touch your baby, they'll understand and if they don't, who cares.

Both of my babies had colds this year, but they were minor. Each had an ear infection, again minor and totally normal for a child. My DS came home on o2 and DD didn't. Neither of my babies have significant health issues, which is probably why I'm so open to taking them out. They need to be able to see the world and for your own mental health, you need to get out and resume normal activities.

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