If you're not returning to work, when to tell?

ASecretChord · April 2014

I have made up my mind that I will not be returning to work after baby is born. I won't take maternity leave either because I don't feel right pretending like I'll be back when I have no intention to.

So now it's a question of timing. When would you say something to your boss? Immediately? Wait until July? Somewhere in between?

The part of me that wants to wait is the part that still can't believe I'm pregnant! I don't know if I ever got over the whole "don't get too excited. Wait and see" attitude of the first trimester.

Thanks for your feedback!

jamjoyful · April 2014

I have already talked to my boss about the situation. Actually, they have been badgering me and telling me to only take a 6 week maternity leave (no daycares here even accept infants before 12 weeks). It made my decision to not return easy. I have been very open with her that I do not plan to come back.

Valancyy · April 2014

This really depends on your situation. I would say that if you're entitled to paid maternity leave, take it first, then tell them. I know some states don't allow this, if you don't return to work, you have to pay back your maternity leave. I'm in New York, and my maternity leave was my Short Term Disability policy.

I think that using STD for 6 weeks is totally acceptable, you're recovering from birth and have worked for this benefit, so you should get it.

For myself, I didn't know I was going to stay at home until the end of my leave with my 2nd child. I ended up going back to work for 1 week, then putting in my 2 weeks notice (after a 6 month maternity leave).

jamjoyful · April 2014

cruelsound said:
Be careful. If you give notice while out on leave, some companies will cancel your benefits back to your last day worked, leaving you responsible for the out of pocket cost of those benefits.

Very good point!! I didn't think about it since I really don't have vacation or STD and our insurance is through DH.

caybeh · April 2014

With DS, I knew I was going to quit and not come back. I worked for a large company in the finance department. He was a March baby. At the end of Dec, we had some others leave and my boss asked me point blank what I was planning to do. I told her at that time, that I was probably not going to come back once the baby was born, but wanted to wait a little bit before giving my official notice. I waited until Mid-Jan and gave a four week notice. I ended up quitting two weeks before my due date, I felt that four weeks was good as we were going through year end and audits, and with me having to train a back up, it gave a little more breathing room for everyone. I also did not take maternity leave, as I felt that it was unethical since I knew I wasn't coming back.

It really is up to you and how well you know your employer. GL on your decision!

ASecretChord · April 2014

Thanks everyone for your comments. You've brought up lots of things that didn't occur to me! I have some thinking to do.

My employer has been pretty good. I'm going on 10 years with them. Another person in our department has been dying for a promotion, so my leaving might help open that door for her.

I think I'll just wait on it for a while though. When it comes closer to July, I might start preparing them for the possibility that I might not return.

It sounds like my work makes you take the 6 weeks of maternity leave first and then the Short Term Disability, followed by vacation & personal days. I wish I could flip those around and go straight to the sick days + disability. I feel entitled to those benefits, but not to the mat leave.

sarahg8r · April 2014

I agree with some previous posters...I think it depends on your work situation. In my previous job, the hiring process was very lengthy. It would take a minimum of three months to get someone hired. So if I knew that far in advance that I wasn't coming back, I would let them know sooner rather than later so they had enough time to hire a replacement. Also, it depends on whether you plan to re-enter the workforce at some point and what kind of impression you want to leave on your employer.

ETA - If you told them at the beginning of July, that would be 5-6 weeks before your due date. That's cutting it a little close for me if you are sure you aren't coming back. Every company I've worked for has paid me for my vacation days upon termination of employment. I would think your company will do the same.

jojosmommmy · April 2014

I've been wondering about this too, but legally I don't have to tell them anything before I leave for maternity. I am 90% leaning towards not coming back to work, but anything can happen, anything can change so I'm not going to take the risk of saying I'm not coming back. I could hate being home. I could love it. That way the opportunity will be there if I want to come back.

I get 5 weeks paid 100%, 3 weeks at 60% and 4 weeks unpaid. If I decide not to come back, I will do so in the last 4 weeks to give them time. They will be hiring a freelancer in the meantime so the option to hire that person can be there too. I'm also switching to my husbands insurance since he works for the state and it's dirt cheap, so once the baby is born (qualifying event) we don't have to worry about paying the company back, etc.

ASecretChord · April 2014

I'm in New York. The more I've thought about it, I think I should say something soon. There are some huge projects in November and December, and if I don't say anything now, they're going to think I'll be back and ready to go at that time. Plus, they do take forever to hire people around here. It makes sense to prepare them now, and I don't think I have anything to lose (besides mat leave which I wasn't planning on taking anyway!)

shevaCC · April 2014

I don't know, I still think business is business -- your companies are all looking out for what's best for them, not you because that's just how it works. I would be concerned for all you ladies that if you give early notice they might just tell you to pack your bags and go home now...or in 2 weeks, or whenever, and not wait until August. That could throw a wrench in your financial plans assuming you were counting on a paycheck between now and then.

Personally, if I knew I wasn't going to come back, I would give 2-3 weeks notice, so around 37-38 weeks. If I went into labor and baby were born early, I would tell them then. I agree that it's not fair to wait until the end of your maternity leave, but I think you really need to look out for yourself first. Your boss will understand -- 2-3 weeks notice is fairly standard and considered plenty professional. You'll be wrapping up projects anyway by then.

Regufsevolem · April 2014

shevaCC said:

I don't know, I still think business is business -- your companies are all looking out for what's best for them, not you because that's just how it works. I would be concerned for all you ladies that if you give early notice they might just tell you to pack your bags and go home now...or in 2 weeks, or whenever, and not wait until August. That could throw a wrench in your financial plans assuming you were counting on a paycheck between now and then.

Personally, if I knew I wasn't going to come back, I would give 2-3 weeks notice, so around 37-38 weeks. If I went into labor and baby were born early, I would tell them then. I agree that it's not fair to wait until the end of your maternity leave, but I think you really need to look out for yourself first. Your boss will understand -- 2-3 weeks notice is fairly standard and considered plenty professional. You'll be wrapping up projects anyway by then.

I agree with this. I am planning on not coming back and this is what I was planning to do. Because its true, what if they just tell me to leave now? Then I have no savings.

bamanichole · April 2014

I talked with my boss last week about part time and he informed me that isn't a possibility. Then told me if I'm not planning on coming back to let him know now so he could get omeone hired and trained by August. My office is small and I'm the only woman and provide all administrative assistance to 7 staff members and about 45 department members so there is a lot to pass on. I told him I don't want to quit because I love my job and that I'll come back after maternity leave. Then if I decide I need to quit after that I'll give him plenty of notice to hire and train someone instead of the standard 2 weeks.

lsugirljen · April 2014

As a boss who is going through my secretary who took 12 weeks maternity leave and waited until exactly 2 weeks were left in her leave give her notice, don't do that. We are now having to advertise for her job and after 3 months of not having a secretary it is probably going to be at least another month. It blows for everyone in office. Her situation may be different as she is a civil service employee and she will get paid for up to 300 hours of annual leave that she may have accumulated.