food for thought, re: my own name

brooksidebride · April 2014

So, my name is Katy. I've always liked that it was "just Katy" and not a nn for Kathleen, Katherine, etc.
It never even crossed my mind that I wish I had a more formal name. And I've even posted as such here on BNB when the question comes up.

...until, like, two weeks ago. I don't know what sparked it, but all of a sudden I'm feeling like it just sounds so juvenile and not professional (and I happen to be a professional, career-wise). I was asking my friends the other day if I should start going by Kate because it sounds a little older. They said I was being silly. But I don't know. I can't shake it. And now I really wish I had a more formal name to fall back on for formality and older adulthood.

I guess I'm writing this just to supply some food for thought to those in the process of considering a name that is traditionally a nickname as a standalone first name.

Also, I'm curious: Anyone else feel this way about their own name?

WashingtonQueen · April 2014

Honestly, I think those feelings are manifesting because of this board. You probably never would have noticed otherwise.

brooksidebride · April 2014

WashingtonQueen said:
Honestly, I think those feelings are manifesting because of this board. You probably never would have noticed otherwise.

I thought that could be the case. Though I have been on the board a while and have only felt this way recently. I have a birthday coming up and feeling old... So thought maybe that could be reason too, lol.

KTZ17 · April 2014

I mostly lurk here, but I thought I could relate to your post. My dad wanted to name me just Katie, but my mom said what if she becomes an ambassador or something, she can't be named just Katie! So they named me Kathryn and I have several issues with it. 1) I always have to spell it, and I can never just say Kathryn with a y because they'll spell it Katheryn 2) no one other than my 94 year old grandmother has ever called me Kathryn 3) when people see my full name is Kathryn they assume my nickname is Kathy and 4) people assume when they find out my full name is Kathryn that I spell Katie like you, Katy. So there are pros and cons to both. And if you were wondering I am a teacher, not an ambassador.

DanandVan · April 2014

I think it's totally normal, but I've found it is nearly impossible to get old friends and family to call you something new. (My dh goes strictly by Daniel, but old friends/cousins call him Dan or Danny, which he hates!).
I would put Kate on your resume, introduce yourself as Kate in professional settings, but let your established relationships keep calling you Katy.

==N== · April 2014

I started to feel that way when I got laid off from my long time job and had to start redoing my resume. I use fn mn ln so that it sounds more professional.

Coupled with the fact that people often think I'm in high school but really I'm almost 30 doesn't help my case and I feel like I have to work extra hard to be treated as an adult. My name doesn't have a good nn but In your case Id definitely consider introducing myself professionally as Kate.

blu-eyedwife · April 2014

I have always been so thankful that my parents gave me a formal name. Long before I had even heard of this board. They gave me a formal name because they liked the nickname, and regretted not naming me just the nickname.

But I work in a very professional atmosphere. Not just professional, but male dominated. I have had opposing counsel call me "sweetie" and :"hun" in conversation. I was introduced on Thursday as the "beautiful and competent attorney." Seriously - can you imagine introducing a male peer as handsome? Despite going exclusively by my formal name, most men I work with call me the equivalent of Katy - and it does make me feel belittled and disrespected. If I'm not taken seriously with a formal name, I can only imagine how it would be if I went by a cutesy nickname.

MrsAdventure · April 2014

I posted this on another topic, but it's relevant here so...

My middle name is Nicole, and as a child I went by Nikki. Great for a four year old. In fact for years I wasn't even aware that my first name wasn't Nicole, that's how well established this name was for me. When I learned of my real first name, I was sort of baffled at first, but in the third grade, I told my mom and teacher that I wanted to go by FirstName only. No more Nikki, I was adamant. I am extremely glad I did. I cannot imagine myself being taken seriously as Nikki. That being said, my very close friends, and nieces and nephews all call me by a shortened version of my name, similar to Liz. Even if I were to go by a nickname in my work place, my childhood NN would never be an option because it's too childish (and don't get me started on the 'adorable' spelling).

I think it's important to have a formal name to fall back on. That being said, OP, if you've been going by Katy all your life, I guess the only thing left to do in stand in front of a mirror and see if you can see yourself as a Kate. Would it charge your perception of yourself? My inner third grader says it will, but it was a pretty big deal to me at the time. But everyone is different.

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food for thought, re: my own name

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