June 2014 Moms

Yes I Can!!!

I have noticed that people give me funny looks anytime I do anything.  I can play with a toddler or carry a folding chair.  I thought my co-corker was going to have a heart attack when I picked up something that I dropped.  Luckily, I have the ability to do whatever I want to do.  Lack of motivation id my only hurdle.  In my mind, pregnant moms do this kind of stuff all the time.

Do people treat you delicately?  Any observations or complaints?

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Re: Yes I Can!!!

  • Please excuse my typos above.  I can't figure out how to edit my text.

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  • Someone at the grocery store wanted to help me transfer the bags from my cart to my car. I said I was fine and she said she had just had twins and I shouldn't be lifting the heavy bags. I just thanked her and declined again. My almost 3-year-old is much heavier than some groceries!
  • Yes- all the time!

    I went swimming last night and my mom was like "wow, you can still swim?"  

    My neighbor dropped stuff all over the sidewalk on her way in and I was on my way out so I started helping her pick things up and she was like "NO DO NOT DO THAT PLEASE NO!"

    I was taking in some bags from the grocery store and my neighbor said "you don't need to be doing any of that lifting!".  It was toilet paper. 

     
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  • I haven't really had this happen yet, but I also work in an office where I literally sit at my desk 99% of the time.  Sometimes, I do have to receive smaller deliveries, and I suppose being a pregnant woman definitely endears the delivery drivers to not bitch to me about not having any help to unload stuff (which I didn't help with when I wasn't pregnant either, they just don't even complain about it now).
  • I have no problems accepting assistance.  It's just funny when people freak out over little things.

    BrightEyes112- I think teenagers can be some of the laziest people in the world.

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  • The men around my office won't let me carry stuff but other than that I'm good. I've been making myself walk to and from the metro so I get some extra movement in, and although it makes my grunt, I can still bend over and pick stuff up.
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    June '14 MaySiggy Challenge: Favorite TV mom 
  • I can do everything I did before pregnancy just fine! DH doesn't seem to think so though. He treats me like I'm disabled and made of glass. It's nice that he's doing more to help me out, especially with DS1. But there's definitely times where it can get annoying.
  • I get it everytime I'm at the grocery store. It's either helping me put water into my cart or the lady at the checkout line calling for another employee to help me out to my car. I so don't need help but info find adorbale that she cares enough to try and help.
  • amackattackamackattack member
    edited April 2014
    I love that my husband doesn't baby me. He never gets on my case about picking up my dog, carrying groceries, or whatever. When we go for walks he just asks me to drink water and pushes me to go faster. 

    Everyone else, on the other hand, waaaaay overdoes the concern. My sister wouldn't let me carry her tiny bag to the car. Coworkers marvel at the fact that I can bend under my desk to turn my heater on. Friends are amazed when I can stay at a bar as late as they can. In laws refrain from telling me family drama for fear of stressing me out. It's completely silly but people mean well! 

    ETA: I also noticed people are shocked when they see me still eating salads or turning down a free piece of cake. I guess they assume since I'm pregnant I would be eating pizza/cake/chips/candy all the time?
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  • I think most people get the hint that I don't want their help, but some people - like my mom - still get on my case occassionally.

    However, I really can't just stop doing certain things or like someone else said, nothing would get done. Carrying laundry up the stairs, hauling groceries, and moving around furniture is just gonna have to happen and as long as I'm not in pain I'm going to keep doing it. I think the thing that surprises people the most is that I'm still running regularly. I get a lot of "but are you ALLOWED to be doing that??" from people regarding exercise (*eyeroll*).

    My DH doesn't baby me, either. The other day he came home from work and immediately asked me to get changed so I could help him rake and bag all the leaves in our lawn, lol.

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  • For some reason being pregnant makes me want to do more things "I'm not supposed to do".  Maybe to prove people wrong, I don't know.  I still carry all the groceries in the house in one trip, pick up my almost three year old toddler, move around furniture, etc.  I did these things before I was pregnant so I don't see any harm in continuing to do them.  Obviously I wouldn't do them if I was on bed rest or anything, but luckily I'm not this time so I do what I can.
    ~ Jenny ~
    Married to Jake ~ June 4, 2010 ~
    DS born ~ July 22, 2011 ~
    Two chemical pregnancies:  ~ December 2012 ~  & ~ August 2013 ~
    Expecting our baby GIRL!  ~ June 4, 2014 ~
    June '14 May Siggy Challenge: Favorite TV Mom 
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  • I work with all guys so I get spoiled a bit more I think. Since I "got big" they'll get up to answer the door to our shared office, they'll slow down when they're outpacing me on the stairs, they'll give me an easy path to a chair in the meeting room, and ask me if I need anything if they're going for a snack run. I am very okay with my new special treatment. One did ask to carry my paperwork this week, but I declined. I can still do that!

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  • I get this all the time too! I am a very independent person so it really bothers me when guys at work won't let me lift a small box. I feel useless and like I'm not doing my job and they are picking up my slack. But if it's a huge box or something I'm not comfortable doing I have no problems letting them do it! It is nice though knowing I can take a few extra breaks throughout the day and they don't care!
  • This is not a huge problem for me yet, but only two recent comments really annoyed me:

    I was explaining a contract to a co-worker and very much short on breath.

    Co-worker: *interrupting me mid sentence* Are you OK? Are you out of breath?!

    Me: Yea, it's no big deal, completely normal, happens all the time. Anyway, on page 4...

    Co-worker: Oh no, you should really take care of yourself!

    Um...WHAT does that even mean? Stop breathing? Speaking? WTF.

    The second comment:

    Me: Yea, I'm just having to take Zantac all the time now, the heartburn is increasingly worse and worse. I'm coughing up or swallowing a lot of acid all the time.

    Mom: You really should watch with taking all those pills and things, you know? 

    This pissed me off because I do not run to drugs all the time for everything. I have heard heartburn like this can lead to permanent damage too. If my Doc says it's safe and necessary, that's the opinion I'm going with.
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  • I went to a pool party with my kids for my BFFs sons birthday and it had a bigger waterslide that went into a pool that was 3 ft deep. Some of the looks I got taking my 2 yr old down that waterslide were repulsive. I'm pregnant not handicap. I'm perfectly capable if having her sit on my lap and plop into a shallow pool. Wtf?!
  • The last few weeks my colleagues have really stepped up their surveillance of my lifting / transferring of patients. They have kicked me off of the patient turn team entirely.

    What has been really hilarious is the number if times my patients admonish me for doing too much activity. Weird to have an 85 year old cardiac patient who is totally unstable refuse to have you help them get get cleaned up because "baby comes first". Actually, it is pretty touching...oh no, I am having feelings!!!
  • These stories are making me laugh. I took my 3 year old to the doctor and he wanted her to sit on the tall exam table so I lifted her up and he said oh I would have done that for you. Like I don't have to lift her up at home all the time.
    When I was pregnant before my husband gave me lots of pregnancy sympathy but this time around I do not get it as much.
  • I  work in a school and get the "shouldn't you be sitting down!?" and "I am SO sorry to make you walk all the way up here, but..." from most of my male coworkers (and a few female ones too). My response is always the same..."I have legs! Walking and standing are fine!"

    Walking to my car is what is hard because I have to carry my test kits, laptop case, giant purse, lunch bag, water bottle, etc. Walking around the school? Not hard.
    Me-27 DH-30
    TTC since 7/2010 with PCOS
    MMC 6/13 at 9 weeks
    BFP 10/13!

    Little A was born at 36 weeks on 5/23/14!

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  • People treat me very delicately. Drives me nuts! I get stabby when I'm told to "sit and rest" or "you've been standing too long, go sit". Grr!

    I also may have gotten a little pissy at my coworker who said we should take the elevator instead of the stairs. I huffed out, no! He said, "but you're wheezing" and I snapped back "it's just pregnancy induced asthma! This is my one exercise of the day, don't take it from me!"

    I think his wife should thank me, I'm helping to prepare him for what to expect when she's KU'd.



  • I think his wife should thank me, I'm helping to prepare him for what to expect when she's KU'd.
    Unless she's that wife that plans on milking it and gets pissed at you for her husband going "But Katekat did this when she was pregnant with twins..." Lol
    lol, that's a good point!

  • I have a friend who seriously gets on my last nerve with this kind of thing. Though she directs all of it at my DH, every single time we get together, she says to him, "are really going to make your pregnant wife do xyz?" Over anything.  Last time they came to visit, I ran to pick up takeout, while DH tidied up the house, before they came over.  She about lost her shit.  "You're really going to send your pregnant wife out at night alone (6pm, still daylight)!!" I literally said, "Bitch, please, he was cleaning and I perfectly capable of making a six block round trip. Calm yourself, woman."  She didn't take that well.  Apparently, DH is supposed to wait on me hand and foot, 24/7, for, minimum, the nine months of pregnancy. 

    She and her H are TTC.  I pity the poor man.
  • MegK82 said:
    Another time, I was standing on a chair and had someone freak out and tell me I shouldn't be up on chairs b/c I might lose my balance and fall.
    I'm curious to hear if anyone has lost their balance.  I get so many warnings about falling all the time.  It's like pregnancy will cause my hip to pop out of socket at any moment.

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  • Yes! I try to be friendly and respectfully decline unless for some reason I really do need assistance (luckily its rarely, right?!)... But I usually thank everyone and get a little sarcastic with those with whom I'm closest when they insist... I tell close friends and family that I'm not disabled, I'm pregnant!
  • @brighteyes05‌ - yes it's amazing how clueless teenagers are
  • Whoops meant for that to be sent to @BrightEyes112‌
  • ddd2ddd2 member
    My grandfather was ill and recently passed away.. Just as I was booking mine and my mothers flight I was told I couldn't go to the hospital to see him because there was an outbreak of some nasty disease. Ok.. 2 days later they are planning the funeral and decide I'm also not allowed to attend that. Pregnant women have no business at a funeral.. Excuse me! Either way I'm upset and have to grieve, now I have to do it alone! While my mom and sisters all leave town and later post "family reunion" photos, with family I haven't seen either in over 4 years! Ugh fine.. Someone had to house sit and pick up the dog poo.
  • I get chewed out for picking up a case of water for the cashier by the cashier to scan every time I go to the store. How the hell do they think it got in the cart? My 2 yr old didn't do it. Oh, and not one of these concerned cashiers has offered to help me to my car. If I can pick up an almost 40 lb kid I can handle a case of water thank you.
    True story though, I can only reach the water to wash dishes if I turn sideways which is very uncomfortable and I will milk it to avoid doing dishes
  • Yesterday while commuting to work on the Long Island Railroad I was standing b/c the train was packed. A younger guy (who was also standing) looked at the 2 (seated) guys to my left and said loudly to them "give her your seat can't you see she is with child" to which the other 2 dudes looked up at me and then to the vocal dude and almost started a fight about telling them what to do.

    Yikes! I was so embarrassed since I didn't really need to sit and said "guys thank you but I'm fine" but after one of them got up I didn't really want to cause more of a scene then aready had occurred...
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  • When I worked retail early in the pregnancy one manager wouldn't let me climb on a ladder or lift things even though my doctor was totally cool with it.  She just told me to "not fall off the ladder", yea because even not pregnant I plan on doing that.  The only time I've had to ask for help so far was with a 40lb bag of dog food, which usually isn't an issue for me but my back was out. 

    I also love the people who don't have kids telling me what to do.  The sidewalks had to get cleared after a 4 inch snowfall, I literally PUSHED the snow down the sidewalk, no lifting, walking slow, being super careful.  This girl FREAKED out at me and told me pretty much that I could've killed my baby.  I've also painted part of the nursery.  All the windows were open.  Same girl freaked out at me.  I also love the people who ask me why I'm still working.  I'm a substitute teacher, 1) I don't work every day 2) I have no restrictions so why can't I still work.  The only time I had to be careful was when I was in a special ed classroom with children who hit and kicked.  And in that situation the other aides were pretty on top of it. 

    Luckily DH doesn't baby me but if he sees me struggling with something he'll help

    Baby #1: expected June 2014

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  • DH has offered to carry the laundry up/down the stairs for me but doesn't seem bothered if I do it myself when he's not home.
    But every time I talk to my Grandma she asks if I'm feeling okay and reminds me to let DH do all the lifting. Oh, and my mom told me I shouldn't groom/bathe my dog again because I told her my back hurt afterwards. I told her that's not an option cause if DH tried to cut our pup's hair, it would be a disaster, haha.
  • JNerdJNerd member
    edited April 2014
    Love the stories!

    I don't typically have a lot of lifting in my life, but my hips aren't the greatest, so I try to limit the amount of stairs I do. I can be kinda lazy, and hubby knows my hips suck, so he is really good at grabbing me anything I need to save me a trip on the stairs. Some days, even if I'm feelin gfin e(just lazy) I will ask him to grab things for me. 
    I do try to not abuse it though - I don't know how I'm going to feel the rest of this pregnancy and want to make sure that he isn't 'burnt out' or anything like that if/when I get to a point where there are things I can't do for myself. 
    My OB did try and tell me that I needed to put my feet up for 45mins every day as soon as I got home from work. I just laughed. There is no way that is going to happen with a high energy toddler on hand that needs engagement so the other can cook dinner. 


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