Convenient C-Sections Fear-Mongering Links Included in some responses after OP....Don't Click

bumpuser10199668 · April 2014

Did anyone else see/hear this?

https://www.cnn.com/2014/04/04/living/boomer-esiason-c-sections-paternity-leave-parents/index.html?hpt=hp_c2

Disgusting. I just can't imagine ANY husband or father asking his wife to have an elective c-section so that he doesn't miss any work, but an athlete? Give me a break. Just because you make millions doesn't make your job more important than other fathers', you prick. Good for Murphy for shrugging it off, but it really gets under my skin.

nickielachickie · April 2014

HOLY CRAP I JUST SAW THAT.

I like how the guy said that it is money that will give the child every chance in life to be successful....cause being successful in life is only due to money and has nothing to do with your parents being there and parenting you...

I bet he thinks women belong in the kitchen barefoot and pregnant too...

BethanyAnn27 · April 2014

I can't even believe this. Good for Dan Murphy for taking the time to be with his wife and family. That is an important time you will NEVER get back if you miss it. There will be more baseball games. No matter what, family should come before your career.

Those men bashing his decision are disgusting. I hope that someone they care about is in a similar situation...would they still say those same things if it were their wives, daughters (though, heaven help their families if anyone who thinks like that actually has children), sisters, etc.? Just disgusting. These men should be hooked up to a labor simulating machine for 48 hours, then be given a screaming newborn, no help, and see how they feel after.

mapchick77 · April 2014

It makes me sad how out of touch with reality he seems to be.

nickielachickie · April 2014

As a follow up - this is how money makes children successful..........

https://www.cnn.com/2014/04/02/justice/delaware-du-pont-rape-case/index.html?hpt=ju_t5

And the kid who got off for killing people in a DUI for affluenza.....

Yeah - money is WAY more important than good parenting.

SingleMom31 · April 2014

This was a hot topic when I was pregnant last time -- It's not exclusive to men or professional athletes; there are women that choose planned elective c-sections too. It's not a choice that I would make personally (I'm traveling to a hospital an hour away again since the c-section rate is about half of what my local hospital's is), but I don't judge women that do either. Take this mom for example: https://www.mommyish.com/2011/06/02/why-i-chose-to-have-an-elective-c-section/ I've battled anxiety most of my life, and I can relate to that... In my case though, a vaginal birth scares me less than a c-section (hence my choice).

mapchick77 · April 2014

I can say from experience that it is a very difficult decision to make. I was offered an elective c-section with DS because he was measuring large from 25 weeks on. A 36-week U/S estimated him around 9 pounds already, although the rate of measurement error increases a lot the further along you are. The day I had the appointment where the OB suggested the c-section to me my DH wasn't there and it wasn't a decision I could make on my own so I opted to wait. I cried the whole way home though. In the end he was too big for me to push out when the time came so I ended up having the c-section anyway. I am glad I at least tried. He ended up being 10lbs 12oz and I have been told I am not a candidate for VBAC this time, ha ha! Yeah, no kidding.

TheNutt · April 2014

I had to have a CS with my first and another with my second since they were so close together. (12 months). With this baby I will have to have another. No other option. DH work schedule is 2 weeks out in the ocean and 2 weeks at home so, yes, I am sure I will try my best to plan it when he will be home for the full 2 weeks. Feel free to throw stones at me.

And, no, he will not be able to get time off. He broke his leg in Novemeber and is still home for another month off work. (it will be 6 months total) After being off work for 6 months he can't exactly ask for more time off.

mrsdanielleM2010 · April 2014

TheNutt said:

I had to have a CS with my first and another with my second since they were so close together. (12 months). With this baby I will have to have another. No other option. DH work schedule is 2 weeks out in the ocean and 2 weeks at home so, yes, I am sure I will try my best to plan it when he will be home for the full 2 weeks. Feel free to throw stones at me.

And, no, he will not be able to get time off. He broke his leg in Novemeber and is still home for another month off work. (it will be 6 months total) After being off work for 6 months he can't exactly ask for more time off.

Nobody here is going to throw stones at you. Esiason is catching heat for telling Daniel Murphy that basically he didn't keep his wife in line and tell her to have a c section for his own reasons. That's the issue.

emmylu30 · April 2014

I was shocked by his comments also. It is nobody's business but the mother, father and doctors on how/when/why a woman gives birth.

JustCricket · April 2014

MermaidsMagic said:

I'm thinking about electing for a RCS for two reasons. 1, I'm afraid to fail at pushing another fat-headed kid out my vagina, then needing to be rushed to an OR and 2, if I can have the baby on the 8th, I can make a case for it to go to kindergarten at 4, thought right before it's 5th b-day, which since we're sending our kids to private school would be almost 3 thousand savings, plus the full time day care we'd need for 2 days out of the week.

Judge me. I don't give a fuck. It's my damn uterus and my delivery.

I don't think anyone is judging you for getting a c-section again. A good chunk of hospitals (mine included) won't even allow vbac births. and if people are going to judge you, then fuck them

As for the main story. I heard the guy was getting flack about missing opening day yesterday. H and I were talking about how ridiculous all the sports networks were being about it. I hadn't heard that someone actually told him to have his wife have a c-section. That makes the whole thing even more ridiculous. He missed TWO games. With baseball, I don't see the big deal since there are so many games in the season. But what do I, a mere, woman know about this shit.

mrsdanielleM2010 · April 2014

Mermz do it, go for the RCS if it's right for YOU. But Boomer Esiason can suck a bag of dicks for thinking he knows what's best for Mrs. Murphy.

bumpuser10199668 · April 2014

There is a huge huge difference between a WOMAN making a decision to have a c section for XY or Z reason and a man saying a woman should've had one because her husband CHOSE to miss two of 160 games.

Any man OR woman judging a woman for what she did or didn't do with or uterus is a jack hole in my opinion.

And I think women who get all up on arms about someone having an elective are trying to somehow imply they are "better" for having their taint ripped open which is equally as ridiculous as a man implying a woman should've chosen surgery for her husbands work

JustCricket · April 2014

I'd also like to add, all this fear mongering about c-sections does NOTHING to help those women with high risks. The women that know that they will have to have a c-section (ie breech baby, rcs, @1983lindsey 's story) are now being guilted into not doing what is often necessary for the health of themselves and their baby. There's a reason c-sections exist and there is a good chunk of the population that CAN NOT have a safe vaginal birth. I was terrified that I may have to have a c-section until I talked to @mermaidsmagic . I was terrified because of all the 'horror stories' all the anti c-section women in my life kept telling me. Not something I want to hear when I have a higher risk for a c-section or preterm birth.

Do I think that some people go overboard with the use of them??? Yes, examples are some celebs or uninformed people that don't want to 'stretch out their vag'. People like that minimize the real need for c-sections. Also a c-section is not a failure of a birth, it's just a different way. Baby still arrives safe and sound. Same end result.

Anyways the main part of this whole thread is that it's bullshit for an announcer to give a player shit for not pushing his wife to have an elective c-section so he wouldn't miss a game. It's not his choice. It's the player and his wife's decision, and no one elses.

shyviolet101 · April 2014

I have a "friend" (Facebook friend, a school friend from long ago) who admitted she had an elective c-section at the end of Dec so she could get the tax break for the year. It turns out she had a LOT of complications from the c-section, to include her guts somehow literally falling out of her body twice in several months. Of course all of this was detailed graphically on Facebook. She posted recently that she had ptsd from her experience. It sucks that she had so many complications, but honestly I don't feel sorry for her one bit - she voluntarily CHOSE to have a c-section for TAX BREAKS. She put herself and her child at risk of complications for MONEY. No sympathy here.

bumpuser10199668 · April 2014

@mamakate12345‌ https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Perineum

Yes you do.

bumpuser10199668 · April 2014

MermaidsMagic said:

mamakate12345 said:

kshayes0315 said:

No, I wouldn't. It's her body and her choice to do what she chooses with it.

It's not only her body....read the risks (long term such as asthma I just found out about) to the baby:
https://chriskresser.com/natural-childbirth-vii-c-section-risks-and-complications

Hey, there are people here who need to have C/S. Can you not pile guilt on this about how they might have asthma. And if you're gonna link some shit can it be from a reputable source not a 35 year old hippie? He's an acupunturist not an OB. his thoughts and opinions matter not one fucking iota.

Its like the words came into my brain and onto the screen. Thank you.

bumpuser10199668 · April 2014

Also, since there appears to be some confusion, the point of this thread was NOT to bash c-section mommies. Or discuss methods of birth or risks associated with any of them. It was to look at a douche-a-roo radio announcer making stupid comments because he thinks a baseball game is more important than a mother's decision.

Ladies, if you have to or choose to have a c-section, please don't click any links in this thread that others may have already shared or share in the future.

ETA: Unless you wanna click on my taint definition. That'd be cool, too.

JustCricket · April 2014

mamakate12345 said:

kshayes0315 said:

No, I wouldn't. It's her body and her choice to do what she chooses with it.

It's not only her body....read the risks (long term such as asthma I just found out about) to the baby:
https://chriskresser.com/natural-childbirth-vii-c-section-risks-and-complications

this is the fear mongering I was talking about. And seriously ASTHMA??? ummm there are plenty of people out there that have asthma that were born vaginally. Get your head out of your ass. I wouldn't be surprised if you linked a study showing it caused autism too...

eta- or are you also one of those people who also believe that momma can't bond properly with her kid if she has a c-section. cuz you know it interferes with those love hormones.

mapchick77 · April 2014

I wonder what Esiason's wife thought about his comments.

MrsLaLaBug · April 2014

WOW. Just WOW. There's a lot of it in this thread...

shyviolet101 · April 2014

carmstr4 said:

Also, since there appears to be some confusion, the point of this thread was NOT to bash c-section mommies. Or discuss methods of birth or risks associated with any of them. It was to look at a douche-a-roo radio announcer making stupid comments because he thinks a baseball game is more important than a mother's decision.

Ladies, if you have to or choose to have a c-section, please don't click any links in this thread that others may have already shared or share in the future.

ETA: Unless you wanna click on my taint definition. That'd be cool, too.

I clicked your taint definition - love stuff like this. Except it only serves to remind me how far the clitoris and vagina are from one another. Who the hell designed it like that? Why can't the urethra be in front and the clitoris and vagina be like right next to each other?

ETA: The sportscaster is a f'ing moron. I'd call him a neanderthal, but that's an insult to the poor neanderthals.

mrsdanielleM2010 · April 2014

@carmstr4‌ can you put something in your op as a warning for those of us who might need a csection to consider not reading to avoid added anxiety please? @mamakate12345‌ I'm super happy you're so confident and knowledgeable but that doesn't entitle you to scare the rest of us based on your preferences. Edit for spelling.

ashaw512 · April 2014

SmileyGirl18 said:

steelersgirl83 said:
Back to the original issue of Boomer being a jagoff, the MLB actually does have paternity time for the players. They are able to miss up to 3 games I believe. I just can't remember if I heard that or read it yesterday.

On to the other issue at hand. It's no ones body but your own. Therefore, it's your choice. Elective, scheduled, or vag, you do you. I think this is one of those times where the judgey opinions need to remain unsaid. Not that it will happen obviously, but just my thoughts on it.
Sorry. But I am going to judge anyone who elects a first time CS and doesn't have a valid reason. Flame me all you want.

ETA - I should elaborate. I live in an area where elective CSs are done in conjunction with tummy tucks and I think it is ridiculous!

I'm with you on this, BC I went through the same thing. A VBAC is not allowed at my hospital but it wouldn't be an option for me anyway. DD and I were both in distress twice the second time I was crashing and had an emergency CS, after being in labor for 12 hours. I don't think anyone should CHOOSE to have a CS the first time. And recovery was the worst part, I couldn't hold DD for 2 days I had to nurse her while DH held her. I'm very nervous about even having a second CS.

LTMama · April 2014

Another factor to throw into the mix. Some women might have a valid medical reason to NEED a c-section (like a herpes outbreak, for example - it's way more common than you think, and most of the time has nothing to do with promiscuity or whatever ignorant shit people like to say about herpes). And those women may not want to tell the world WHY they needed a c-section, so they might make up another reason to give people who ask them why they had a c-section.

So please consider that before you judge anyone for having what you think was an elective c-section.

mrsdanielleM2010 · April 2014

@carmstr4‌ thanks buddy

Ashleyrfiles · April 2014

bmwaters2121 said:

Well fan-fucking-tastic. I am glad I only read one section of that stupid Chris whatever article, however, it was probably the most terrifying. My husband and his brothers were are over 9lbs, and hence my MIL had to get CSs all 3 times because they were too big. I have accepted that this may be my fate as well. I have no more or less fears one way or another. My baby is already measuring a week bigger than he's supposed to. If I am an offered or suggested an elective because he is big, who knows, I may opt to take it. I have had 2 surgeries in my abdominal region and I recovered quickly both times. I know CSs are much more major, but who is anyone to judge what I decide to do for me, my baby, and my family? Fuck that.

ETA - Boomer is a douche for his comments.

I'm not commenting on this to be discouraging if you do end up deciding to have a c-section if your baby is measuring big. I really do think it is a personal choice to be made between the woman, her doctor, and her DH/SO. And honestly, the idea of birth scares me, especially if he/she will be over 9lbs! But - my nephew was born 9lbs 9oz vaginally with very little tearing. Big baby doesn't mean you have to have a c-section. This is what I try to remember when I think about the potential size of this LO. DH's family grows 'em big! I haven't heard of one of the great grandchildren in the family under 8lb (except the two sets of twins who were both a combined 12lb) and this will be great grandbaby number 22 for his side of the family.

About the article - When I first read it my mind went to Boomer from ESPN (Chris Berman) because I always forget his actual name and I was sad because I love him and it made me think poorly of him. I already disliked Boomer Esiason. He has issued an apology for whatever that is worth...

https://ftw.usatoday.com/2014/04/boomer-esiason-apologizes-for-insensitive-comments-about-mets-paternity-leave/

ashaw512 · April 2014

@Ashleyrfiles‌ your right about having a CS because of a big baby. DH was 10 lbs 13 oz, mil didn't even tear from having him. I think if your US shows a "big" baby then you should talk to your Dr and DH/SO about the risks of CS vs not having a CS. I just didn't have a good experience, and I don't think moms should just go for a CS. I was a CS baby so were my brother and sister, we are all healthy. CS is not a desicion to make BC your scared of a vaginal birth or tearing.

Ashleyrfiles · April 2014

ambershaw512 said:

@Ashleyrfiles‌ your right about having a CS because of a big baby. DH was 10 lbs 13 oz, mil didn't even tear from having him. I think if your US shows a "big" baby then you should talk to your Dr and DH/SO about the risks of CS vs not having a CS. I just didn't have a good experience, and I don't think moms should just go for a CS. I was a CS baby so were my brother and sister, we are all healthy. CS is not a desicion to make BC your scared of a vaginal birth or tearing.

I completely agree. I think recovering from tearing seems better than recovering from major surgery. I will have a c-section if my Dr. tells me I need to but I would like to try vaginally if I can.

ETA - @ambershaw512 - I didn't see your post about being nervous about a RCP and wouldn't have added that about my SIL if I had! That made me feel wicked insensitive

I hope you have a better experience this time around

rockychryslerb2010 · April 2014

SpoofLeJones said:

I'm sure it's annoying to hear me constantly saying this but I really did love my c/s experience. Birth can be scary, but it can also be one of the best experiences of your life. Try not to psych yourself out too much.

Me too, I'm sure my recovery from what is technically an 'elective' c-section was much easier than what it would have been if pushed an 11+lb baby out. Andplusalso, we both are alive and healthy, so there's that.

SmarieMcB84 · April 2014

1983lindsey said:
I a bit confused about the term elective. Can people elect to have a c section without any reason? I thought thee has to be a reason like you have had a c section before or other medical reasons. My MFM has said I should definitely have a c section because of my Crohn's disease (which can spread after a vaginal birth if you tear) and having so many previous major abdominal surgeries that pushing a baby could tear scar tissue attached to places like my intestine causing major problems with leaking intestine. I am just curious about to the term elective I guess. It is my risk to take if I don't go with the c section and choose a vaginal birth. I am choosing to have a c section because the risks seem too great for me to want to chance it. I have gotten some flack from people about it like they don't feel like the MFMs concerns are enough of a reason to choose c section, but I don't give a shit. It's not their body and isn't their risk. I am comfortable with my choice.

So I'm with you here. This will be my third and it will be a RCS due to joint disease in my right hip and a hip replacement in my left. I choose to have a c-section with my first in fear that my unreplaced hip could potentially collapse during labor. Surprisingly my ortho had said my replaced hip was like a Mercedes and could handle it. However, I didn't want to risk needing a total hip replacement after labor. So I elected to have a csection for medical reasons. However, I really really wanted a vaginal delivery. Both my mom and sister and sister in law did it and I am kinda sad I was not able to accomplish it without risk.

Regarding the sports announcer his comment was just plain selfish.

rlyttle · April 2014

I personally would never elect to have a CS, but i also would never attempt to go natural without drugs. people will judge any choice unfortunately. As long as your not electing to have an at home CS with an untrained friend performing the surgery I don't see the big deal. It's still considered a safe delivery method. As long as you are not putting your child or yourself in an unsafe or unhealthy delivery situation, I believe you have several options to choose from.

JulyMomma2U2 · April 2014

Ya know, I'm glad for the warning, but just wanted to chime in here anyway... What pisses me off about the c-section bashing/fear mongering is this... Many of us had cs for medically necessary reasons.. My DS1 was an emergency c/s.. He was then also born with tachypnea and fluid in his lungs... As he was kept away from me in the NICU, and I was later discharged without him.. I googled and googled and read tons of articles about how those things *could* have been a result of him being a cs baby... The guilt I carried/carry...But I had no choice.. He is alive.. We are both alive and well because we did that... Ugh. My point is, those of us who have had medically necessary c/s put enough judgement on our shoulders, we don't need people like Mamakate throwing around non medically sound articles giving us more reasons to feel guilty. Eff that. With regards to elective cs in general.. It's not for me.. I actually was prepped early on that cs might be necessary, but chose to try natural anyway... I wanted that experience.. And, that guy is a total douche for saying she should have had a cs..!

Nootbar · April 2014

@JulyMomma2U2‌ - I'm so sorry for what you went through, but I just wanted to say please don't torture yourself any longer. I had my first at home with a midwife. He was 9 lbs 4 oz and posterior (sunny side up). I had a prolonged pushing phase and shortly after birth he had to be transported to the NICU due to fluid on his lungs and transient newborn tachypnia. I, too, felt so much guilt- for trying a home birth over a hospital birth, for not going to the hospital sooner when pushing was not productive. If I'd been in the hospital, they almost certainly would have sectioned me and I always wondered if we would have avoided the NICU. I also tore severely and didn't heal for many months. I didn't have sex again for 18 mos after the birth. My physical recovery was awful, and my OB now thinks a c-section would actually be easier than what I went through. So, she is leaving it up to me, though she says if it was her she would lean toward the surgery. Anyway, all this to say that what happened to your DS could have happened no matter if you had chosen the crunchiest, hippie granola home birth in the world- and I'm going from that extreme to seriously considering an elective c/s. @mamakate12345 - judge away.

blue+skies · April 2014

I do not judge women for their decisions regarding birth, ESPECIALLY any decisions made in those last weeks of pregnancy. I almost changed my whole "birth plan" the last week, because I was hormonal, emotional, physically uncomfortable, and just done. I don't think women should be judged for ANY decision they make in those last weeks, since I know from my personal experience that I was so unstable emotionally. That is why I think it is so important to have a good provider you trust. Because I do judge providers (and only the providers!) who push for unnecessary interventions because of convenience. And it happens a lot. I am so glad I am a stubborn fool who refused my provider's recommendation of an induction at 40+2, because I was not progressing at 40 weeks. DD was born at 40+6, on her own with no problems and a relatively easy labor. It is not a woman's fault if they take the recommendation of a provider that is not giving good advice. What it comes down to though, is healthy baby and healthy mom is the only goal, and the journey to get there is different for everyone.

bumpuser5078523 · April 2014

I didn't read all the responses, some were annoying me.

I had a c-section and I wouldn't wish it on anyone. My recovery sucked and my core strength is completely messed up. It's major surgery and should be treated that way.

That being said, if someone wants one, go for it. I'm hoping for a VBAC.

MeNV · April 2014

Ziongirl77 said:

Geez...I'm glad you put those warnings on this thread @carmstr4 because I probably would have clicked them. My OB already told me that I could potentially need a c-section because of the fibroids not allowing the baby to turn or blocking the cervix. So as a FTM, I'm not going to freak myself out any more than necessary.

Oh yeah and Boomer is a jerk...

I have ginormous, melon size fibroids and was told the same thing by my OB for my two previous babies. Both time, the baby was easily able to turn and the fibroids moved out of the way. I was able to have great vaginal deliveries. I know it could be different this time, but just wanted you to know it's possible!

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